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brandino
Senior Member
Gender:
Location: United States |
Last minute Haiku's
i came up these in my head in like 5 seconds do the same and put em down!
Old dog sitting and loving
Its face growing white its eyes dim
Old dog sleeping and dieing...
In time we shall tell
will you be there at my bridge
Lets cross together as one
there are just two i came up with in a snap of my fingers crit all you want it wont do you a bit of good 
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Jan 20th, 2005 02:02 AM |
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Syren
nee Krupnik
 Gender: Female
Location: ... just drawn that way |
Ok, first of all, well done..... Haiku's are short but stubborn  Depending on the structure you decided to use I can't really give a fair comment.... and also, no need to get so defensive straight away, the point of criticism is that it's constructive.
__________________
Why don't you do right, like some other men do?
Get out of here, get me some money too...
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Jan 20th, 2005 09:56 AM |
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Telpy
Chyld de Damnos
 Gender: Unspecified
Location: Sector ZZ plural Z alpha |
There's another thread like this alreadY!
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Jan 20th, 2005 10:09 AM |
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Syren
nee Krupnik
Gender: Female
Location: ... just drawn that way |
Where? Can we have the link please Telpz? 
__________________
Why don't you do right, like some other men do?
Get out of here, get me some money too...
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Jan 20th, 2005 11:32 AM |
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Philosophicus
Restricted
 Gender: Male
Location: South Africa Account Restricted |
OK, here are my Haiku (note: the plural of Haiku is also Haiku, not Haiku's)
Over Coffee
Over two coffees
Remarks cast shadows over
The talk of the teas
The fresco of The Last Judgment – Sistine Chapel
Shining sacredly
Onto time’s arrow – a roof
Of human judgment
The destruction of the Tribe of Ahab – Sistine Chapel
Some musing came to
Muster beneath the cyclic
Mark of human might
Notes
He publish the notes
In order to free his tone
But to capture ears
The Shy Painter
It’s southerly spaced.
As clouds gather, the painting
Dries up and departs
Light at the end of the tunnel
The end of the world:
The sun has parted – earth a
Decadent snowball…
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Jan 20th, 2005 01:11 PM |
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