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Harry Potter and the Battle with Voldemort
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Scotty Brockman
My hearts lost n Darkness

Gender: Male
Location: In my Heart Fighting the darkness

Harry Potter and the Battle with Voldemort

Harry Potter and the Battle with Voldemort

Chapter 1
The final stay with the Dursleys.

It was two days right before Harry’s birthday and Harry was tired of being in the Dursley’s household. He had an headache from hearing his Aunt yelling at him because he got up late. “ God you give me a headache” Harry said coldly to himself. He would love to say this to his Aunt but if he did it would cause another feud and he didn’t want that so he shut up. He still couldn’t believe that Dumbledore was gone, without him, Harry didn’t really know what to do but to destroy the Horcrux‘s. Harry decided to forget about it right now because he decided to enjoy the weather while it lasted. It was a warm day and it was expected to turn cold tonight and stay cold for the next week.

So instead of going out around the neighborhood he had no choice but to remain in the house for the next day. “ Man I’m tired of staying in this house, I’ve been here long enough, I wish it was my birthday was today so I can leave” Harry said to himself. He was holding a piece of parchment in his hand that was a letter by his best friend Ron.
Dear Harry,
What are you doing? I’m just writing to you to tell you that I asked my dad to come and get you around noon tomorrow by appeariation. I’m also coming to. So send an yes so we can come and get you.
Love, Ron
Ron
Harry quickly send an yes to Ron and was excited that he would soon be leaving the Dursleys forever. He then glanced at the alarm clock to see what time it was 11:50 he was excited because he would be of age in ten minutes.

Meanwhile at the graveyard site where Cedric was murdered by Peter Pettigrew on Voldemort’s orders, Voldemort was in his large room waiting for Snape to return in fetching Malfoy. “ I’m growing impatient, Nagini” Voldemort hissed coldly. Just then the sound of someone knocking on the door filled the air. “ Come in” Voldemort hissed. “ My lord, I’m sorry about taking so long to get Malfoy, my apologies” Snape said. “ Go now I wish to talk to Malfoy alone” Voldemort said. “ Yes master, as you wish” Snape said bowing to Voldemort then he left Malfoy alone with Voldemort. “ My lord I’m sorry-” Malfoy said. “ YOU ARE TO BE QUIET UNTIL I FINISH, UNDERSTAND” Voldemort yelled coldly. “ How could you not kill Dumbledore, he was defenseless, all you had to do was kill him and this conversation would have not been like this” Voldemort said. “ I know why you didn’t kill him, you were scared, were you not” Voldemort said? “ Yes” Malfoy said.

“ Crucio” Voldemort yelled. As soon as he said it Malfoy rolled around the ground shaking and screaming. Then Voldemort moved his wand away from Malfoy and said “ next time you will die, understand?” “ Yes, master thank you for sparing me” Malfoy squeaked. “ Go, I wish to be left alone for now” Voldemort said coldly.

Malfoy left to leave his master alone so he could think of how to kill Harry Potter. “ What did he say” Snape asked? “ He is mad at me right now, so I expect a punishment tomorrow, for me” Malfoy said. “ I’ll talk to him and see if I can make him go easy on you: Snape said.

Old Post Mar 29th, 2006 10:38 AM
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xEsaulx
Bringer of Life

Gender: Male
Location: The Land of Quar

Ron wouldn't say Love Ron, and Rowling didn't put any religion in her books. Also it's too face paced. Try starting over, and slowing down. if you are going to have a point of view with Voldemort, then you could either, not have harry in the beginning, since what you had wasn't important, or save him for another chapter wink


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Old Post Mar 29th, 2006 11:12 AM
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Scotty Brockman
My hearts lost n Darkness

Gender: Male
Location: In my Heart Fighting the darkness

thanks for the post I thought that ron wouldnt say that I was in a hurry.
as for religion what do you mean?


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Thanks H. S. 6 for making SIG and special thanks to Lana for helping me fix problem

Old Post Mar 29th, 2006 11:19 AM
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xEsaulx
Bringer of Life

Gender: Male
Location: The Land of Quar

lol, that's alright.

quote:
“ God you give me a headache”


I mean that. Rowling wouldn't make Harry say that at all. wink


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Old Post Mar 30th, 2006 12:38 AM
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TigerEyes
Immortal soldier

Gender: Female
Location: Canada.

i disagree with the religion thing...ROn said bloody hell...thats a religious thing so saying god isn't wrong and it's his story so techinicallywho cares if it doesn't follow rowling.
But i do agree you should have started with voldermort nad slowed everyhting down.


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MANSON concert on the 17th of feb was Amazing! BEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN!

Old Post Mar 30th, 2006 06:05 PM
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Barker
Thorin Fan Club President

Gender: Male
Location: Barkdonald's Inc. OMFGPlulz: dunt

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Esaul
lol, that's alright.



I mean that. Rowling wouldn't make Harry say that at all. wink

Stuff like that is littered all over HBP.

Hermione says "Oh my God!" when the Owls are coming with OWL results.

Harry says "God, I've been stupid" when he figures out Malfoy and the Polyjuice Potion thing.


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please respond to my PM Thorin

Old Post Mar 31st, 2006 12:22 AM
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xEsaulx
Bringer of Life

Gender: Male
Location: The Land of Quar

they aren't implying God in that way though.

quote:
“ God you give me a headache”


That is different than saying bloody hell "Oh my God!" and "God, I've been stupid"


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Old Post Mar 31st, 2006 12:41 AM
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Scotty Brockman
My hearts lost n Darkness

Gender: Male
Location: In my Heart Fighting the darkness

Alright just letting you all know Im deleteing this story and Im going to restart again slower hopefully


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Thanks H. S. 6 for making SIG and special thanks to Lana for helping me fix problem

Old Post Mar 31st, 2006 01:47 AM
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~Dark_Dan_Fan~
Slytherin_Gryffindor

Gender: Female
Location: On earth or am I...

Yeah I think u should restart! but dont take out things like God You give me a headache and I have a question for you Esaul how is God you give me a headache and God ive been dumb different???


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Huh...What¿?¿?

Old Post Apr 1st, 2006 03:32 AM
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Scotty Brockman
My hearts lost n Darkness

Gender: Male
Location: In my Heart Fighting the darkness

i restarted ok its on a new thread called A final Battle with Voldemort


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Thanks H. S. 6 for making SIG and special thanks to Lana for helping me fix problem

Old Post Apr 1st, 2006 05:04 AM
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Barker
Thorin Fan Club President

Gender: Male
Location: Barkdonald's Inc. OMFGPlulz: dunt

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Esaul
they aren't implying God in that way though.



That is different than saying bloody hell "Oh my God!" and "God, I've been stupid"

... That's exactly how I meant it mad

stick out tongue


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please respond to my PM Thorin

Old Post Apr 1st, 2006 05:54 AM
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Scotty Brockman
My hearts lost n Darkness

Gender: Male
Location: In my Heart Fighting the darkness

Ok, My story is on the new thread so dont post on here anymore ok thanks

P.S. Comment on my new story


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Thanks H. S. 6 for making SIG and special thanks to Lana for helping me fix problem

Old Post Apr 2nd, 2006 04:58 AM
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Scotty Brockman
My hearts lost n Darkness

Gender: Male
Location: In my Heart Fighting the darkness

I've noticed that no one doesn't care about the new story cause this one sucked well I'm telling you'll who justy read this the new one is a lot better so far three people said so.


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Thanks H. S. 6 for making SIG and special thanks to Lana for helping me fix problem

Old Post Apr 2nd, 2006 09:19 PM
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