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chillmeistergen
Restricted
 Gender: Male
Location: United Kingdom Account Restricted |
Workman's Weekend
I've never really written poetry before, but I gave it a go. This is sort of about what many Britons are doing nowadays. Criticism welcomed.
The weekend calls and jives and whispers of fun,
Under the guise of a friend of everyone,
Always the same; this bar then the next,
Diversity's a word unheard,
Everyone seems to have too many acquaintances and too few friends,
One drink leads to the next,
Same poison different day,
It becomes a way,
Of life,
From the first drink to the last,
A chink in the chain of morality,
Words separate the days,
Every one of which is the same,
A weekend can do a lot of harm.
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"All morons hate it when you call them a moron." - Holden Caulfield
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Jun 18th, 2007 04:54 PM |
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chillmeistergen
Restricted
Gender: Male
Location: United Kingdom Account Restricted |
Is it shit?
__________________
"All morons hate it when you call them a moron." - Holden Caulfield
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Jul 10th, 2007 01:00 AM |
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vivando-loca
untitled
 Gender: Unspecified
Location: Airports to Amsterdam... |
well, i think it's good. 
not the best, but good for a first time poet.
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Jul 10th, 2007 04:07 PM |
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Weeping Fairy
Senior Member
 Gender: Female
Location: listening to music |
i agree with vivando-loca, it was really good for a first poem, i like the fact that it had a beat to it, a rythm which really makes a poem great 
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VISIT MY MYSPACE!! http://www.myspace.com/dancin_in_the_rain715
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Jul 10th, 2007 10:31 PM |
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Selphie
you teasing like you do
 Gender: Unspecified
Location: The Land of Bernie Sanders |
I liked this stanza:
Everyone seems to have too many acquaintances and too few friends,
One drink leads to the next,
Same poison different day,
It becomes a way,
Of life
It's so sadly true.
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riding high on love's true bluish light
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Dec 2nd, 2007 02:30 AM |
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chillmeistergen
Restricted
Gender: Male
Location: United Kingdom Account Restricted |
Bloody hell, I'd forgotten about this.
Thanks Selphie.
__________________
"All morons hate it when you call them a moron." - Holden Caulfield
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Dec 2nd, 2007 03:55 AM |
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Selphie
you teasing like you do
Gender: Unspecified
Location: The Land of Bernie Sanders |
Yeah of course, keep it up. If you write more, I'd love to read it.
I don't think it's shit, it isn't shit at all. I don't wanna talk about my poetry, but if you look at my earlier stuff......I've obviously matured a lot more now. Like anything, it gets better with time, and I think you are off to a great start.
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riding high on love's true bluish light
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Dec 3rd, 2007 08:11 PM |
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