KMC Forums - Batwoman vs. Catwoman

quote: (post)
Originally posted by JakeTheBank
lmao

It sounds vaguely familiar.

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Branlor Swift

Thanks bada

Warning: Weird weird stuff happens here, you have been warned

When Gamma and Thunder Become One

Hulk and his equally powerful ally Thor battle fiercely to seal Void inside a dimensional rift opened by Reed Richards. Thor and Hulk were the only ones left capable of battling the beast on equal footing, and Richards was needed to seal the portal lest all life on Earth perish.

After seemingly hours, they managed to drive the beast to the edge of the portal. Thor and Hulk both realized that one more attack would surely send him careening into the portal, and they told Richards to seal the portal. Richards abliged, and soon afterwards a combination of a thunder clap and a hammer throw forced Void uncontrollably into it... but not before he managed to grab the two exhausted warriors and bring them with him to an empty dimension where they would surely meet death. The portal soon closed afterwards behind them.

Reed had tried to open his portal, but it would need repairs as it was only meant to be used once. His friends would need to fend for themselves as he worked on a way to open the portal again.

---

Inside the portal Thor and Hulk both quickly realized that nothing was around and there was no reason to hold back anymore. While quickly tiring evermore, they shook the dimension with pure power and hatred of this black fiend. However, Void would not go quietly as he fought tooth and nail against the duo.

He was of course no match for them as they began to quickly start dismantling him piece by piece. For every limb he regrew, the duo would tear off 2. Even his superhuman ability to reform was being pushed to its brink, but he wasn't the only one. The Green Giant, and the Mulleted Blonde were being tasked by this as well, and they needed to end it fast, and it's a good thing Thor felt like showing off at that moment.

Thor had summoned up the biggest storm he could muster and unleashed storms upon the black being that had Hulk shaking in his aesthetically pleasing purple pants. When it was all over, the Void was no more.

Thor went to thank his companion for his help when they caught each other's eye longer than two heterosexual males should ever eyeball each other. The gaze was ended however when Thor noticed that the Hulk had staged his own fury in the form of a raging erection.

Thor being the nobleman he is told Hulk to "Say nothing" as he reached for Hulk's green giant.

"Hulk confused" the Hulk exclaimed. But this only ended with Thor roughly putting Hulk in a more advantageous position for his... hammer.

The ever seeing eyes of one would take notice...

This was only the beginning.

---

For a week straight the duo had made love with enough force rivaling... nay surpassing their battle of the Void. The heavens shook as gamma, lightning and other fluids covered the field.

It was pure ecstasy for two bitter rivals such as these. But even these good times would not last as even Gods and Monsters have to rest.

Thor would wake first, and he wasted no time trying to subdue the Hulk one more time. As he tickled Hulk's feet to wake him up, a portal opened with prying eyes taking notice.

Reed had fixed his machine at a time when Thor and Hulk's clothes were nowhere in site. The entire Avengers, and Fantastic Four roster were standing in disgust. Thor, not noticing at first was initially saddened of being rescued, but had to act happy when he realized what it looked like.

Thor quickly told them of their clothes not being able to withstand the Void's fury, and how they were more worried about being rescued.

Reed and the others taking notice of what looked like fully intact armor and pants chose instead to "buy" Thor's story.

Thor not wanting to talk anymore about told them a celebration was in order. And that was most certainly the end of Thor and Hulk's venture into caverns best left unexplored... certainly!

---

Later that night at the Avengers tower Thor called Hulk into the basement. He had planned to discuss with Hulk about how this could never get out.

"But Hulk think Hulk love you"

"I think I love thee too Hulk, and in a different Midgard, would even want to marry you. However, thine father would never allow this. No, stay thine tongue Hulk, please."

Hulk looked him in the eyes, and a tear came down his cheek. Thor not wanting to hurt Hulk all at once, had one more idea on his mind...

"But one more time face deep in thine anus shant hurt any."

Hulk was visibly happy.

And the eyes took notice again...

---

"SACRILEGE!"

A scream was heard while Hulk was bareback on Thor, before a lightning bolt shot out of the sky that soon followed Odin.

"I thought Heimdall was yanking my penis when he exclaimed my soon to be bastard son was engaging in gay penis sex with this green moron!"

"Odin, just as you loved wenches and things with vaginas and boobs, I love this man and his powerful worldbreaker. Deep down I always knew. Why do you think mine hammer handle as always smelled of the dark caverns?"

"Enough! I will not have my son frolicking with men! You will come to Asgard this instant, and never return to this Hel hole!"

"And if not?"

"Then I will strike you down where you stand, and end Midgard!"

"...Aye, I will come, but know you have destroyed your son this day without using your powerful spear."

And in a flash of light, they were gone.

Hulk was once again alone.

---

Many years had passed since Hulk's heart was broken. He went on to have his Banner aspect arise again. He went on never telling his friends how Thor really disappeared or how he really felt about it. No one would ever really know, except him, and the bottling of his emotions had almost driven him insane more than once.

One night in one of his nightly poetry, crying, and cutting sessions he had seen a flash of lightning strike a nearby abandoned construction site, along with the sounds he thought he heard of "Cum to me".

Could this be the love of his life returning to him? Could Thor really be here again? He would think of these questions as he jumped to the site.

Once there he found a man in a trenchcoat and no one else. He had thought he sorrow would continue to haunt him, but the man started to speak.

"Cum here you green bastard and give the God who made you scream louder than the thunder a hug!"

Hulk's heart skipped a beat, and he ran to Thor in pure joy with tears flowing out of his eyes and scooped him up kissing him all over.

"We don't have much time before my father finds out, and I want to test something on you."

But they were not quick enough.

---

A blast of lightning shortly followed a scream as Odin found his son doing unspeakable things with Mjolnir and Hulk's rump.

"I'll have to burn that hammer" he thought to himself

"If you want to stay here with this green fairy and this backwards world, then you can burn with them!"

Odin readied a blast aimed at Thor while Thor stood firm ready to take it with no defense. Hulk noticed this and pulled Mjolnir out of himself and leapt in front of the way saving Thor.

Thor was in shock that his love would do this. He knelt down to the unconscious Hulk and kissed him on the forehead. He then asked for the power to do what needs to be done while wiggling Hulk's weiner. Then he exploded... in anger!

He charged at Odin with all his might after picking up his hammer, and Hulk awoke to see his furious attack in action.

"You one eyed bastard!" Thor screamed in a high pitched kid scream.

The resulting clash was so bright it looked like a second sun in the middle of the night across the entire world. Hulk watched as two charred husks fell from the sky. He rushed over to the one he recognized as Thor. With Thor's dying breath he stated:

"Hulk... know... that I'll always... be with you... in your heart..."

Hulk sobbed like a fat kid at this point in time, for it seems he was always destined to be alone.

---

Many hours passed before Hulk stopped weeping. After he gathered some composure he looked over at Mjolnir and remembered that he was able to pick it out of his nether regions. He tried once again to pick it up, and he found that not only was he worthy of Thor's lustful eye, that he was worthy to pick up his hammer!

A flash of lightning came down on Hulk as he found himself newly dressed in hot pink spandex, and a leather jacket and leather biker hat.

But he vowed that he wouldn't be the God of Thunder... no, he would be the God of Understanding and Free Will that only one God before him knew of.

He would carry the memory of Thor around the globe without violence, only sassy arguments. He would put evil dooers in their place with a wrist slap.

He would change the world one bi-curious soul at a time.

I crack up every time.