KMC Forums - The 16 rules off survival on the Poseidon

1) Someone is in your group who has been on Navy destroyers. He can dive four storeys into a pool of water that no-one knows how deep it is, swims under the burning pool of water and come up the other side all the while tied to the longest fire hose in existence.
2) An ex-firefighter (and ex-mayor) is also in your group who can hold onto a loop of steel (while his daughter is holding onto him) and uses the previously mentioned firehose as a flying-fox and rescue said daughter.
3) A suicidal gay architect reveals to your group that cruise liners were not built to be up-side down.
4) You are on a cruise liner captained by the stupidest captain ever to sail on the open seas. You are encouraged to stay in a ballroom by the captain even though both you and he can see fish swimming on the other side of the windows. As you start to panic he calms you down by saying "We have been hit by a 'Rogue wave'. They are unpredictable and lethal".
5) You have got good odds for survival as you became caucasion before stepping on board.
6) You also became either a) a male or b) a young female that looks the same as the other females in your group.
7) You are not a fat Jewish woman on her way to Israel to see her grandson and you have never been the underwater swimming champ of New York not once, let alone 3 times.
8) You have increased your chances tenfold if you are not an employee.
9) It's good luck to travel with a priest.
10) You decide against wearing those silver platform shoes to the New Years Eve bash.
11) You hit your head underwater and it is getting a bit dicey but you are comforted that both the Navy man and the ex-firefighter should know CPR.
12) You are hanging for your life in an elevator shaft. Take comfort in the knowledge that you got the phone number of that gorgeous waiter recorded in your phone. Even better he is holding onto your leg. Oh wait! Didn't you throw your phone overboard? Oh well, better kick that hunky waiter off your leg then!
13) Oh oh! On the form you received while boarding you ticked 'Ex-prostitute' instead of 'Secretary' in the former occupation box.
14) Even though you you have no idea what is going to happen at the stroke of midnight you go by the old Boy Scout creed of "Be prepared'. Therefore you decide on a flattering yet easily adaptable outfit for climbing and swimming.
15) You decide to leave your son at home as he has a tendency to get caught on up-side down baby grand piano's and, inexplicably, gets stuck in cages where he has no memory of getting into. It's better to leave him home anyway as he tends to wander down halls of stricken vessels without permission.
16) If you are religious, Adios amigo!!!!