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The author contest
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Super Marie 64
Queen of Feuds

Gender: Female
Location: At home, wishing

The author contest

Who would make the best author? Who would write the best books? They have free hands for creativity and can make whatever kind of book they want. The contestants are:

Mario
Kel'Thuzad
Spyro
Ganondorf
Albert Wesker


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Old Post Feb 24th, 2010 10:20 AM
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ScreamPaste
Carpe Noctem

Gender: Male
Location: 1/9.7'rd Horseman of the Apocalypse

My bias tells me that Ganondorfs Machiavellian experiences and talent for moving, albeit twisted, monologues would make him a great writer.

That said, Wesker's got verbal diarhea, and severe delusions of grandeur. His book would be much longer, while Ganondorf's would be more intense.

Spyro, I have no comment on, nor Kel.

Mario's book would probably be something like One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest if the author had done more acid than he already had. (he did acid while he wrote the book to try and help his portrayal of insanity.), and the main character had been extremely optimistic.


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The moon and stars aren't just shades of lead

But you wouldn't know as you rest your head.

Old Post Feb 24th, 2010 10:24 AM
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AthenasTrgrFngr
Don't wanna die...

Gender: Female
Location: No Russian

weskers book would be very boring... considering... you know... he gets all his ideas from comic book villains.

plus, British humor sucks, and theyre wierd.

"poor performance in-deeeeeed, BLAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"


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Old Post Feb 24th, 2010 10:29 AM
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Super Marie 64
Queen of Feuds

Gender: Female
Location: At home, wishing

Kel'Thuzad has a sense for the dramatic, but I reckon his book would be a self-biography or something. He is quite intent to tell people who he is.

Spyro has been through a lot of weird stuff. If he could make use of all the things he has seen, his book would be pretty interesting reading. Surely not as malicious as the rest, but I am sure he could put a nice work together. Sadly, he does not exactly have the soul of a poet.


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Old Post Feb 24th, 2010 10:29 AM
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iChaos
The Embodiment of Chaos

Gender: Male
Location: In the universe, causing chaos.

It's a tie between Wesker and Ganon. But, if I had to choose, I'd probably say Wesker, I don't know.


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Old Post Feb 24th, 2010 03:22 PM
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AthenasTrgrFngr
Don't wanna die...

Gender: Female
Location: No Russian

what? laughing out loud thats completely contradictory stick out tongue


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Old Post Feb 24th, 2010 04:53 PM
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Markness
Senior Member

Gender: Male
Location: Someone's mind

Mario would write stories about characters that prove even the (literally) crappiest careers in the world can still get you a girlfriend.

Last edited by Markness on Feb 24th, 2010 at 05:33 PM

Old Post Feb 24th, 2010 05:25 PM
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MooCowofJustice
Too Far Gone

Gender: Male
Location: United States

Plumbers make good money, bro.

quote: (post)
Originally posted by ScreamPaste
Mario's book would probably be something like One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest if the author had done more acid than he already had. (he did acid while he wrote the book to try and help his portrayal of insanity.), and the main character had been extremely optimistic.


Did you ever finish Catcher in the Rye by the way?

For the topic, I'd have to say either Mario or Spyro. Spyro could write some fantastic adventure stories inspired by all the places he's been and Mario could probably do very well with a standard fantasy story of slaying the dragon to save the princess. He's done it at least 20 times.


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Old Post Feb 24th, 2010 06:06 PM
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ScreamPaste
Carpe Noctem

Gender: Male
Location: 1/9.7'rd Horseman of the Apocalypse

I did not finish it. I just hate the main character too much.


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The moon and stars aren't just shades of lead

But you wouldn't know as you rest your head.

Old Post Feb 24th, 2010 06:28 PM
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MooCowofJustice
Too Far Gone

Gender: Male
Location: United States

I don't blame you. I hated it too.


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All hail Scythe, King of the Sigs.

Old Post Feb 24th, 2010 06:30 PM
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menokokoro
Senior Member

Gender: Male
Location: United States

Mario would right a book on going from humble plumber to saving the princes
Kel'Thuzad would write about the lich king (not arthas) and himself
Spyro would be a fun read, lots of crazy stuff.
Ganondorf would write a magic book, trying to destroy that blasted master sword.
Albert Wesker... i dont know a lot about wesker...

id say spyros would be the most entertaining, marios would be the most useful if your a plumber, ganondorf would be the best for magic users..., kel'thuzad would be a better story than any of them, but his respect for the lich king and himself would get incredibly old.


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Old Post Feb 24th, 2010 10:55 PM
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FinalAnswer
Flower

Gender: Male
Location: The Underground

Albert Wesker, because he would write a book on natural selection and COMPLETE GLOBAL SATURATION.

Which would be humorous.


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Howdy!

Old Post Feb 25th, 2010 03:57 AM
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Wei Phoenix
One-Eyed Dragon Of Oshu

Gender: Unspecified
Location: Southern Cross

If by best as in who would sell the most then I'd have to say that Mario would more than likely win hands down.


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You Wa Shock!

Old Post Feb 25th, 2010 04:03 AM
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Nemesis X
Cynical Tyrant

Gender: Male
Location: In Luna's mane, chasing STAAARS!

I think Albert writing a book about how much he hates everybody would be a best seller. "CHRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!!!" would probably be the one sentence that takes up more than thirty pages laughing out loud


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Thanks Scythe for the sig.

Old Post Feb 25th, 2010 04:21 AM
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The Scenario
Greater Sci-Fi combatant

Gender: Unspecified
Location:

Mario for most entertaining read.
Kel'Thuzad for most useful spellbook.
Spyro I'm really not familiar with.
Ganondorf for book most likely to attempt to kill you.
Wesker for bestseller (COMPLETE. GLOBAL. SATURATION.)


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Old Post Feb 25th, 2010 05:39 AM
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MooCowofJustice
Too Far Gone

Gender: Male
Location: United States

You should go play the first three Spyro games, Scenario. Spyro the Dragon, Spyro: Ripto's Rage, and Spyro: Year of the Dragon.

If you have a PS3 I believe each one can be downloaded for three dollars. And I think they sell the pack for twelve dollars to make it easier.


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All hail Scythe, King of the Sigs.

Old Post Feb 25th, 2010 05:48 PM
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Maester_yoda
Senior Member

Gender: Male
Location: Dagobah

truf /\

The first three spyro games were fabulously fun and addicting.


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"You do this, Sam, and its all about you, the great Sam Gerard." "Yes I am." "And you always have to win." "Yes I do."

Old Post Feb 25th, 2010 05:51 PM
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MooCowofJustice
Too Far Gone

Gender: Male
Location: United States

And comical. That is somewhat implied since Insomniac made them. And not the crappy secondary Insomniac team, this is the real team. I think they went on to make the first three Ratchet and Clank games, and then to Resistance: Fall of Man.


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All hail Scythe, King of the Sigs.

Old Post Feb 25th, 2010 05:52 PM
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