POTC Therapy Thread: Sparrabethers Anonymous for KMC Members
An idea I got from Tee_Pirategirl. We all (most likely) need some serious therapy. This is meant to be a fun POTC Group Therapy spoof for us to play with
E.g. (Written by Tee)
We need to open a sorta Sparrabethers anonymous club or somethinglike THAT'LL help)
Tee: Hi I'm tee!
Everyone: Hi Tee!
Tee: I'm addicted to Sparrabeth.
Psychiatrist lady: Now now Tee! Here we use drugs by their REAL name...that's the first step to recovery.
Tee: Fine! I'm addicted to the Elizabeth Swann and Captain Jack Sparrow pairing happy?
psychiatrist lady: not really. Now let us beging by doing an excercise...I think the main reason you all like this drug is that you find this Jack Sparrow character-
Everyone: CAPTAIN! CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow.
PL: Fine! You find this captain Jack character attractive-
Tigers: How can we not? Jack/Johnny is the most beautiful, handsome-
PL: Let's get the focus off this guy and think about something else. Like that other guy...Will was it?
T.Maria: The whelp? He has the emotional range of a teaspoon.
PL: I see some anger there. Why do you think that is?
joanjoan: I'm bored! We should go stalk Johnny now. This is stupid.
Everyone: AYE!!
PL: Wait wait! I think we should try to like the WE pairing now, it'll help you forget the JE pairing. If you just watch some clips of WE you'll change your mind-AHHHHHH! *everyone throws tomatoes at her*
Diva: We got enough WE in AWE thanks very much!
Tee: Right! Let's go see if we can find T&T and beat the crap out of them.
savvysparrowluv: OOOH! This means I can use that Jack sword replica I bought from Disney store.
Jaeh: Can we go steal Johnny's underwear after we beat the writer's up?
Everyone: HELL YAAAAAA!
Tramps: Hi! im tramps.
Everyone: Hi tramps.
Tramps: Im addicted to getting anything that johnny has touched from johnny himself everyone looks at her
Tramps: What!? its called collecting!
Psychiatrist: cant you collect something normal...like........shells?
Tramps: shells!? you exp.....Hey! Mina! come back here with my johnny saliva pillow!
Mina: Over my dead body!
Tramps: Okay! *pulls out dagger*
Psychiatrist: Okay, calm down....what has the world come to!?
Tramps: Obeying johnny!
Everyone: Amen to that!
Psychiatrist: What about beckett!? Everyone stares....10 seconds later a huge storm of laughter
Jaeh: You gotta be kidding me! Everyone throws balony at the psychiatrist
Tramps: Why the hell did are we here? we're perfectly normal!
Diva: yeah, just obsessed people!
Tramps: Mina, i want my johnny fallen into cake back!
Diva: yeah...um...i kinda ate it....
Tramps: You what!!!!!!!!????
__________________ <3 Tommy and Doug McQuaid <3 <3 21 JumpStreet <3
Gender: Female Location: at the second star to the right
Great idea! About time we all supported each other.
Willo: Hi, I'm Willo and I'm a sparrabether
All: Hi, Willo
Willo: I know I say I'm okay with willabeth and I am, but all it takes is a well written fic or a gorgeous youtube video, or just looking into Jack Sparrow's eyes and I go for this couple all over again.
Psychiatrist: Do you ever imagine yourself in the Elizabeth role?
Willo: Nope, no, usually, I just want to watch them do it.
(Everyone coughs at the bluntness of the statement)
Psychiatrist: I see.
Willo: Wish I could.
Psychiatrist: No, that's not what I mean. Um, do you fantasize about any other couples?
Willo: In the POTC world? Sometimes norribeth, but once again, all it takes is the Curiosity scene and I'm right back rooting for my couple.
Psychiatrist: Willo, I want you to look at this picture of naked James Woods for a while. That should quench any lust you feel.
(Willo makes a valiant attempt)
Willo: Ok, I've decided that you have problems. Who wants to watch DMC?
Savvy: Hi, I'm Savvysparrowluv. But everyone calls me Savvy.
Everyone: Hi Savvy.
Psychiatrist Lady: Hello Savvy, dear.
Savvy: And I'm a Sparrabether...
PL: *mumbles* Here we go...
Savvy:...as well as obsessed with anything POTC or Johnny Depp.
PL: Now, Savvy. You know the rules. We don't like to use the term "obsessed". We prefer the term "Mental Health Consumer". Okay?
Everybody: Whatever...
Tramps: I object to that statement.
Everybody: *stares*
Tramps: What? I can have an opinion, right Savvy?
Savvy: Testify my pirate sister!
PL: Now, Savvy, what do you think is the root of your obsession? Because I have a feeling that you also find this nasty dirty rogue pirate guy rather attractive, thats why you want him to pair up with Elizabeth Swann.
Savvy: Nasty? *pulls out replica sword* Oh no you didn't...
Jaeh: *pulls out replica pistol* He's not nasty! He's the hottest ...
Tramps: Dreamiest...
Diva: Gorgeous...
Tigers: Sexiest...
Tex: Manly...
Savvy: AWEsome pirate to sail the seas, lady! *brandishes sword*
Everyone: Yeah!
Willo: We don't always have to want to be Elizabeth to want Sparrabeth, you know!
Savvy: Yeah, she *does heart fingers* Completes him.
Everyone: Awwwww....
PL: Well, I can understand that you all are no doubt hard core romantics, but do you think your posistion as a mental health consumer might be due to your own lack of a similar romance?
Everyone: LETS GET HER! *beats PL with replica POTC items*
Savvy: We won't stop until you cry "Uncle Captain Jack Sparrow" Mwahaha!!!
Gender: Female Location: Drinking rum with Jack in a dingy
okay....my introduction....
LTT: Hi, my name is lovethemtigers, but just call me Tigers for short.
Pysch: And what brings you to this group, my dear?
LTT: I am a hardcore Sparrabether. It's been 5 months since the release of AWE and I still can't leave this alone. I mean, all I really wanted was to see Jack and Elizabeth make out.....and show more hot passion like they did in the Kiss of Death scene.
Pysch: Why do you think you want this so bad?
LTT: Well, to be honest, I hate to admit it...but I'm a huge Johnny fan...a "fangirl" so to speak (everyone in unison say "uhhhhh!") and just to see Johnny in a romantic role drives me crazy.
Pysch: And what are your feelings about William Turner.
LTT: Did you really have to bring his name up. WE ARE TALKING ABOUT SPARRABETH. I hate hearing the Whelp's name...in my fantasy Pirate world, he doesn't exist.
Pysch: Do you ever fantasize that you are Elizabeth?
LTT: Well, as a matter of fact I do and I imagine what it would be like to be with Captain Jack Sparrow......mostly at night when I'm in bed!
Pysch: I see....well, it's obvious you do have a problem. These meetings may help you to find release...that is if you truly want to be free from this obsession....
LTT: Well, then, that's the one million dollar question isn't? Do I really want to be rid of this obsession? Sometimes I'm convinced the answer is no...but hey the first step to recovery is admitting that you have a problem...and there is no doubt I have a problem. I eat, drink, breath and dream of Sparrabeth. every day, every night. I just can't seem to stop thinking about them...and how great AWE could have been if only.....
I really don't feel any better.......All I want is Sparrabeth and it's never going to happen! WhaaaaWhaaaa Whaaa
__________________ All my thanks to savvysparrowluv!
Gender: Female Location: May or may not be somewhere else.
*raises hand* my turn!
Jaeh: Hey, I'm Jaeh. And I'm here for my bloody therapy session. *pretends to cooperate*
Psych: So... Jaeh.. why do you think your friends brought you here? *indicates the friends who dragged her over*
Jaeh: They say that... GAH! I DON'T NEED THERAPY!
Psych: THat's the first reaction to all this dear... Denial.
Jaeh: *sighs* alright. I'm obsessed with Jack Sparrow and POTC in General. Especially Johnny Depp! I'm okay with the other ships, but Sparrabeth is like.. THE BEST! It has chemistry and the two are perfect for each other and everything else!
Psych: I see. We DO have a problem. Have you ever, tried focusing your addiction on something else? Like, Will Turner?
Jaeh: What's wrong with you? Why do you keep pushing Will on us?! The whelp is.. so.. whelp-y. Okay, I just realized how bad that sounded, but it's true!
Psych: How about Orlando Bloom?
Jaeh: Well, he's okay, but he'll never EVER get close to Johnny's status of.. hotness.. *sighs dreamily*
Psych: Have you ever tried focusing on Willabeth?
JAeh: I SAID STOP THE WHELP MADNESS! *clubs the psych with a replica pistol.. everyone joins in*
lol, I just made myself sound like a war freak. O.O
Sif: Hello, I'm Sifzensinril
Psych: welcome, Sif-what?
Sif: call me Sif, alright
PL: so what brings you here, Sif?
Sif: I'm huge fan of Sparrabeth... and I'm proud of it. I see Sparrabeth signs in many places?
PL: How can you see them if Sparrabeth isn't real couple?
Sif: I se.. Sparrabeth isn't real couple??? It's madness! Do you love Sparrabeth?
PL: No
All: *louder than PL* AYE
Sif: See, it's real
PL: Just mental health consumers like you. Have you ever thought about Willabeth ship, better that that Sparrabeth one?
Sif: I have made two wallpapers for my Willabeth friends, but I don't like Will himself and if I didn't like Will himself, because he has really stupid actions like make promises that can never fulfil, but his kissing actions are much more worse, he never kiss when he should, and his death was terrible, he had said he would die for her, it was only one promise he fulfiled, but he died for his slowness, so how can he protect her, have you ever thought about it, I could have never like Willabeth, because after all Lizzie doesn't deserve an eunuch.
All: Savvy.
PL: can you repeat it once more again and slowly?
Sif: I just thought it's me who needs your help, but if you don't understand simple words, how can you help?
---
I tried
__________________ If every town was like Tortuga, it would be easy to find Captain Jack Sparrow
A sparrabeth fanlisting
KMC Community Forums
Oct 28th, 2007 12:43 AM
All my thanks to savvysparrowluv!
