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Twist On The Ribbons
Started by: Ou Be Low hoo

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Ou Be Low hoo
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Twist On The Ribbons

Twist on the ribbons,
Twirl them round and round,
Yellow, blue and upside down;
Float them, steal them, say their name,
Cherish them, love them, it's all the same;
Superflous decoration on perfect pearls,
Why the ribbon? Why not just pearls?
Too much, more and more, Stop! That's it!
No more for me, I'm feelin sick!
In the end, it's all that's needed...
A shape, a face and a voice to breathe with.

Keats, Byron, Shakespeare, Dante, et al ain't got nuthin on me. Suck it up. Plagiarise me and gain some kudos...I don't mind at all.


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Ou, Ou, Ou is all you Need...

Old Post Apr 19th, 2005 05:29 AM
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Ou Be Low hoo
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Re: Twist On The Ribbons

quote:

Twist on the ribbons,
Twirl them round and round,
Yellow, blue and upside down;


I love the simplicity of your opening lines...full of colour, shape, movement and intrigue. Great start!

quote:
Float them, steal them, say their name,
Cherish them, love them, it's all the same;


So insightful! A comment on the consumer age? Bravo!

quote:
Superflous decoration on perfect pearls,
Why the ribbon? Why not just pearls?


Such conciseness offers a wonderful contrast to the otherwise pervading vagueness. More! More!

quote:
Too much, more and more, Stop! That's it!
No more for me, I'm feelin sick!


Your repulsion is evident in these vitriolic lines, again wonderfully contrasted with an almost playful rhyming scheme! Encore!

quote:
In the end, it's all that's needed...
A shape, a face and a voice to breathe with.


Ahh...The truth lies in the beauty, eh wot? A nod to Keats in a poem he would have been proud to call his own! The final line adds a suiting reflexation on beauty and it's transcience. A simple masterpiece, if that isn't too oxymoronic for the readers...Bravo! I yearn for more!

quote:
Keats, Byron, Shakespeare, Dante, et al ain't got nuthin on me. Suck it up. Plagiarise me and gain some kudos...I don't mind at all.


I say! You certainly are quite confident in your attributes! Suffice to say, they seem well matched! Good work!


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Come, my child...Your life begins here...

Ou, Ou, Ou is all you Need...

Last edited by Ou Be Low hoo on Apr 20th, 2005 at 05:04 AM

Old Post Apr 20th, 2005 05:02 AM
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peterKSL
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lmao...


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Feel me not.. See me not.. I'm just an illusion..

Old Post Apr 20th, 2005 06:15 PM
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quote: (post)
Originally posted by peterKSL
lmao...


'Like molten amphiaster ovulating'?


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Come, my child...Your life begins here...

Ou, Ou, Ou is all you Need...

Old Post Apr 21st, 2005 04:08 AM
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Coldfire
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Gender: Female
Location: Vancouver, Canada

*shakes head* That was... definitely original, I'll give ya that...


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Old Post Apr 21st, 2005 04:59 AM
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peterKSL
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my "lmao" was at your second post... big grin


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Old Post Apr 21st, 2005 12:40 PM
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MC Mike
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Nice posts there.


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Old Post Apr 22nd, 2005 03:34 AM
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Ou Be Low hoo
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quote: (post)
Originally posted by peterKSL
my "lmao" was at your second post... big grin


You were referring that the critique is 'Like molten amphiaster ovulating'?


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Come, my child...Your life begins here...

Ou, Ou, Ou is all you Need...

Old Post Apr 22nd, 2005 04:12 AM
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