No Healing Factor. No mana regeneration. No BFR. No swearing. Cussing is allowed. Fight starts in line at any DMV.
Hulk 1 is slightly half powered and has chalkboard for a weapon. He is only allowed to kick.
Hulk 2 is completely half powered and carries a bar of soap. He is missing his right foot.
Hulk 3 is almost full power. He is carrying 13 meters worth of yarn. He is also yellow.
Hulk 4 is twice as strong as Hulk 2. He cannot walk. He is in a wheelchair made of bone, fiber glass and putty. The wheels have spikes of sharpened carrots.
Hulk 5 is not completely weakened, only slightly weakened. He is mostly green, except for his arms which are completely green. He has a tool box, in it are 8 screws, a wrench, and two Capri Sun. One of them is poisonous.
Thing 1 is at double strength. However he is missing his torso. He can still speak.
Thing 2 is regular Thing.
Thing 3 is 25% stronger then 25% of 25 things at 25% of Thing's full strength. He also has a stopwatch, a marble and 5 dollars cash in 1 dollar bills.
Thing 4 looks exactly like the Hulk. He smells like him, and talks like him. He is wearing a clown suit that dispenses Jolly Ranchers every 16 seconds with a 1 in 7 chance of grape flavor.
Thing 5 is actually a turtle. He retains all of Thing's strength and intelligence. He can fly.
Thing 6 is halved in strength but is twice as fast and carries 6 hypoallergenic hamsters with adamantium fur. They can be thrown 4 times each.
Thing 7 is regular Thing. He has 5 arms. The 5th arm randomly appears and disappears. Even on another arm.
Thing 8 is carrying a ceremonial sarcophagus lid containing the power to unleash an assortment of farm animals.
Thing 9 is not in this thread.
Hmm.. in short we got 2 slightly depowered Hulks against 6 things (one double strength, one with 5 arms and a weak quick one) plus a super-turtle. The rest is pretty much trash.
Methinks the turtle makes the difference. "Thurtling" distracts one functioning Hulk while the Things smash the other. Then they stomp the other and the rest of the freakshow.
(edit) Forgot about the halfpowered kicking chalkboard Hulk. Things still win, this Hulk is taken care of by the adamantium hamsters. Trying to stomp them he hurts his foot.
Last edited by Mshinu on Oct 19th, 2009 at 12:05 PM
Thing 1 slips on Hulk 2's soap and cannot recover. Thing 3 times Hulk 2's one-foot hopping, and skillfully rolls the marble under Hulk 2's foot at just the right time to make Hulk 2 slip to the ground. Thing 5 dive-bombs Hulk 2's head for a KO. Hulk 1 kicks at Thing 7, who easily catches the kick and delivers 2 right crosses, 1 left cross, and 1 uppercut from the arm on his hip, KO'ing Hulk 1. Thing 4 fires Jolly Ranchers at Hulk 4, whom uses Hulk 1's chalkboard to deflect them. Noticing the eye-catching purple color of a grape Jolly Rancher he had deflected, Hulk 4 wheels to it, accidentally crushing Thing 5 underneath. Hulk 3 tethers Thing 5's corpse with the yarn, using him as a swinging weapon to bludgeon Thing 4 to a KO. Thing 8 uses his artifact to summon 30 goats, who eat the carrots on Hulk 4's chair. Getting carried away, they eat Hulk 4 as well. Hulk 5 gives Thing 3 and Thing 6 a Capri Sun. Thing 6 drops dead. Thing 3 is refreshed, but feels the bite of PIS and suddenly decides to leave because the Hulks are outnumbered. Against his will, he walks away, cussing. Thing 7 rips Hulk 5 apart from every limb while also punching him in the nuts. Hulk 3 hogties Thing 7 and sands Thing 7's face off with Thing 6's adamantium-furred hamsters. And then pulls Thing 7's brain out and squishes it. Things 2 and 8 cold-cock Hulk 3, and Thing 8's goats eat Hulk 3.
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Oct 19th, 2009 11:40 AM
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