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The 100 Greatest Quotes from Fundamentalist Christian Chat Rooms
Started by: Zeal Ex Nihilo

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Zeal Ex Nihilo
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The 100 Greatest Quotes from Fundamentalist Christian Chat Rooms

http://www.fstdt.com/fundies/top100.aspx?archive=1

quote:
Gravity: Doesn't exist. If items of mass had any impact of others, then mountains should have people orbiting them. Or the space shuttle in space should have the astronauts orbiting it. Of course, that's just the tip of the gravity myth. Think about it. Scientists want us to believe that the sun has a gravitation pull strong enough to keep a planet like neptune or pluto in orbit, but then it's not strong enough to keep the moon in orbit? Why is that? What I believe is going on here is this: These objects in space have yet to receive mans touch, and thus have no sin to weigh them down. This isn't the case for earth, where we see the impact of transfered sin to material objects. The more sin, the heavier something is.

quote:
I am a bit troubled. I believe my son has a girlfriend, because she left a dirty magazine with men in it under his bed. My son is only 16 and I really don't think he's ready to date yet. What's worse is that he's sneaking some girl to his room behind my back. I need help, God! I want my son to stop being so secretive!

quote:
[about a girl being born with mental disabilities]

This girl is like a leper so what she needs to do is try and find god

if she really believes she can be healed from this state, she will be healed from this state

Most afflictions like this are caused by sins committed while still inside the womb. If she can repent for what she does god will embrace her and make her as human as you or me but if she chooses not to she'll always be like this

god tests every one of us [emphasis added]

quote:

Yes, that is a great company. I bought one of their large print version (old eyes... what can I say?).

The only thing I don't like about them is they sell foreign language versions of the KJB. I don't think that's right. We know the only true translation is the 1600's version in English.

It's too risky for anybody to translate that into other languages. Mistakes can creep in... and that can lead to heresy. True Christians should only read English.

quote:
[Replying to 'as for not seeing evolution it takes several million years... incase you missed that memo...']

several million years for a monkey to turn into a man. oh wait thats right. monkeys dont live several million years.

quote:
Seriously, does anybody ever cry at an Atheist's funeral?

I mean, since Atheists have no value whatsoever as human
beings (they're not even human, but only inhuman animals),
since Atheists are nothing but miserable Liars, Cowards
and Murderers, after all, why would anybody in their
right mind weep over the dead rotting corpse, or bone
chips and ashes (that get mixed together with those of
others from the crematory) of a worthless dead Atheist?

And what epitaph do you engrave on an Atheist's grave
marker? "Here lies the only good Atheist, which is a
dead Atheist". What else is there say? Nothing at all.
No last words, no last rites, no flowers, no anything.

Every time an Atheist dies, the world is better off as
a result of that dead Atheist being dead, & its damned
God-forsaken soul burning in the fiery pits of Hades. smile

Which begs another related question, do Atheists cry at
funerals? If so, why? Since Atheists hate God, and they
hate Family, and they hate Country, who are they crying
for? It is true: The only good Atheist is a dead Atheist.

quote:
The only solution we have to stop gays from recruiting other people is to cut off the source. They need to be taken to specialized containment centers where they will be forced to become straight and accept Jesus as thier savior and to repent from their disgusting, wicket, hatful, devilish ways. Those that refuse to go can either be forced, or banished from society in other specialized communities where they have no connetion to the outside world at all. Most would die of AIDS anyway. Anyone who refused any of the answers to make them better would have to be killed or banished.

quote:
The word of God has been in heaven forever. The KJV has always been there. The so called Hebrew words like Alleluia are English words. The English did not borrow them from the Hebrew but rather the Hebrew borrowed them from the English. If the KJV has always been there and is the original word of God then there is no other conclusion. The same can be said for any so called Greek words that were borrowed from the Greek or transliterated. It is a matter of what bias you approach this particular subject.

quote:
Me and like-minded Christian students are trying to organize a mock stoning of openly gay students at our campus. We will be using crumpled up gray/brown construction paper to represent rocks, and will recite bible verses in opposition to their sinful nature. We will throw a volley or two of these "rocks" at every Gay person we happen to encounter that day.

quote:
[Talking about an eleven year old girl who was raped and then buried alive]

god was sacrificing this child as a way to show others the light. much as he did his own child. what a beautiful gift he has given us.


Discuss this comedy gold. (Oh, sure, a lot of it is clearly just trolling, but that last one made me laugh really, really hard.)


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Last edited by Zeal Ex Nihilo on Apr 8th, 2008 at 11:25 AM

Old Post Apr 8th, 2008 11:21 AM
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Da Pittman
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quote:
Seriously, does anybody ever cry at an Atheist's funeral?

I mean, since Atheists have no value whatsoever as human
beings (they're not even human, but only inhuman animals),
since Atheists are nothing but miserable Liars, Cowards
and Murderers, after all, why would anybody in their
right mind weep over the dead rotting corpse, or bone
chips and ashes (that get mixed together with those of
others from the crematory) of a worthless dead Atheist?

And what epitaph do you engrave on an Atheist's grave
marker? "Here lies the only good Atheist, which is a
dead Atheist". What else is there say? Nothing at all.
No last words, no last rites, no flowers, no anything.

Every time an Atheist dies, the world is better off as
a result of that dead Atheist being dead, & its damned
God-forsaken soul burning in the fiery pits of Hades. smile

Which begs another related question, do Atheists cry at
funerals? If so, why? Since Atheists hate God, and they
hate Family, and they hate Country, who are they crying
for? It is true: The only good Atheist is a dead Atheist.
quote:
Gravity: Doesn't exist. If items of mass had any impact of others, then mountains should have people orbiting them. Or the space shuttle in space should have the astronauts orbiting it. Of course, that's just the tip of the gravity myth. Think about it. Scientists want us to believe that the sun has a gravitation pull strong enough to keep a planet like neptune or pluto in orbit, but then it's not strong enough to keep the moon in orbit? Why is that? What I believe is going on here is this: These objects in space have yet to receive mans touch, and thus have no sin to weigh them down. This isn't the case for earth, where we see the impact of transfered sin to material objects. The more sin, the heavier something is.


Wow, I just say WOW eek! messed


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Old Post Apr 8th, 2008 01:14 PM
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chithappens
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where did u find this


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Old Post Apr 8th, 2008 01:57 PM
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Da Pittman
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Reminds me of some of the dumb quotes of Jerry Falwell


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Old Post Apr 8th, 2008 02:04 PM
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willofthewisp
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Just to make clear, not all Christians share the same opinion and it does seem like the dumber ones decided to all get together and talk about how fake gravity is.

So yeah, this is comedy, very much, but please don't judge all Christians from this. Most of us haven't kissed our brains goodbye.


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Old Post Apr 8th, 2008 04:42 PM
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Storm
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Obviously willofthewisp, fundamentalist Christians do not equal all Christians.


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I am not driven by people’ s praise and I am not slowed down by people’ s criticism.
You only live once. But if you live it right, once is enough. Wrong. We only die once, we live every day!
Make poverty history.

Old Post Apr 8th, 2008 05:27 PM
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tsilamini
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this must be where anne coulter spends her time on the web...


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yes, a million times yes

Old Post Apr 8th, 2008 05:31 PM
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dadudemon
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What is wrong with anything they said? confused


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Old Post Apr 8th, 2008 05:33 PM
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Shakyamunison
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quote: (post)
Originally posted by inimalist
this must be where anne coulter spends her time on the web...


mad laughing


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Old Post Apr 8th, 2008 05:35 PM
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tsilamini
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Re: The 100 Greatest Quotes from Fundamentalist Christian Chat Rooms

quote: (post)

I am a bit troubled. I believe my son has a girlfriend, because she left a dirty magazine with men in it under his bed. My son is only 16 and I really don't think he's ready to date yet. What's worse is that he's sneaking some girl to his room behind my back. I need help, God! I want my son to stop being so secretive!


This is almost too good

almost good enough to be fake...


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yes, a million times yes

Old Post Apr 8th, 2008 05:41 PM
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Shakyamunison
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Re: Re: The 100 Greatest Quotes from Fundamentalist Christian Chat Rooms

quote: (post)
Originally posted by inimalist
This is almost too good

almost good enough to be fake...


laughing How many girls bring gay magazines to a boys house? laughing


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Old Post Apr 8th, 2008 05:50 PM
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chithappens
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Yeah, my friend and I were talking about that one 2


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Old Post Apr 8th, 2008 05:52 PM
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Admiral Akbar
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I can't believe how stupid some people are. I got a good laugh out of some of the quotes and was also a bit dissapointed with how dumb or misinformed people can be. I mean seriously..regarding the first quote about gravitation, how low can your level of intelligence be if you can't understand something taught in a basic physics course.


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Old Post Apr 8th, 2008 06:35 PM
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Da Pittman
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quote: (post)
Originally posted by willofthewisp
Just to make clear, not all Christians share the same opinion and it does seem like the dumber ones decided to all get together and talk about how fake gravity is.

So yeah, this is comedy, very much, but please don't judge all Christians from this. Most of us haven't kissed our brains goodbye.
Well you did have the likes of Jerry Falwell and his massive following that agreed with him and his views which is scary by any means.


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Old Post Apr 8th, 2008 06:42 PM
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chithappens
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Which is why we all need to examine some other belief system than the one we are handed at birth.


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Old Post Apr 8th, 2008 07:26 PM
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Zeal Ex Nihilo
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Unfortunately, the "no gravity" one appears to be real, or a facsimile of true craziness at the very least. The other ones...well, a lot of them are from Portal of Evil.


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Ask me about my "obvious and unpleasant agenda of hatred."

Old Post Apr 8th, 2008 07:30 PM
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Bardock42
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Fundies sure say the darndest things.


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Old Post Apr 8th, 2008 08:19 PM
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Robtard
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I thought Christians were the caring and forgiving ones, not unlike those filthy Muslims that will do something to you if you don't follow their beliefs.


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Old Post Apr 8th, 2008 08:32 PM
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Come on people, you're being intolerant of other beliefs.


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Last edited by Raz on Jan 1st 2000 at 00:00AM

Old Post Apr 8th, 2008 09:23 PM
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Shakyamunison
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quote: (post)
Originally posted by lord xyz
Come on people, you're being intolerant of other beliefs.


quote:
The only good Atheist is a dead Atheist.


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