Gender: Male
Location: Over there. Maybe there, too.

I decided to create this thread to start to show my liking for some poetry..I'm not an expert, more of a beginner..

I call this one, Life


When life appears,
It shows us the way..
When life disappears,
It brings us dismay..
But when life,
Just takes it's first steps,
Like a baby learning to walk,
It becomes the beginning of a new nature.

When life brings happiness,
Things will live on..
When life brings suffering,
All things will disappear.
The flowers will wither and die,
And the dust in the sand will gather up,
Until nothing can hold it.

Then we will travel into another realm,
And be gathered up again,
As life takes it's first steps into reality.

Life..it's all a dream..



~As you all probably noticed, not alot of it rhymes. As I said, I am a beginner and am always accepting advice and compliments so i can learn to forge even more of what I want to do. Thank you for taking the time to even take a peek at this. It really means alot..~

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Gender: Female
Location: Vancouver, Canada

Well poetry isn't all about rhyming hun. I myself write many of my poems in free verse so don't worry about that

Not bad

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Gender: Male
Location: Over there. Maybe there, too.

Thanks..

I'm thinking up a new poem and will be posting it soon..

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Gender: Female
Location: Vancouver, Canada

quote: (post)

Originally posted by Spawn_Master
Thanks..

I'm thinking up a new poem and will be posting it soon..

I'll be looking forward to reading it

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Gender: Male
Location: Over there. Maybe there, too.

Alright..

This is another one about Life, but it's more influenced..

~When life looks at you,
what do you see?
Hatred? Hope?
Love or Despair?
Iron bars hold life in,
Like a hound held back by a chain.

City walls can't hide life's mistakes.
When life is brought,
There is also destruction.
Since life has no meaning,
We stand looking dull.

When you think you're alone,
Someone will show you,
How to be,
The last one standing.
They will teach you what's wrong,
And what's right.
In return,
All they ask,
Is for life.~

Gimmie a rating on what you think..

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Gender: Female
Location: Tampa

That was good 8/10

Puddin says somthing about u makin her a song sometime....can u post that? She said it was good..if you still have it.

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Gender: Male
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quote: (post)

Originally posted by Tillie
That was good 8/10

Puddin says somthing about u makin her a song sometime....can u post that? She said it was good..if you still have it.

..I did? Hmm..lemme check and see, I don't really remember

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Gender: Female
Location: Tampa

quote: (post)

Originally posted by Spawn_Master
..I did? Hmm..lemme check and see, I don't really remember

I don't know if you did, she told me ask u to post it.. it's okay if you dont find it. It's not that important.

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Gender: Male
Location: Over there. Maybe there, too.

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Gender: Female
Location: Vancouver, Canada

I would say bout 8/10 too

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Gender: Male
Location: Over there. Maybe there, too.

Thankies everyone

New one comin soon..

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Gender: Unspecified
Location:

Gender: Male
Location: Over there. Maybe there, too.

quote: (post)

Originally posted by Ritoshi
Pretty good

Damn right

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Gender: Female
Location: Canada

Gender: Female
Location: Vancouver, Canada

quote: (post)

Originally posted by Spawn_Master
Thankies everyone

New one comin soon..

yay can't wait hehe

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Gender: Male
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quote: (post)

Originally posted by Ladyluck
I had no idea you write!

Awesome stuff!

It's just my thing, hun..

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Here we go..

The Death of Me


I'l die alone,
But not for you.
The aches I feel,
In every bone,
Is bringing me down.
Everytime,
You look at me,
I say to you,
"You'll be the Death of Me".

I feel,
My heart explode,
It bends my life,
And I can't take it.
I don't want to see you waiting,
I've already gone too far away.
I don't need a friend,
Like you to heal me,
I need to mend,
Far away from here.

I'm wasting my time again,
Sitting here by the phone,
Waiting for someone to call.
Let's just take it all,
And end it sooner,
So I can say
"You'll be the Death of Me".




I'm still thinking up ideas and the next one I will post sometime within the week. Hope you like this one, but it's not much..

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Gender: Female
Location: Canada

Gender: Male
Location: Over there. Maybe there, too.

Thanks Lea..

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Gender: Female
Location: Vancouver, Canada

I thought it was good too However, one area slightly confused me:

I'll die alone,
But not for you.
The aches I feel,
In every bone,
Is bringing me down.

Should it not be

"The ache I feel,
In every bone,
Is bringing me down."

or

"The aches I feel,
In every bone,
Are bringing me down." ??

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