i know this screams atention hore, i just had a split with my gf of a year... things feel wierd as she left me, i've been so unhappy of late... we both care,and she wants to start again... i kinda need time though, as i've let her go too, she'ss been patient and i dont wanna throw ti away
Gender: Male Location: Kicking pigs out of the screen.
Re: confusion...
Oi... seeing as I qualify to answer this I will.
You both were happy with one another, but now you are using what she did to make a reason to keep her away knowing that you've been considered before.
You are scared of being happy.
Do you have a rough past? People like that are usually mentally unstable.
If you have significant issues, usually highly traumatized people like that aren't mentally stable. They do unpredictable things, illogical things, and self-destructive things. They're usually prime candidates for bi-polarism, depression, suicide (or suicide attempts), eating disorders, abuse (or self-abuse), and cheating for particular reason other than a subconscious desire to rid themselves of whoever is making them happy. If you're making her happy and she's not used to being happy, she might get nervous and unconsciously do things to screw it up so that she'll be in more comfortable territory....misery.
If any of this rings a bell to you about you, then that may be why.
The problem with being a human Xanax is what happens when you're not around. I had a similar dynamic with a filipino girl a few years ago - she was crazy, I had a high tolerance for crazy. It was perfect. But the problem is she saw me as the solution to her life. She stopped going to her therapist, she stopped taking her medication. I took the place of both. But I'm not a therapist, and I can't change her brain chemistry - so she became increasingly erratic and came to depend on me more and more. It got to the point that I had a hard time managing MY life because I was constantly trying to solve all of the crises in HER life. Eventually I just couldn't do it anymore - I couldn't solve all her problems and be there every time she was depressed over her broken pencil or her dead cat or seeing her ex-boyfriend and still deal with all the stuff going on in my life. So I cut her loose - I had to because she stopped making my life good. I'll tell you - depression is contagious. Bi-polar people are exciting. When it's good with them, you're the happiest person in the world. But when it's bad....watch out. But the thing is, it switches from good to bad almost without warning. It's not condusive to a long term relationship - and that's why relationships almost never last with them. And when it ends? That's when the REAL problems start.
Someone has to be the rational one because bi-polar people will make crazy, impulsive decisions and then regret them and make life hell. They very well WOULD pack up her kid and move in with you and get herself pregnant on a whim, or something like that because that's how they think - it's all about emotion and passion and doing what FEELS right. but what FEELS right often isn't what IS right. And you have to analyze that and make sure that she does more analysis too, otherwise someone will feel their way to oblivion.
Gender: Male Location: Kicking pigs out of the screen.
Well... I've been around.
Yet in the end, if you truly love someone and have been through alot, and forgivness works one way, than it should work another. You don't want to be in something where you give and give and nothing comes back.
Though I think love takes practice, its not just something you get right the first time. It isn't about just feelings, but commitment and respect. When you have love hit you, you had better not let it go, and you should work things out.
KMC Community Forums
confusion...
Nov 18th, 2005 12:41 PM
