Hi I'm new around these parts. I write a lot of poetry and wanted a place to share it where I would get critique both negative and positive, and I actually used to post in the Comics section of KMC so I came back here.
I'm not going to describe my own style or anything, I'll just dive in and show one of my favourite pieces. What do you all think?
I call this Beyond.
what's on your mind god /or are you thinkin at all?
did you leave us all behind / pathetic and forgot?
Ever after Hiroshima? Did our last hero dissolve?
Or maybe you aren't there at all... tell me Neitshche was wrong
Do you not see all of those who are not strong
Who need aid
All the talk from have nots
of animal flus and despots
We get caught in various whirlwinds We merchants
of our own dissolve. No resolve, we urchins
Sit back as we pretend we've evolved.
Are your hands in your face wondering in your infinite knowledge
Where did it all go wrong?
When? In what way?
Why? On what day?
You say... and then Kneel
crushing a billion graves...
Perhaps you are like me
And are sad of your own personal behest.
Is there no version of you with breasts?
Perhaps there is but we are killing her
Perhaps you left because of your anger
Left us with poverty and weakness
Because of how we treated your mistress:
No make up could be applied, even by Yweh
To change her as every day she seems stranger and stranger
You ask yourself how your mirror images could derange her
rape her, rape her
As if we hate her
Now you hate her?
And us as well.
Did you try and try but commit suicide because of what you saw
in yourself in us when we slaughtered and stole and ****ed up and lied
These things we do...
Was this you?
Now are you gone?
Or are you not this at all.
Are you not at all you, but God.
Are you not at all with me
no matter my faith. piety.
Are you just too far beyond?
The more poetry you post, the more responses you'll get...sometimes. It's always a safe bet; the more poetry to post the more comments to expect. But people are hardly what we expect of them. They aren't the people where sometimes would naturally turn to always. So post some more poems, and maybe you'll get more people to look at you. Because if you end up waiting on people, people end up leaving you behind.
That is true, look at my thread, i had to post alot to get responces, but now i get alot, because of more poetry i post.
But the more you work at it, more you put up, more people will see your really into it and will leave comments.
Im just randomly going through things .