Location: United States
my books part 1
MY BOOKS... part-1... (BROKEN)
I am a new writer and I'm trying to get published. I just have no idea where to start. I know I have to get a literary agent... But, that is about it. I just would like your feedback about my first book entitiled "Broken". I will be leaving the summary and the first 2 Chapters. In part-2 I will be leaving the same for my second book entitiled "Delusions of Faith"... Please let me know what you think!
“Broken" is a sort-of tragic story about a boy, Michael Vittori's, struggle with life. Living with an abusive step-father, Jason, and drug addict mother, Marisa, Him and his brother, Matthew have to stick together in order to cope with their surreal and emotionally damaging life. Along with Michael's best friend Julian Torrelli, they must overcome the perils of life and death to keep from losing their innocence as a child. Eventually our young characters run away to live on the hard streets of New York City. There they meet a young man named Ryan who teaches them the ways of the street and introduces them to drugs and thievery. His fun times soon turn into a powerful dependency. He finds himself doing terrible things just to get high. After realizing his problem he must now cope with sobriety and falling in love. But, things turn around for the worse and hopefully he can recover from the worse phase of drug use yet.
Everything changed so quickly. Then in one quick swoop, all was lost. For her to do what she did was far beyond my comprehension. I was seven when it happened. When my mother took everything good in our lives and threw it all away.
It all started back in Jersey. I lived there for eight years with my mother Marisa, My father Vito, and my little brother Matthew Vittori. There weren’t as many problems as there is now. Back then we were happy. Even though my best friend got to live with me, our mothers where each other’s downfall of their drug use.
I've known my best friend, Julian Torrelli, since we were four years old, when our mothers were actually semi-clean, they put us both in the same daycare. We were a few months away from turning five and Mom was home taking care of Matt who just turned three. Dad was off working as usual and Mom was just lazy. So, Julian and me were the last ones to be picked up from daycare. That’s how we became friends and after a year of daycare with him our mothers unfortunately bonded. Which in our world means they shared their drugs.
The next thing I know Julian and his mother were living in our home and all I know is that it had something to do with Julian’s dad, who he has never seen, and Debra’s addiction and inability to support herself and her only son.
Things were going fine for a while. All three of us were getting along great. We hung out all day playing basketball outside on the hoop Dad built for us. Sometimes when he got home he would play with us until it got dark. He was a great dad and I wish to god that my mother hadn’t ruined it all for us.
It all went downhill when our mothers decided to go out every night and get messed up. Then got even worse when she started getting messed up in the mornings and doing nothing around the house. We all knew something was up but no one really acted on it. But dad knew. Sometimes, we would wake up to Mom and Dad screaming at each other.
“What is this shit your on?”
“It’s nothing, the doctor said it will help my nerves”
“Help your nerves? What nerves. You do nothing all day I’m working to keep us in this house and raise your friend and her child”
“Debra is alone in the world and all she has is her son and us.”
“Her life is not my problem. She’s been mooching off us… well me for years.”
“She needs help.”
“You need help… You need to lay off the drugs!”
Then there was some yelling in Italian.
“I hate you… I ****ing hate you. You make me what to kill myself!”
“Then do it... Who is stopping you?”
Things have not been the same since then. There was this tension between everyone above four feet and nobody was talking to each other. Mom and Debra slept all day and Dad had to spend a lot of days off taking care of us which eventually led to our money problems that I will explain later. As they fought Me, Matt, and Julian would sit at the bottom of the steps and listen to them until dad came and got us.
“What are you kids doing up.” He would ask with a sentimental tone.
“W-we heard you two fighting…” I answered with my head down.
He took my head in his hand and brought me in for a kiss on the forehead and sat between all three of us and put his arm around our shoulders. “I hate for you to hear this. Your mother is having problems and needs help…”
“I-I don’t un-understand” I said half crying.
“Its not your fault… But, I don’t know what will happen in the future, just bare with us and know that I love you guys.”
With that said he would kiss us on the head again and bring us to bed.
The next day was Julian’s and my tenth birthday. Mom and Debra, Julian's mother, decided to throw us a pool party. They invited a few of their friends from the book club and their kids who went to our school. The whole idea of a party was a disaster from the start. Our mothers were clearly messed up all day and couldn’t bake a cake for their lives. So, Dad took us to the ice cream store to buy Julian and me a big ice cream cake.
We had two hours to go until this party and Dad threw a bombshell on Matt and me. He pulled the car into the driveway, threw it in park, and turned to us in the backseat.
“Mikey, Matt… I got something I need to talk to you about.”
“What is it dad?” I said eagerly waiting a surprise birthday present.
“You know that your mother and I have been having our problems. Unfortunately you heard most of our fights. And I want to let you know that what I’m going to tell you isn’t because of you…”
“What is it dad?”
“Ah… Well… Your mother and I… We need to spend some time a part.”
“I can’t get into it to much with you. It’s hard to explain.”
“Well, I think you owe us an explanation.”
“I keep forgetting how smart you are”
“Well, what are we supposed to do? Just accept you leaving and get over it… We can’t live with her”, I said pointing at the house, “She's crazy… I-I’ll miss you.” I started crying
“Hey… This isn’t going to be forever. Just so we can work out our differences.”
“Whatever.” I said crossing my arms and slouching in the back.
“You know I love you guys…. And I can’t stay away from you. I’m just staying with uncle Johnny and you can come and see me anytime you want.”
I let the tears fall now and turned to look out the window. Julian and Matt where speechless and were doing the same thing.
My slamming of the door as I got out of the car cut off his sentence. I didn’t know what to think. He was leaving us alone with the crazy ***** we had to call our mother and it was all her fault. I barged into the house and looked for the scumbag who is ruining everything in my life. Like clockwork she was in the bathroom doing something I didn’t even want to know about. I banged on the door and yelled for her to open it.
“What the hell is your problem Michael!?”
“You, your ruining everything! You making dad leave us!”
“I didn’t make him do anything….” She said nodding out. “He is the one who-“
“Look at yourself!” I said cutting her off seeing how messed up she was. “Your disgusting… I HATE YOU!”
With that I slammed the door in her face and went into the kitchen to see Debra pouring potato chips into a small bowl, spilling it everywhere. I spotted Mom’s cigarettes on the table and took them. Julian and I tried smoking a few times and only did it now at nights after mom and dad fought and when we were walking in the woods. I turned to leave when my hate for Julian’s mom fill me up to the point of explosion. I put the pack in my pocket and walked towards the table where she was recklessly preparing the chips.
“Hey Mikey, need something?” She said in the same way my mother did.
I stood there and glared into her eyes clearly showing my hatred for her.
“Mikey what is it?”
“You… I hate you too!”, I took the baskets of chips and threw it at her. They flew in her face and all over the floor. The surprise caused her to stumble backwards and the drugs caused her to fall on her ass. I stormed out of the house, past my Dad, who was talking to Julian and Matt, and started running down the street towards our secret place in the woods. I didn’t even stop when they started calling my name. I just kept running as fast as my legs could take me.
I didn’t understand what was happening or how dad can leave us. What a good way to spend ones birthday, huh? I hated them both right then, but deep inside I knew my dad was right. He has been working as hard as he could and he needs some time off, especially from my mother. But, I didn’t want him to leave and I’m sure Matt and Julian didn’t want him to either.
I finally made it to the spot where we usually go to think or be alone. I got the pack out of my pocket, took out a cigarette and lit it. I slowly inhaled my first drag and exhaled with a violent cough. I didn’t care so I took another drag. One after another, after another, until the coughing stop.
I was halfway done with the cigarette when I heard Julian and Matt coming through the trees. I continued to smoke while Julian and Matt came and sat right next to me. We didn’t say anything to each other, just sat there, silent, thinking about what will happen next.
(there is more but i can't include of off due to the chracter limit)
Nov 11th, 2005 04:56 AM
Location: United States
my books part 2
MY BOOKS... part-2... (Delusions of Fatih)
This is my second book. It's more sci-fi then my previous drama... I think this one will be a little longer than broken and will take a lot of research and time to complete... Once again... I hope you enjoy... dont forget to tell me what you think
Delusions of Faith
In the vast region of Argentina there is a corporation, Quincorp IND., a company who believes they are "Above The Law". With endless cash flow and unlimited technology, they begin their research in the late 80's by abducting children to perform neurological experimentation on their brains and bodies. With the new serum Dr. Armendez Diego has created, called PHYCOSISLABIN, they plan to take control the world.
PHYCOSISLABIN is a chemical known to cause the neurons in the human brain to work more efficiently and more rapidly to stimulate all the unused areas of the brain, or to put it lightly, development of telekinesis.
One child, Alistair McRyan, escapes from the clutches of the evil organization. Clueless to his past and unknowing of his future, he is found on the doorsteps of The Zurich's great manor. Subconsciously Alistair has been sending visions of his past torment and recent tragedies to Emily Zurich's dreams. Now, suffering from amnesia and insomnia, Alistair and Emily, must pursue their unknown destiny. During their journey, Alistair begins to develop strange powers: he can move things with his mind, hear people's thoughts, and he begins to remember his long forgotten past. Suffering from flashbacks of his tormented past of endless torture, they begin to unravel the mystery, which is Alistair.
With help from Emily's connection to the FBI and Special Tactic Forces they begin a secret war on Quincorp. But, when they dig deeper into the origin of the corrupted organization they find out more then they can handle; more "experiments", more children kidnapped with the same powers as Alistair, some even more powerful. Now using Alistair's abilities and Emily's tactical skills they are forced to face their destiny with their Delusions of Faith...
January 9th 1988
Somewhere off the coast of Mar Del Plata, Argentina, Dr. Armendez Diego was up late working on his “prize-winning project”. I'm going to make millions, Diego thought, If only I can… Suddenly, his train of thought was interrupted by the chemical reaction that infused from inside the vile. The chemical mixture of the boy's blood, type-A and the antigen type-B was a perfect match. PHYCOSISLABIN will work, it's perfect. Nobel Prize here I come. Diego worked hard all night until he could perfectly fuse together the boy's blood and PHYCOSISLABIN.
PHYCOSISLABIN (SIKE CO SIS LO BIN) was a chemical Diego has been working on since he graduated med-school. It was known to cause the neurons in the human brain to work more efficiently and more rapidly to stimulate all the unused areas of the brain. The only problem was, that using an adult brain would cause in deterioration of the cells. But, a child's brain was still developing. It would make the injection be sort of a pre-pubescent additive. This way the brain would accept the added hormones and cell stimulants and wouldn't cause and over-reaction causing the cells to die out and eventually deteriorate the brain completely.
Diego turned towards the body of the 4 year old boy who was still unconscious and filled the syringe with 5ccs of the PHYCOSISLABIN liquid. When he brought the chemical to the IV, which was injected directly into the boy's brain, he paused for a bit and looked down at the body of his only son. Then plunged the needle into the IV.
It's all down hill from here…
Chapter 1: The Glow
August 19th 2004
Emily Zurich, one of the FBI’s newest recruit and special tactics agent was still training in the Washington DC facilities. She is one of the most accelerated students in her class due to her small arms weapons and tactical skills. Even her grades were no lower than A-pluses. Ever since she was five years old she would watch cops shows and detective movies and want so badly to be one of those top agents who no body messed with. But most of all she wanted a family of her own. Her father was never really around because he was always traveling the world or working in his lab for days and weeks on end.
When she was younger she had an accident during an ovarian surgery. The doctors mistakenly removed too much of her ovaries in attempt to remove a growing cyst ending with her inability to have children. But that was the last thing on her mind right now. She needed to cram for her chemistry exams.
Emily was up late reading in her Advanced Micro Chemistry book in her study when she came to the realization that her father hasn't come up from his laboratory tonight. Come to think of it, he hasn't come up for a few nights now. What the hell is he doing down there? She thought.
Dr. Alan Zurich was always working in his lab in the basement. The door was scarcely open and the red light, meaning no entry, was always on. Alan was always disoriented when he came up, like he has been up for three straight days doing nothing but mathematical equations and chemical experiments. The strangest thing was that his eyes had a greenish glow to them. They have always spooked Emily when she was younger and now even more at 23, which she just turned this past November.
Emily, still sitting in her large comfortable chair, closed her book and lit a cigarette. Emily wasn’t a person who smokes all of the time, but only when she was nervous or angry. Right now, the way her father’s behavior the last few days has put her nerves to the test. He hasn’t been acting like the same person anymore.
After each drag she stared deeply at the dim glow of the red light inside the kitchen from her long study, which was fire-lit and extremely comfortable. She thought to herself, why hasn't her father been up for the last three days? I wonder if he is ok. Maybe I should… CRASH!
A loud noise erupted from inside the kitchen. The sound startled Emily and she dropped her cigarette on the floor. Quickly she scrambled to the ground to pick up the still lit cigarette, burning herself in the process. Only leaving a small burn on the carpet she furiously wiped the spot with her hand then placed the butt into the ashtray. Slowly she made her way to the kitchen to investigate the crash.
Still shaken up, she inched her way around the corner of her study and through the threshold into the hallway that lead kitchen. The only light was that of the red bulb burning dimly in the back corner, away from everything, like it was hiding there. I bet you would have missed it if you didn’t know it was there. The scariest part about that is that’s how Dr. Zurich wanted it.
Slowly, Emily made her way past the sink and the stove, and then past the large pantry, which was over stocked with food. Moments later the red like flickered and went out and she was alone in the darkness of the kitchen. Her heart began to pound so hard she could hear it as if it was right in front of her. The pounding grew louder and louder. So loud she thought she would go deaf. Then another sound of a door opening filled the dark room. Then footsteps. Sweat began pouring down her face and lower back. She took a few steps backwards when she bumped into something. She let out a yell.
“Hey Em, It’s me.” A man said switching on the kitchen light. “What are you doing standing here in the dark?”
“Dad…” Emily finally said catching her breath. “I heard a noise, I thought maybe you were hurt.”
“No I’m fine. It was the damn cat. Tripped right over her and caught myself on some lose pots in the stairwell.”
“You sure you’re alright?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine… Just a bump.”
“Well I’m going to bed, Michael called he is coming home for the weekend.” Emily relayed glaring into his shinny green eyes.
“Oh great, how is Mikey, Still getting A’s?”
Emily hesitated for a while knowing damn well Mikey was failing two classes then finally said, “I’m sure he is doing fine.”
“It’s the Zurich genes”, He said proudly touching his daughter’s chins with his index finger and thumb “Well I’m going to bed… good night hunnie.”
“Night dad...” She said accepting his kiss on the cheek.
Emily watched as her father walked out of the kitchen and up to his wing of the estate. Still catching her breath she made herself a cup of tea and lit another cigarette...
Nov 11th, 2005 04:57 AM
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is OFF
vB code is ON
Smilies are ON
[IMG] code is ON