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Superdog37
Member
 Gender: Female
Location: Why do you want to know? |
 Harry Potter and the Elites
A/N: Hey guys, I'm back at this forum. I know I completely stopped my first story but this one is much better. I actually have a lay out and the first thee chapter written just not typed, so it should go pretty smoothly. Anyway this is an action/adventure with a romance in it. The parings are Harry/Ginny and Ron/Hermione. Also it has original characters in it, so if you don't like that then you've been warned. I don't think they are Mary sues but, I'm not the best judge. And this is written at the start of the summer after Harry's fifth year, so book six is disregarded. Anyway on to the story. 
Prologue: The Elites
It was pitch-black out side, you could bearly see your hand in front of your face, and the downpour that was falling wasn’t making the conditions any better. However despite it all, there were eight people still standing tall, side by side, facing an army of about one hundred. This battle will decide the war, for the source of evil had come out of his hiding place. He had been found and now had to face The Elites, soldiers so strong and powerful, that they had even him shaken. This ultimate battle will decide the cold war, a war that had been going on for more than ten years, a war that broke families apart, a war that striped parents from their children and children from their parents. These eight soldiers, these elites, will bring peace to the world.
Lord Zarok stood at his front line feeling, rather than seeing, the elites’ presence. He knew them very well. He knew their strengths and weaknesses. He knew that Jessie Jones a.k.a. Jockie, was more of a medic than anything more, and that Gerald Crooks a.k.a. Gear, was they’re not only to get their gear but to figure out their odds of winning the battle. He knew that Jason Richards a.k.a. Snake, and Amy Richards a.k.a. Rose were the sharp shooters or snipers. He knew that Chris Watson a.k.a. Cannon, was Amy’s brother, and that he and Tony Brooks a.k.a. Tank were the power houses using weapons like bombs and bazookas. He also knew that Mike Carson a.k.a. The Reaper was second only to Allie James a.k.a. The White Devil, who was the most powerful of them all, she was the leader of the elites. He knew that Allie trained them to fight like muggles did, with guns and swords. But not ordinary swords, swords that had spells cast on them to block curses like a shield. He knew all of this because he faced them for over nine years, in this war, and now he was finally ready to step up and finish them off. Destroy the elites forever. He knew their strategy, and he finally figured out their weak link. It was Gerald Crooks, or Gear, if he took him out they would be left without any way of knowing how long to stay on the field, plus he was the weakest, nothing but brains, and brains cant save you from the killing curse. ‘Yes’ he thought ‘I will disconnect them from their precious army. They will have no way to contact for backup. Eight people against my forces are dead before the battle even starts.’
* on the other side of the field *
“You guys ready to die?” asked Allie.
“You know we are D” answered Chris.
“Okay then, here’s how we are going to attack. Before the first sign of light I want Rose and Snake to get to their positions. Find a place where you can see his whole army, and as soon as you are able to see them I want you to fire, fire at will, you got it.”Allie asked Snake and Rose
“Yeah, we got it” they answered after a brief glance at each other to confirm that they were ready.
“ Then when his army gets near enough I want you, Tank and Cannon, to fire your bazookas. I want no more than three rockets each. You got that?”
“Why” asked Cannon “we can kill off most of his forces with the bazookas”
“Because he wants to test us. Thinks he has a way of defeating us. I want to show him that it’s not how powerful a weapon you have, its how powerful the worrier wielding it that matters. I want him to die by my hand, not a bullet or rocket. I want his blood to feed my sword, Understood?” replied Allie.
“Understood”
“Moving on, Gear and Jockie I want you to put a strong shield around yourselves, if I am correct, than he will try taking one of you out to weaken us. I want him to fail, to see that I am ten steps ahead of him”
“But wont that risk our communication when we need to call for backup” asked Jockie.
“We won’t be calling for backup. We are the Elites, we stand and fight alone. We will humiliate him, and we don’t need backup. Am I understood?” asked Allie
“Yeah” answered Gear and Jockie with a look of concerned determination in their eyes.
“So, after Tank and Cannon fire their three rockets, me and Mike will go in.” Said Allie “Gear do a quick calculation for me, if everything goes as planned then how many of them will we have to kill by sword?”
“This is a rough calculation, but I’ll say about forty maybe thirty” he answered
“Ok, so after the bazookas are shot me and Mike will go in and Tank and Cannon will follow. Snake and Rose will keep their positions and keep firing at them, and Jockie and Gear you will feed us the information and come in should one of us fall. Everyone got it?”
“Yeah”
“Uh ha”
“Yes”
“Understood” were the replies she got.
“Any objections?” Allie asked looking around at her army.
“Yeah, you do know this is suicidal don’t you?” asked Mike with a smile forming on his lips.
“Yes, but isn’t that what makes it fun” answered Allie with a smile on. Everyone started nodding their heads and smiling at the thought that after this, suicidal battle, they were finally going to avenge their lost friends and family members, while ridding the world of this evil once and for all.
A/N: So there is the first part of chapter one which really is the prologue. I hope you guys liked it, and the way you can tell me if you did or didn't is by reviewing. So PLZ review!!!!  
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Mar 13th, 2007 03:01 AM |
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Superdog37
Member
Gender: Female
Location: Why do you want to know? |
A/N:OK I won't post anymore if there are no reviews after this time. So if there was anybody that liked it PLZ post. Anyway here is the second part of the Prologue, It's long but if you like the story you should read it and REVIEW!!!
As Snake and Rose ran half crouching to places where they will be able to see Zarok’s whole army, but won’t be seen themselves, Allie began to cast complex shield charms around Gear and Jockie. A clear blue force field formed around the two of them, and she knew that the shield was up. Gear took out his map and projected a 3D model of the battle field over it so that everyone could see. He then turned to Tony and Chris and showed them the best places for them. They nodded their understanding and turned to look into the never-ending darkness. They were concentrating on everyone they lost at the hands of their enemy. Meanwhile Allie was talking to Gear to make sure he understood that their will be no back up, no matter what.
“But Allie, I don’t understand why you don’t want any back up” asked a still confused Gerald.
“Because G, this is what we’ve trained for. All those hours, days, of working out. Those thousands of sit ups, and push up, and miles ran. This is why I ran you guys so hard. Why I drilled this strategy into you skulls. This is why I did all of that. This war drove us to grow up when we were barely kids, I’m not about to hand everything we did to some military general looking to up his career on our backs.” replied Allie.
“Plus” interjected Mike “we are doing this for all our fallen comrades. For every elite that fell in battle. Like your brother Gear, remember Rick? That is why we are fighting without back up. We are going to prove to him that we are stronger even when out numbered. Or we’ll die trying.”
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A little over ten minutes after that the sun began rising, and with it the darkness. Figures cloaked in black, with a golden Z embedded in the front of they’re otherwise all black uniform appeared, their wands at ready looking at the now six elites. About a mile away looking dead on at the 100 enemy soldiers stood the tall and proud Elites. They were dressed in all white, from the white boots, to the cargo pants, to the shirts and dragon hide vests. The only thing that was not white was the silver wolf and the word elites that was written across the back of their white cloaks. Both armies stood like that looking at each other for several seconds before the first shot was heard. With that first shot both armies were awakened and started moving toward each other. Lord Zarok’s army was throwing every spell, dark or otherwise, at the Elites. However, with the distance between them no spell was able to penetrate the elites’ shields. As both armies were moving closer you could see members of Zarok’s army falling as Rose and Snake were shooting at them.
As Zarok’s army got near enough Tank and Cannon ran faster and moved forward to their positions in order to fire their rockets. Two consecutive ‘BOOMS’ were heard as the rockets connected with the enemy’s army and the ground shook as they exploded. Enemy soldiers could be seen flying through the air when the rockets blew up.
After the initial blasts Zarok’s army split up into smaller groups rather than moving forward as one unit, which reduced their casualty count when a rocket hit. As the last two rockets were shot Allie and Mike pulled out their swords and began running straight toward the opposing army. As they were getting closer more and more spells were being shot at them and they had to use their swords for protection rather than just relying on their vests. Still they were hit by minor hexes and curses, such as the cutting hex. As they reached the nearest enemy, Allie activated her disillusion spell that was encoded into everyone’s uniform. To her opponent it appeared as if she turned invisible right in front of his eyes. So he never saw it coming when two swords were plunged deep into his gut, and then quickly pulled out. He fell face first to the ground as the warrior that just struck him moved onto her next victim. Mike had yet to activate his disillusion spell so he was currently battling with three enemy soldiers. He quickly ducked out of the way of a killing curse that struck one of his enemies leaving him with two to deal with. As he was crouching, he kicked the legs out from one of his opponents and shot him in the head, then he quickly rolled out of the way of yet another killing curse cast by his last remaining opponent. He dodged several other curses before he was finally able to throw a knife at his opponent’s throat. His opponent tried to duck the knife but still ended up in his head as he went down. Tank and Cannon were just joining the battle, their two-handed swords held firmly as they swung at their opponents middle killing them effectively.
The battle had been going on for some time, and Zarok’s forces were lowered down to a meager 30 when the elites suffered their first casualty. Cannon had been hit by killing curse, and was now laying dead on the ground.
Gear and Jockie saw that the elites count was lowered from eight to seven, and quickly saw that Cannon was dead.
“You ready to go in Jockie?” asked Gear as he looked over at her.
“Yeah” answered Jockie as she pulled out her two .45 caliber pistols “I’m ready”
“Ok then, go, and good luck”
“Thanks”
Jessie Jones was running toward the battle with tears in her eyes. As soon as the first one fell, she fired her first shot and hit the nearest enemy in the back of the head. When Zarok’s army heard the gun shot and saw their comrade fall they turned around and immediately started firing spells at the newcomer to the battle. Jockie managed to dodge most of them and her shield blocked the rest. She quickly dispersed of her five opponents with her two guns, and moved to go deeper into the battle.
Gear was still safe behind his shield and was feeding everyone the information.
“Allie, Cannon fell and I’ve just sent Jockie in” he told Allie via a communication spell.
“Ok Gear. How many more do we have?”
“Right now you have about 25 more. A couple more and you should go after Zarok, Allie” he suggested.
“Yeah, I know, but the bastard is sitting off to the side protected by his most faithful, and I cant leave the guys at an even bigger disadvantage to go after him. Maybe if we get them down to ten or even fifteen I’ll be able to kill him.”
“Allie, what if I joined the battle. Couldn’t you go after him then?”
“Yeah, but do you really want to? It’s pretty bad in here”
“Hey am I an elite or what?”
“Fine, you want to come in then come but don’t blame me if you get killed.”
“I wont, as long as you kill Zarok”
“Ok, just get in here already”
And with that Gear took out in a full sprint toward the battle. He took out his 9 millimeter when an enemy jumped out of the surrounding woods. He dodged a killing curse and fired aiming for his opponent’s throat. It struck dead on and blood could be seen flying all over the place. He shudered at the disgust of it, then took out in full run again to join the battle. He got in there and started firing at his nearest enemies. They fell, and he moved on, his prior disgust forgotten.
As he got toward the middle, he saw Allie and started running toward her. As he reached her, he shot her primary opponent in the head and told her to go on and find Zarok. She nodded her head and ran toward the dark lord himself. She killed anyone who got in her way till she finally reached him.
“Hey old man, how do you like the show” she yelled effectively getting Zarok’s attention.
He turned his fire red eyes on her and said “I see you’ve finally came to challenge me. Although I don’t know why you would like to die so soon” as he said this he shot three killing curses at Allie in quick succession. She dodged them all with apparent ease , and for the first time in the battle fired one back. Zarok was caught by surprise, but none the less dodged it. And so the battle between the two of them started. Both of them firing and dodging spells quickly and effectively, till Zarok’s exhaustion was apparent. When Allie saw him breathing deeply she quickly took advantage of it. She appearated behind him and plunged her left sword through his middle, while her right was at his throat.
“It has been fun old man, but I must say goodbye” as she said this she slit his throat and killed the all powerful Dark Lord Zarok. As he fell so did the rest of his followers, all dead and the war finally over.
She stood their covered in blood, staring at the now dead dark lord when Tank and Mike joined her.
“You slit his throat, nice” commented Mike.
“Where are Jockie and Gear?” asked Allie.
“They are dead” came the reply from Rose, as she and Snake joined the other three.
“Damn” said Allie anger apparent in her eyes “ I knew I shouldn’t have let them join the battle”
“Hey, if they hadn’t, you wouldn’t have been able to get to Zarok, so don’t blame yourself. They died honorably in battle, and will be remembered for it.” said Snake as he placed an arm around his wife, Rose.
“Yeah” said Rose “Besides it’s what they wanted to do and were trained for, we’ll miss them but lets go tell the world that Zarok is gone, and then go on vacation and celebrate all the soldiers we lost in this war”
A/N:I know that this is LONG, but I wanted to get it up so I would you know if you guys wanted me to keep posting. There is a third part to the prologue and if you want to read it then you have to REVIEW!!!! PLZZZ!!!
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Mar 18th, 2007 04:06 AM |
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xEsaulx
Bringer of Life
 Gender: Male
Location: The Land of Quar |
I've read part of your first post. It is very interesting. I am liking it though I think you could do better if you actually made this into an original work of fiction and take out the few Harry Potter elements that you have out, like how you used muggle.
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Mar 29th, 2007 12:18 AM |
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Superdog37
Member
Gender: Female
Location: Why do you want to know? |
I get what you are saying, it's just that as you get to read more of the story you'll see that without the Harry Potter stuff in it, it would feel like a weak copy of Harry Potter. I originally thought about writing it as my original work but it wasn't good, and it felt like a copy. So I incorporated Harry Potter in it and as you read on you will see that it is really good, and a Harry Potter fanfiction story. However since you are the only one that reviewed I'll stop posting here, but if you or anyone else want to continue to read it, the first three chapters are up at Harrypotterfanfiction.com under the name The Elites and my author name is Super_monkey037, so if you want to continue reading please do, and thank you for reviewing.
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Apr 4th, 2007 01:25 AM |
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xEsaulx
Bringer of Life
Gender: Male
Location: The Land of Quar |
I'll make sure to do that. And I don't think it's that weak at all from just reading the section I'm at. 
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Apr 4th, 2007 11:54 PM |
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Superdog37
Member
Gender: Female
Location: Why do you want to know? |
I wasn't saying that the story would be weak. What I was trying to explain was that even if I made it in to an original work it would still use alot of the Harry Potter magic that J.K. Rowling created. So what it would seem like I was trying to copy what she did, and if compaired to the Harry Potter series it would seem like a weak copy. But thanks for saying that you didn't think it was a weak story and I hope that you really do continue reading it.
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Apr 5th, 2007 02:26 AM |
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xEsaulx
Bringer of Life
Gender: Male
Location: The Land of Quar |
Oh sorry I misunderstood
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Apr 5th, 2007 02:53 AM |
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Superdog37
Member
Gender: Female
Location: Why do you want to know? |
Thats ok, I was just trying to clear it up for you.
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May 16th, 2007 03:29 AM |
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