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Workman's Weekend
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chillmeistergen
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Workman's Weekend

I've never really written poetry before, but I gave it a go. This is sort of about what many Britons are doing nowadays. Criticism welcomed.

The weekend calls and jives and whispers of fun,
Under the guise of a friend of everyone,

Always the same; this bar then the next,
Diversity's a word unheard,

Everyone seems to have too many acquaintances and too few friends,
One drink leads to the next,
Same poison different day,
It becomes a way,
Of life,

From the first drink to the last,
A chink in the chain of morality,

Words separate the days,
Every one of which is the same,

A weekend can do a lot of harm.


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Old Post Jun 18th, 2007 04:54 PM
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chillmeistergen
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Is it shit?


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Old Post Jul 10th, 2007 01:00 AM
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vivando-loca
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well, i think it's good. smile

not the best, but good for a first time poet.


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Old Post Jul 10th, 2007 04:07 PM
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Weeping Fairy
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i agree with vivando-loca, it was really good for a first poem, i like the fact that it had a beat to it, a rythm which really makes a poem great happy


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Old Post Jul 10th, 2007 10:31 PM
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Selphie
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I liked this stanza:

Everyone seems to have too many acquaintances and too few friends,
One drink leads to the next,
Same poison different day,
It becomes a way,
Of life


It's so sadly true.


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Old Post Dec 2nd, 2007 02:30 AM
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chillmeistergen
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Bloody hell, I'd forgotten about this.

Thanks Selphie.


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Old Post Dec 2nd, 2007 03:55 AM
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Selphie
you teasing like you do

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Yeah of course, keep it up. If you write more, I'd love to read it.

I don't think it's shit, it isn't shit at all. I don't wanna talk about my poetry, but if you look at my earlier stuff......I've obviously matured a lot more now. Like anything, it gets better with time, and I think you are off to a great start.


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Old Post Dec 3rd, 2007 08:11 PM
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