You ever notice how when you are attracted to someone, or when they are attracted to you, there is usually a unique and/or specific reason(s) ?
It's either his or her eyes, hair, body, smile, skin complexion, or some immediate physical trait...
And if not physical, it is either because they are into the same things you are into...they might have a sense of humor like you do, or beleive the same things you beleive, or agree with you on almost everything.
This person may be of the same culture, religion, ethnicity as you are, or they may have interests and talents that attract you.
Or this person could simply be your opposite....your other half, the part that you feel "completes" you.
....well.....
What happens with the thing that attracted you both is no longer there ?
What happens when that stud loses his abs and pecs, and trades them in for a beer guy and boobies ?
What happens when that hott chick's tetas begin to sag, or her gorgeous face begins to droop ?
What about that genius ? That smart man or woman, so intelligent, so mentally complex and powerful...starts to relax, and no longer concentrates on studies, but on the simpler pleasures of life...
What happens when that gorgeous person's eyes begin to tire ?
Or when that hilarious person begins to become boring ?
Does the Love also fade away? Is the spark gone ?
If Attraction is conditional, then is it even worth pursuing ? Think about it...what do we like about other people ? Thier eyes ? Their noses ? Thier buttocks ? Thier personality ? Thier mind ?
Things which are all temporary, things which do not last, and things which are all subject to inevitable change ?
Is Attraction really THAT fragile ?
If Attraction is based on:
1) Sex
2) The Desire not to be lonely
3) Visual/Mental/Emotional interest
Then it is truly conditional, and perhaps we give it too much value....
You seem to go to a period of disillusionment, perhaps due to having false expectations.
We tend to put a relationship on a pedestal, expecting more from it than it can deliver. When others then fail to meet our expectations, we feel betrayed or frustrated. It is important to be able to talk about expectations with one another. Together, you can fine tune them so that neither of you are trying to live up to something that is impossible.
Relationships change... you move to new phases. If a relationship is going to endure, it' s essential for the people involved to adjust to new realities.
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I am not driven by people’ s praise and I am not slowed down by people’ s criticism.
You only live once. But if you live it right, once is enough.
Make poverty history.
Stop aids, keep the promise.
They are conditional in starting, because unless there was something that put a single person above others, there is no real "relationship". But those conditions may change with a real relationship or the specific people I beleive.
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Those fought and died these long passed years, the time soon come and shed our last tears..."
All relationships are conditional, if you think about it, at least at the beginning.
How else would you get/stay into one if you didn't appreciate certain traits?
Of course that can change as the relationship progresses, because the people involved can become dependent of one another, in a way.
I believe that unconditional love (giving without wanting anything in return), that grows with time, could exist in this imperfect world, but not attraction. That is something different.
If you wouldn't have any criteria for "evaluating" people in the first place, how could you be attracted to a certain individual then? What would make him/her more special than the rest?
Unconditional Love means that you love the person the same way no matter what. Your opinions of this person do not change. Your views, perceptions, admiration, and concern for this person do not change.
You will love this person with the same loyalty, intensity, and purity that you have when you first loved them.
You will love them the same even when they age and become less physicall attractive.
You will love them the same even when thier personalities change, even in the case where they become total assholes...even to the point where they become what you perceive as evil.
You will love them the same even if you find out they are not who you thought they were....whether they are Gay, Straight, Bisexual, Virgin, non-Virgin, Peadophile, etc.
You will love them the same even when they commit murder.
You will always be there for this person....no matter what. Even in the event where he or she betrays you, or even tries to kill you, you will still love them exactly the same as if they were the same when you first fell in love with them.
Unconditional Love is completely self-less...it requires no mutuality, nothing in return...it just is, and always will be.
It is quite rare, but it exists.
I agree with most of you though...Love and Attraction are different, and Attraction cannot be unconditional....attraction has conditions by which it exists...that's what attraction is.
KMC Community Forums
Are all Attractions Conditional ?
May 15th, 2007 01:23 AM
