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How is this story?
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| OMG I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT |
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0% |
| It's pretty good |
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100.00% |
| its ok... i guess... |
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0% |
| I HATE IT!!! |
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1 votes |
100% |
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hpfanatic123456
Member
Gender:
Location: United States |
Read This And Rate!!!!
First of all, anyone who doesnt like fictional stories, get out now!!!
Okay everybody who doesnt want to be here, are you gone? Good.
This is a story i sometimes write in my spare time and i was wondering if any of u would like to read it. i'd like tips, suggestions and constructive critiscim. PLEASE DO NOT JUST DOWNRIGHT DISS THE STORY, i need to know exactly what is wrong with it, or what i did good.
yes i know my sn is hpfanatic, but this is not related to harry potter at all. so read rate, and help me out!!!
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Dec 28th, 2005 11:25 PM |
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Striding Cloud
Senior Member
 Gender: Male
Location: ATing |
this gonna get closed
__________________
One Missed Call!
Thnx Malk! 
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Dec 28th, 2005 11:27 PM |
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hpfanatic123456
Member
Gender:
Location: United States |
The Eleventh Sense: Dark Secrets
Prologue:
Charles kneaded his weary eyes with his aching knuckles. With a cry of frustration he pounded his fist against the cedar wood desk until his fist was numb. Four sleepless nights of fruitless searching can do that to a person. He gained control of himself again, cracked his fingers and took a long sip of crystal clear water. Charles then buried his head inside his arms. I need to sleep, he thought, and mussed his light brown hair. Just a quick nap…
BANG! BANG! BANG! A loud rap on the door interrupted the silence in the room. A girl of about seventeen stormed in. It was Charles’ two years older sister, Erin. She had her raven black hair tucked into a sleek ponytail and her honey-golden eyes that matched his, glared around the room. Her porcelain skin was flushed with excitement.
“I found the right information! We just need you to analyze it,” Erin exclaimed, clutching a sheet of paper and waving it in his face.
“No Erin, I haven’t slept in four days! Just let me get some rest…” Charles wearily closed his eyes.
“NO! Charles we need you to be your computer geek- I mean genius- self right now. This is probably it! Please Charles, we, I need you!” Erin pleaded. This surprised Charles because Erin never pleaded with anyone, especially her two years younger brother.
“Fine,” he grumbled, and snatched the piece of paper from her hand.
He read the paper in one minute and thirty-three seconds. Charles eyes widened and his hands shook as he spoke. “Get Drew.”
“But- but- shouldn’t we wait for Sam and Nichole?” Erin stuttered.
“No. This information not only gave us the whereabouts of Jake and Adriana, but the whereabouts of Jennifer and-”
“Shhh. Not now. If we are going to capture the other three by ourselves, we have to go soon, before she finds out. I’ll get Drew.
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Dec 28th, 2005 11:28 PM |
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hpfanatic123456
Member
Gender:
Location: United States |
why?
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Dec 28th, 2005 11:29 PM |
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bamboopanda
The Forsaken
 Gender: Unspecified
Location: Some dark forgotten corner |
__________________
Happy Halloween
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Dec 28th, 2005 11:30 PM |
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Striding Cloud
Senior Member
Gender: Male
Location: ATing |
(has no permission)
__________________
One Missed Call!
Thnx Malk!
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Dec 28th, 2005 11:30 PM |
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hpfanatic123456
Member
Gender:
Location: United States |
sry im new at this, y would it get closed? ppl do this all the time from wht i read and this is generally fiction so i dont get yd they close it down
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Dec 28th, 2005 11:30 PM |
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hpfanatic123456
Member
Gender:
Location: United States |
how do u get permission?
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Dec 28th, 2005 11:31 PM |
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hpfanatic123456
Member
Gender:
Location: United States |
oh ok im sry ill change it
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Dec 28th, 2005 11:31 PM |
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Striding Cloud
Senior Member
Gender: Male
Location: ATing |
(AND UR TRIPLE POSTING)
__________________
One Missed Call!
Thnx Malk!
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Dec 28th, 2005 11:32 PM |
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hpfanatic123456
Member
Gender:
Location: United States |
huh? ok now im really confused, idk about any of this.... and isnt this the general fiction forum???? 
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Dec 28th, 2005 11:34 PM |
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Striding Cloud
Senior Member
Gender: Male
Location: ATing |
no it isn't u might get banned
__________________
One Missed Call!
Thnx Malk!
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Dec 28th, 2005 11:34 PM |
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hpfanatic123456
Member
Gender:
Location: United States |
**panics** how do i delete the thread then?
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Dec 28th, 2005 11:35 PM |
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NK-Syndrome
Nonexistant
Gender: Male
Location: |
Oh, this happens all the time. Don't worry, if you accidently posted it in the wrong forum, then Ush won't get pissed. You can't delete threads, but Ush will close it.
Last edited by NK-Syndrome on Dec 28th, 2005 at 11:38 PM
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Dec 28th, 2005 11:35 PM |
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Striding Cloud
Senior Member
Gender: Male
Location: ATing |
(u can't)
__________________
One Missed Call!
Thnx Malk!
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Dec 28th, 2005 11:36 PM |
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hpfanatic123456
Member
Gender:
Location: United States |
could someone tell me how to delete the thread and put it in the right place, i just joined a week ago and i dont wanna get banned...
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Dec 28th, 2005 11:37 PM |
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hpfanatic123456
Member
Gender:
Location: United States |
oh... great...
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Dec 28th, 2005 11:37 PM |
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Striding Cloud
Senior Member
Gender: Male
Location: ATing |
(only the mods can delete it)
__________________
One Missed Call!
Thnx Malk!
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Dec 28th, 2005 11:38 PM |
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hpfanatic123456
Member
Gender:
Location: United States |
how do i tell them to delete it, or do i just wait for them?
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Dec 28th, 2005 11:38 PM |
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hpfanatic123456
Member
Gender:
Location: United States |
thx espio
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Dec 28th, 2005 11:39 PM |
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