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PrincessNk
.Confused.
 Gender: Female
Location: Lost; in the Forest. |
 Nehaa's poems
Okay,I have to say I have never ever ever made up a poem and this is my first one.So,obiously, its not perfect..but it is my first one.so..yeah .
Hardly sure of myself.
Everytime I think about you,
You remind of nice things that we did.
Then I say to myself
Oh,why oh..why,Did I break up with you?
suddenly it reminds me,
There was a reason for the break-up.
You cheated on me!
You turned my friends against me!
You were mean to me!
I hope I did the right thing.
I hope your not hurt.
For,I am just a typical teenager
whose hardly sure of myself.
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♥♥♥
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Apr 1st, 2007 05:46 PM |
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XjainaX
goddess in training
 Gender: Female
Location: City of LIfe |
you've got your meaning but you haven't made it into a poem, there is no flow and rhythm or form. to write poetry you need to feel out your words and experiment with some different ones...
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Jaina
Trickster Goddess 
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Apr 15th, 2007 05:29 PM |
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Weeping Fairy
Senior Member
 Gender: Female
Location: listening to music |
for ur first poem i think its really really good. my first poem was shit cuz it didnt come from the heart an soul, but its obvious ur poem comes from the heart, so in that sense its good, but yea there shuld be more rythm, but i like it alot, i hope everythings ok wit wat happened in that poem cuz ive felt that pain before, an it hurts like hell lol.
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VISIT MY MYSPACE!! http://www.myspace.com/dancin_in_the_rain715
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Jun 9th, 2007 05:41 PM |
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