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James & Devon.. (Sons of Harry and Draco)
Started by: daeri

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daeri
Senior Member

Gender: Female
Location: Netherlands

James & Devon.. (Sons of Harry and Draco)

I don't really got a title..

Plot:

It's like 20 year later since book 6. Harry has a son, James, who's 16. Draco also has a son, Devon, also 16. James is in love with Devon, and Devon doesn't know he's in love too :')

Rating: I have no ****ing clue, but it's boy on boy, so I think R?


Chapter 1 - "I love you"

Chapter 2

Old Post Jul 20th, 2005 11:17 AM
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Phoenix
Luna Lovegood

Gender: Female
Location: in a double decker bus...

I think its really good! big grin My only constructive criticism is that its going a bit swiftly, its a bit confusing. Maybe slow it down a little, cut big sentences into shorter sentences, have some internal monologues going on...


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Old Post Jul 20th, 2005 03:03 PM
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daeri
Senior Member

Gender: Female
Location: Netherlands

Thanks Phoe.. finally some criticism big grin .. I already noticed that I have too little talking going on.. I'll try to change that in the next chapter.. but I'll go to Berlin first, get some new ideas and stuff, because I really do not have a clue how to go on after what Devon said.. is he going to be a daddy or not? I don't know.. depends on Felicia.

Old Post Jul 20th, 2005 03:06 PM
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DarkC
-KMC THREAD KILLER-

Gender: Male
Location: Cacapoopoopeepeeshire.

Hey, why not just copy and paste onto here?


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Bored? Amuse yourself with Tower Defense!

Old Post Jul 20th, 2005 04:45 PM
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daeri
Senior Member

Gender: Female
Location: Netherlands

quote: (post)
Originally posted by DarkCanadian
Hey, why not just copy and paste onto here?


This looks better big grin

Old Post Jul 20th, 2005 04:51 PM
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daeri
Senior Member

Gender: Female
Location: Netherlands

No one else wants to read it? sad

Old Post Jul 21st, 2005 05:23 AM
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DarkDethbringer
Kakow how you like me now

Gender: Male
Location: I cant come up with anything clever

I can't please put it on this site....


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Alas I have Returned

well for now at least,

I'm unsure if i will stay for too long

Old Post Jul 21st, 2005 05:38 AM
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DarkDethbringer
Kakow how you like me now

Gender: Male
Location: I cant come up with anything clever

oh I read it and who is pregnant?


__________________
Alas I have Returned

well for now at least,

I'm unsure if i will stay for too long

Old Post Jul 21st, 2005 05:52 AM
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misslilsweetie
I'm confoosed

Gender: Female
Location: try to find me

its great! even though i was bit disgusted about james being Gay


__________________
I'm a sweetie..don't change it by making me be angry

Old Post Jul 21st, 2005 05:16 PM
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sniper135
Junior Member

Gender:
Location: Australia

its abit disturbing but yeah it quite good

Old Post Jul 23rd, 2005 12:18 AM
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misslilsweetie
I'm confoosed

Gender: Female
Location: try to find me

when are u gonna post more


__________________
I'm a sweetie..don't change it by making me be angry

Old Post Jul 23rd, 2005 03:16 PM
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DarkDethbringer
Kakow how you like me now

Gender: Male
Location: I cant come up with anything clever

took the words out of my mouth............


__________________
Alas I have Returned

well for now at least,

I'm unsure if i will stay for too long

Old Post Jul 25th, 2005 01:50 AM
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DarkDethbringer
Kakow how you like me now

Gender: Male
Location: I cant come up with anything clever

OH FELECIA!! I did nto know who was preganant........damn starting off early.


__________________
Alas I have Returned

well for now at least,

I'm unsure if i will stay for too long

Old Post Jul 25th, 2005 01:59 AM
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daeri
Senior Member

Gender: Female
Location: Netherlands

quote: (post)
Originally posted by misslilsweetie
its great! even though i was bit disgusted about james being Gay



Did you read it well? he isn't gay, he's bisexual.. smile

Old Post Jul 25th, 2005 10:56 PM
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daeri
Senior Member

Gender: Female
Location: Netherlands

quote: (post)
Originally posted by DarkDethbringer
OH FELECIA!! I did nto know who was preganant........damn starting off early.



Yeah Felicia smile

Old Post Jul 25th, 2005 11:33 PM
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daeri
Senior Member

Gender: Female
Location: Netherlands

quote: (post)
Originally posted by misslilsweetie
when are u gonna post more


I'll try to post more this week wink .. still don't know how to go on.. embarrasment

Old Post Jul 26th, 2005 12:20 AM
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daeri
Senior Member

Gender: Female
Location: Netherlands

Ok, chapter 3 is done now! big grin

Chapter 3 - Not ready

Oh, it's rated M, because there is a little bit detailed stuff in it..

Last edited by daeri on Jul 26th, 2005 at 10:53 PM

Old Post Jul 26th, 2005 10:49 PM
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DarkDethbringer
Kakow how you like me now

Gender: Male
Location: I cant come up with anything clever

DAYMN!dude alittle graphic there....


__________________
Alas I have Returned

well for now at least,

I'm unsure if i will stay for too long

Old Post Jul 26th, 2005 11:51 PM
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daeri
Senior Member

Gender: Female
Location: Netherlands

I'm a girl.. wink and if you don't like it, just don't read wink

Old Post Jul 27th, 2005 09:26 AM
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DarkDethbringer
Kakow how you like me now

Gender: Male
Location: I cant come up with anything clever

I didn't say I didn't like it dude I just said it was a little well.....(and i call everyone dude)


__________________
Alas I have Returned

well for now at least,

I'm unsure if i will stay for too long

Old Post Jul 27th, 2005 11:15 AM
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