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My Poems
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Sar
sufferin' succotash!

Gender: Female
Location: my imagination

My Poems

I just thought Id post a couple of my poems up here which I wrote a while ago when I was a bit down. Ive never shown them before so please say what you think.


Silent Tears

A glance or two for appearances sake
And then her gaze drifts away to nothing
Silence an impenetrable barrier
Surrounded by disconnected sounds, words, laughter

Her sadness almost tangible to see, to sense
As each new dream stands shining and then
Falls through tears not meant to fall
Does anyone see the light dimming? Soon lost to all.


Minds Eye

Remnants of a childhood she never fit in
She huddles in corners afraid of the light
Crying all the while but no one can hear
Living in darkness while hiding from sight

Breeding a shadow as threads weave around her
Part of the pattern though ugly and marred
She can not be freed from the pasts dark clutches
The wounds in our lives leave all of us scarred

I look in the mirror. Nothing changes.


__________________
PEOPLE'S WHOLE LIVES DO PASS IN FRONT OF THEIR EYES BEFORE THEY DIE. THE PROCESS IS CALLED 'LIVING'.

(im not shouting- it was caps in the book)

Last edited by Sar on Apr 20th, 2005 at 02:11 PM

Old Post Apr 20th, 2005 02:01 PM
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peterKSL
In a different dimension

Gender: Male
Location:

excellent poems... you have great talent...

I like minds eye the best... big grin

I don't think I could find a better poem other than yours around here on KMC... big grin


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Feel me not.. See me not.. I'm just an illusion..

Old Post Apr 20th, 2005 06:11 PM
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Coldfire
<3 <3 <3

Gender: Female
Location: Vancouver, Canada

Yes, these are very good. Keep up the good work! big grin


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Old Post Apr 21st, 2005 03:27 AM
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Sar
sufferin' succotash!

Gender: Female
Location: my imagination

big grin thanks- i was a bit nervous bout putting them up. in case anybodies interested heres another. its a bit sentimental (and perhaps cliche?) but ah well here goes.


The Storm

A person struggles alone and cast away
With only memories of a peaceful bay
Over the violent waves a black storm rages
I brought myself here- we build our own cages
As despair consumes me in the midnight water
I rue the day I let my steps falter
Remembering when, with no regret
I watched without feeling the final sunset
Fear overwhelms me in words unspoken
When suddenly, darkness shatters- silence is broken
A candle flares, made brighter by the night
Guiding me through the storm, a ceaseless light
He soothes me like a gentle golden ray
I breathe in his life to see joyous day
With sunrise comes the changing of the tide
I turn and smile, my saviour by my side
A promise of hope in his outstretched hand
My troubles but shadows once cast on the sand.


All my poems are pretty short-this is the longest, but they take a while to write- i envy those who are inspired so easily! big grin


__________________
PEOPLE'S WHOLE LIVES DO PASS IN FRONT OF THEIR EYES BEFORE THEY DIE. THE PROCESS IS CALLED 'LIVING'.

(im not shouting- it was caps in the book)

Last edited by Sar on Apr 21st, 2005 at 03:26 PM

Old Post Apr 21st, 2005 03:22 PM
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Syren
dreaming

Gender: Female
Location: every which way but loose

quote: (post)
Originally posted by peterKSL
excellent poems... you have great talent...

I like minds eye the best... big grin

I don't think I could find a better poem other than yours around here on KMC... big grin


They are fantastic Sar, but I am inclined to disagree with peter on the basis that there are many poets here just as talented... it's not really fair to make such a generalisation. Personal opinion is all well and good but validation would be helpful, peter.

Sar, Mind's Eye is beautiful, I really felt the emotion, keep it up!


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ThorinWoofer

Old Post Apr 21st, 2005 09:05 PM
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Tassie
Senior Member

Gender: Female
Location:

Wow, that's really lovely! Storm's the best, Imo happy big grin

Old Post Apr 22nd, 2005 01:56 AM
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Sar
sufferin' succotash!

Gender: Female
Location: my imagination

Thanks- im glad ppl like them. i agree syren, there are lots of talented ppl on here. its great seeing other ppls styles.

anyway heres another I did in the last couple of days. its based on Shakespeares sonnet, shall i compare thee to a summers day but with a twist. let me know wot u think.

Inverted Sonnet

Shall I compare thee to a winter’s day?
The bleak stillness broken by raging storm
Rough winds do shake what token words you say
Testing the love I thought with you I’d form
For with others you seemed so warm, so fair
Yet cold beneath where non could see or sense
With my words of love and infinite care
I thought to pierce your wall of defence
But you eternal winter does not end
Nor lessen the blizzard of your gaze
For whatever efforts I do expend
Your mind remains a mystery- a maze
Do I leave you when all with us is grey?
No, for hope that things may change, here I’ll stay.


__________________
PEOPLE'S WHOLE LIVES DO PASS IN FRONT OF THEIR EYES BEFORE THEY DIE. THE PROCESS IS CALLED 'LIVING'.

(im not shouting- it was caps in the book)

Old Post Apr 23rd, 2005 01:22 PM
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Syren
dreaming

Gender: Female
Location: every which way but loose

That's fantastic Sar!! I really appreciate Shakespeare and think you've done a wonderful job in creating a directly comparative piece, brill!


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ThorinWoofer

Old Post Apr 23rd, 2005 03:28 PM
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Coldfire
<3 <3 <3

Gender: Female
Location: Vancouver, Canada

I agree with Syren! That was really neat, doing Shakespeare and all!! big grin And the other one was really good too!! big grin


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Old Post Apr 24th, 2005 03:09 AM
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Sar
sufferin' succotash!

Gender: Female
Location: my imagination

thanks- quite ironic tho cos i didnt realise it was shakespeares bday too yesterday. i really appreciate shakespeare tho so i thought id use his form in expressing some thoughts. stick out tongue


__________________
PEOPLE'S WHOLE LIVES DO PASS IN FRONT OF THEIR EYES BEFORE THEY DIE. THE PROCESS IS CALLED 'LIVING'.

(im not shouting- it was caps in the book)

Old Post Apr 24th, 2005 12:33 PM
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Sar
sufferin' succotash!

Gender: Female
Location: my imagination

Untitled

Sitting alone unable to sleep, I think
How sometimes watching a clear night sky
When all is quiet and the weather fair
You catch a glimpse in the corner of your eye

A star, faint glitter adorned by solid black
Perhaps stronger, brighter than all but few
Greater and more fierce than our perfect sun
But you look directly and it fades from view

Distance makes it appear so faint- a mirage.
For an age it appears as once it had been
Yet senses deceive- it burnt out long ago
A spectacular explosion- an end- to all unseen


__________________
PEOPLE'S WHOLE LIVES DO PASS IN FRONT OF THEIR EYES BEFORE THEY DIE. THE PROCESS IS CALLED 'LIVING'.

(im not shouting- it was caps in the book)

Old Post Apr 28th, 2005 05:04 PM
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Coldfire
<3 <3 <3

Gender: Female
Location: Vancouver, Canada

Ooooo nice!


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Old Post May 25th, 2005 05:47 AM
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