quote: (post)

Originally posted by HumanMovieGuide
The Justice League up against the annihilator of things livings, also known as Chuck Norris. The team get 5 hours of prep. Can they win?

Superman, Wonderwoman, Flash, Batman, Martian Manhunter, Green Lanturn, Hawk Girl

vs

Chuck Norris

If anyone isn't aware of what Norris is capable of, here's a link http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/


If you don't want to read it all, here's a list of some of his many capabilities worth mentioning.

- When doing pushup, Chuck Norris pushes himself not up, but the world down.
- CN attacks can alter your DNA.
- It's the trace elements of CN found in kryptonite that makes it so deadly to Superman.
- CN can e-mail you a roundhouse kick.
- If one CN attack comes in contact with another CN attack (there's a second Norris in a parallel dimension) it will be the end of the universe (though people claim Norris can already do this on his own).
- CN attacks can travel through time and space.
- High tides and low tides are caused by CN flying over your side of the planet. The tides are caused by God pissing his pants.
- It has been proven CN can knock you back into yesterday, and next week, and anywhere else through time (Amelia Earhart was killed by hitting someone CN sent flying over the Pacific, backwards through time).
- CN devours blackholes and souls/spirits (he might become more powerful this way).
- NOTHING can withstand a CN roundhouse kick. He knows how to get through your defenses.
- Within 3 minutes of being bitten by CN, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
- CN does not kill things. He erases them from existance.
- CN shot down a plane with his finger by yelling "Bang!".
- CN can heal people. He kills them right after to show he can give as easily as he can take.
- CN’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
- Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1 full powered CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)
(not really important but kinda funny)
- CN can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
- The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.

... and many more.

quote: (post)

Originally posted by Swanky-Tuna
Not a comic book match-up AND not funny.