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24 Types of Pot Smokers...
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That ACDC Chick
All That Noiz

Gender: Female
Location: Stuff and Things

24 Types of Pot Smokers...

where do you fit in?

your toking travels.
1. The ADHD Kid Signature smoking method: Steamroller

He stopped taking his Ritalin a long time ago because it made him feel dead inside. But then he was a total spaz. So to keep himself from jumping around like a psychotic banshee, he started smoking weed. After a few hits, the smoke calms him down to a level of energy just above the average person. Which is good, because if it didn’t, he’d have no friends.

2. The Stoner Chick Signature smoking method: Cute pink bowl that fits in her purse

When she’s smoking, this usually liberal arts-educated chick is cool as hell. She listens to good music, has a good laugh, often goes without a bra and is an all-around smokeshow. Plus, she’s usually friends with old guys who think she wants to screw them so they give her bud. But when you’re not stoned you realize she’s just kind of boring.

3. The Artist Signature smoking method: Homemade bong

It’s no secret – creative people smoke pot. It’s just how it is. But since this person is more productive when he smokes, he basically has a life-long free pass on smoking weed whenever he wants. That said, he’ll rarely talk about smoking weed because he doesn’t want to admit that his last four good ideas came to him while watching episodes of “Blues Clues”.

4. The Patient Signature smoking method: Vaporizer

With 16 states having already made medical marijuana legal, it seems everyone these days has some serious medical condition requiring the magical powers of marijuana. But for the truly terminal, life doesn’t get much better than steaming up some pot in a vaporizer and watching re-runs of “Murder She Wrote”. Not that you have to be dying to enjoy that or anything…

5. The Outdoorsman Signature smoking method: Bowl

This guy doesn’t f**k around. He knows what to do when you encounter a grizzly and how to tell time with the sun. He can make a bowl out of anything, knows which mushrooms to eat – and which ones to never eat. You almost want to be him, until you realize his best day possible consists of hitting a bowl of kind bud at the base of Mt. Everest, followed by a week-long trip up a g*ddamn mountain.

6. The Creepy Old Hippie Signature smoking method: Joint – Sri Lanka Buddhist Monk Pipe

Yeah, he’s stuck in the ’60s – but why? My guess it’s because this grimy bastard likes to pick up chicks, smoke them down and touch them – just a hunch. Add that to the fact, he’s smoked too much weed and doesn’t have much else going on. You almost feel sorry for the guy. Almost.

7. The Retiree Signature smoking method: Expensive pipe/bong

These Boomers have been waiting for this moment since Woodstock. After growing up in the 60s, they did the responsible thing, made their money, sent their kids to college and are now settling into the glory years of reading The New York Times, gardening and smoking a sh*tload of weed. They mostly smoke at home, probably in “the den,” while listening to Leonard Cohen and Kris Kristofferson records and daydreaming about not being old.

8. The Connoisseur Signature smoking method: The Hurricane Bong

Despite the fact that this guy always has the best weed available, The Connoisseur is kind of a douche to smoke with. On top of just talking way too much about weed all the time, he only smokes organic weed, only takes ‘green’ hits (the first hit of a bong or pipe – which wastes a ton of grass, obviously) and is just an all-around buzzkill. But like I said, he does have great weed, so you’ll still hang out with him, you mooch.

9. The Moocher Signature smoking method: Whatever you’ve got

Not necessarily a bad guy – but still a pain in the ass – The Moocher only smokes weed when you smoke weed. You realize he’s doing it, but he seems to always have something terrible going on in his life that can only be remedied by a couple of pulls on your bowl. (What are you gonna do?) And if he finds out you always have weed, forget about it – you’ll have to kill him to make him leave.

10. The True Stoner Signature smoking method: Roach

This easy-going, goofy bastard always starts his days off with a wake-and-bake courtesy of his bedside bowl, followed by as much additional weed smoking as possible. He’ll always have just enough weed on him to keep him going through the day. That is, unless he just re-upped is stash, in which case he’ll smoke most of his bag the first night.

11. The Professional Signature smoking method: Something strong

If you don’t catch this guy in the act, you’d never know he smokes at all. That’s because, most of the time, he’s working his ass off. But when he comes home from a hard day, the only way he can chill out is by getting really, really high. I mean really high. He gets good weed, but often doesn’t know the difference between specific strains of marijuana. But that’s OK, he doesn’t have time for that bullsh*t.

12. The Teenager Signature smoking method: Coke Can/Apple/Toilet Paper Steamrollers

As if they weren’t whacked-out of their minds already on mind-altering hormones, teenagers love to smoke pot. These newbies always think they have the best weed, but half the time it’s just a bag of grass clippings and sage. But when they have real weed, they’ll smoke anytime they have more than an hour away from their parents – who are probably at home doing the same thing, anyway.


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Old Post Jun 20th, 2009 10:44 PM
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That ACDC Chick
All That Noiz

Gender: Female
Location: Stuff and Things

13. The Gen-X Parents Signature smoking method: Brownies

Deep down, these people are cynical and pissed off. In their spare time, they do yoga and attend wellness seminars and have the worst children on the planet – I mean real sh!theads. They work at ad agencies and have time shares and generally suck to hang out with. But you know what the perfect cure for all that is, don’t you? Yep, it’s weed. High five!

14. The Quitter Signature smoking method: Whatever you’ve got

These poor saps are trying to quit something – usually alcohol or cigarettes – but can’t handle the glaring horrors of reality completely sober. So they smoke pot. And when they do, one of two things will happen: a) they only take a puff or two and then say nothing the rest of the night, or b) they take a puff, hang out for a bit, then sneak into the kitchen, steal your bottle of peach schnapps and leave for a night of good ol’ fashioned self-destruction.

15. The Drinker Signature smoking method: Anything besides a blunt or a giant bong – it’ll scare them off

At first, The Drinker never wants to smoke. They approach the proposition of some herb with a healthy dose of reluctance. But before you know it, they’re all ‘Well, maybe just a hit.’ Two bowls later, they’re elbow-deep into a bag of Doritos, talking non-stop about how amazing his life is and swearing off liquor to make room for herb. Next day, he’s back on the bottle.

16. Ghetto kid Signature smoking method: Dutchie, peach/grape blunt

No matter the The Ghetto Kid’s race or where he’s from, when he gets high, nine times out of ten, he’ll throw on a beat and start freestyling for hours, until it’s so boring you can’t even have fun smoking pot anymore. And when he’s not doing that, he complains about anything that’s pissed him off within the previous 36 hours, then shrugs it off like it’s nothing. And after all that, he’s still one of the best people to smoke with, ever.

17. The Sorority Girl Signature smoking method: Her boyfriend’s gravity bong

Like the moocher (but significantly hotter/more obnoxious), the Sorority girl only smokes weed when someone else buys it. But every time she does, she gets way too high and passes out within 20 minutes of burning a fattie. But before she’s out, The Sorority Girl will complain to you about how awesome she is – compared to Vicky, who’s a total b*tch, BTW.

18. Rastafarian Signature smoking method: Fat joint

Like The Connoisseur, The Rastafarian takes his pot-smoking deadly serious. You can’t understand a word he says before he lights up, and just forget about it if he’s already stoned. However, if communication is a must, your best bet is take a few tokes for yourself and everything will become crystal clear. You’ll see why they call it a religious experience.

19. The Redneck Signature smoking method: Sh!tty metal bowl

This dude ‘just don’t give a f**k.’ He smokes and drinks at the same time, gets crazy at parties and loves to blow sh!t up. Chances are he grows all his own kick ass weed (in somebody else’s corn field). And he usually falls into one of two categories: really funny or really dumb. But regardless, either one is fun as hell to toke-up with.

20. The Metal Kid Signature smoking method: Bowl

Short of going backstage at a Slayer show, nothing makes The Metal Kid happier than sitting in his basement apartment, listening to bands like Skeleton Witch (on vinyl) and watching Metalocalypse. And for some reason, when a group of these surly fellows smokes, nobody talks – but nobody’s uncomfortable. Except you.

21. The Skater Signature smoking method: One-hitter

You might mistake this guy for The Stoner or The Teenager. But unlike either of those assclowns, The Skater has an extremely high potential for raw havoc, no matter how much he’s smoked. In fact, if a bunch of skaters who you don’t know show up at your house, expect to see the cops sometime before dawn, I promise.

22. The Teacher Signature smoking method: Spliff

When you only know this guy as your hard-ass literature professor, it’s hard to imagine him doing anything but re-reading The Taming of the Shrew in his spare time. But you know what makes the The Taming of the Shrew more hilarious? Of course you do – and so does the prof…

23. The Frat Guy Signature smoking method: Joint

Because of constant sporting obligations in high school, The Frat Guy never smoked weed until just before graduation, or when he moved away to college. If you smoke him down, from then on, every time he sees you, he thinks you’re stoned, even when you’re not. And the only thing he ever talks about is how high he is, was or is planning to be later this evening at the Tri-Del party, bro.

24. The Druggie Signature smoking method: Anything that works

The first way to know that weed is not a real drug is by seeing someone who’s taken real drugs after a real binger. And since coming down off of drugs like heroin, meth, etc is about as fun as trying to screw a pillow case filled with broken beer bottles, the only good thing to stave off the nausea, headaches and all-around suckitude, is a few quick hits and a room without light. Now, when has anyone ever had to do that with weed?…


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Old Post Jun 20th, 2009 10:44 PM
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RogerRamjet
Playground Superstar

Gender: Male
Location: Madchester

none of them..cause i don't smoke! but go ahead and ask Mairuzu an' TFG...bet they'll qualify for 23 out of 24!


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Sig by Scy!

Old Post Jun 20th, 2009 11:47 PM
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Mairuzu
Old School Cool

Gender: Male
Location: The bellies

they're all gay


25: Smokes weed, listens to music, plays some games, watches some movies, eats a shit load of foods


passes the **** out


__________________


TGFwashere

Old Post Jun 21st, 2009 02:31 AM
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Kostabot
I'm a rooster illusion

Gender: Male
Location: Over yonder

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Mairuzu
they're all gay


25: Smokes weed, listens to music, plays some games, watches some movies, eats a shit load of foods


passes the **** out


This.


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What is this I don't even

Old Post Jun 21st, 2009 02:34 AM
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Strangelove
Misunderstood Genius

Gender: Male
Location: The Transmogrifier

25 is my best friend. 1-24 suck.


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Old Post Jun 21st, 2009 09:00 AM
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Sadako of Girth
Extreme Mode

Gender: Male
Location: McClane's Right one

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Mairuzu

25: Smokes weed, listens to music, plays some games, watches some movies, eats a shit load of foods


passes the **** out


Dude. I think we may be related. stick out tongue


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"Van Zan is the Pinocchio of feces." - Lestov16

Old Post Jun 21st, 2009 09:41 AM
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~Bun Bun~
**KMC OG**

Gender: Female
Location: In your pants

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Mairuzu
they're all gay


25: Smokes weed, listens to music, plays some games, watches some movies, eats a shit load of foods


passes the **** out
Ditto yes


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There'll be peace when you are done

Kudos Scribble for the wicked awesome sig!

Old Post Jun 21st, 2009 10:19 AM
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RedAlertv2
Senior Member

Gender: Male
Location: New New York

Funny how you use 24 different stereotypes and still cant pin down the real reasons. I find it comical though; when one stereotype fails, use as many as possible, one is bound to be right.


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How Could Hell Be Any Worse?

Old Post Jun 21st, 2009 10:24 AM
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Sorgo XIII
Restricted

Gender: Male
Location: Gotham City

Account Restricted

This thread is awful.


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Someone once taught me that the world only makes sense when you force it to.

Old Post Jun 21st, 2009 11:05 AM
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Piggle Humsy
I H8 Welshy

Gender: Female
Location: Location, Location

(please log in to view the image)


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..T H I N K I N G.. ..B E E..

Old Post Jun 21st, 2009 12:03 PM
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Mairuzu
Old School Cool

Gender: Male
Location: The bellies

my back hurts

smokin it


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TGFwashere

Old Post Jun 21st, 2009 04:06 PM
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Rogue Jedi
Restricted

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Location: On my way to the Cage

Account Restricted

Just smoke the weed and stfu, why feel the need to break it down?


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All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I **** like you wanna ****, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not.

Old Post Jun 21st, 2009 04:40 PM
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Mairuzu
Old School Cool

Gender: Male
Location: The bellies

hahaha


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TGFwashere

Old Post Jun 21st, 2009 05:53 PM
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Neo Darkhalen
Mission zero

Gender: Male
Location:

When I see threads like this, I die a little inside....it's just ahh...makes me loose hope in KMC. I hope you're ashamed ACDC, you better ****ing be!

Old Post Jun 21st, 2009 05:57 PM
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The Grey Fox
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I just smoke that shit and feel good, **** stereotypes bitches


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Old Post Jun 21st, 2009 07:02 PM
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dadudemon
Senior Member

Gender: Male
Location: Bacta Tank.

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Mairuzu
they're all gay


25: Smokes weed, listens to music, plays some games, watches some movies, eats a shit load of foods

Makes out with Chos because he looks like an overweight Christian Bale.

passes the **** out


Fixed.


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Old Post Jun 21st, 2009 07:06 PM
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Rogue Jedi
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quote: (post)
Originally posted by The Grey Fox
I just smoke that shit and feel good, **** stereotypes bitches
As it should be.


__________________

All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I **** like you wanna ****, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not.

Old Post Jun 21st, 2009 07:09 PM
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The Grey Fox
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RJ's in the know.


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Old Post Jun 21st, 2009 07:14 PM
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Rogue Jedi
Restricted

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Location: On my way to the Cage

Account Restricted

No, I am pretty much full of shit.


__________________

All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I **** like you wanna ****, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not.

Old Post Jun 21st, 2009 11:57 PM
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