Who would make the best author? Who would write the best books? They have free hands for creativity and can make whatever kind of book they want. The contestants are:
Gender: Male Location: 1/9.7'rd Horseman of the Apocalypse
My bias tells me that Ganondorfs Machiavellian experiences and talent for moving, albeit twisted, monologues would make him a great writer.
That said, Wesker's got verbal diarhea, and severe delusions of grandeur. His book would be much longer, while Ganondorf's would be more intense.
Spyro, I have no comment on, nor Kel.
Mario's book would probably be something like One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest if the author had done more acid than he already had. (he did acid while he wrote the book to try and help his portrayal of insanity.), and the main character had been extremely optimistic.
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The moon and stars aren't just shades of lead
But you wouldn't know as you rest your head.
Kel'Thuzad has a sense for the dramatic, but I reckon his book would be a self-biography or something. He is quite intent to tell people who he is.
Spyro has been through a lot of weird stuff. If he could make use of all the things he has seen, his book would be pretty interesting reading. Surely not as malicious as the rest, but I am sure he could put a nice work together. Sadly, he does not exactly have the soul of a poet.
Did you ever finish Catcher in the Rye by the way?
For the topic, I'd have to say either Mario or Spyro. Spyro could write some fantastic adventure stories inspired by all the places he's been and Mario could probably do very well with a standard fantasy story of slaying the dragon to save the princess. He's done it at least 20 times.
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All hail Scythe, King of the Sigs.
Mario would right a book on going from humble plumber to saving the princes
Kel'Thuzad would write about the lich king (not arthas) and himself
Spyro would be a fun read, lots of crazy stuff.
Ganondorf would write a magic book, trying to destroy that blasted master sword.
Albert Wesker... i dont know a lot about wesker...
id say spyros would be the most entertaining, marios would be the most useful if your a plumber, ganondorf would be the best for magic users..., kel'thuzad would be a better story than any of them, but his respect for the lich king and himself would get incredibly old.
Gender: Male Location: In Luna's mane, chasing STAAARS!
I think Albert writing a book about how much he hates everybody would be a best seller. "CHRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!!!" would probably be the one sentence that takes up more than thirty pages
Mario for most entertaining read.
Kel'Thuzad for most useful spellbook.
Spyro I'm really not familiar with.
Ganondorf for book most likely to attempt to kill you.
Wesker for bestseller (COMPLETE. GLOBAL. SATURATION.)
And comical. That is somewhat implied since Insomniac made them. And not the crappy secondary Insomniac team, this is the real team. I think they went on to make the first three Ratchet and Clank games, and then to Resistance: Fall of Man.
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All hail Scythe, King of the Sigs.