"A man was sitting at home one day when the police arrived to tell him his wife had died in a horrible accident. He was so distraught and didn't believe the news. He was sitting on the couch watching t.v. when the phone rang.
It was his wife telling him she had been in an accident and would be late for dinner. He was so freaked out about his dead wife calling that he had a heart attack and died. The police showed up about an hour later to find him dead on the couch with the worst expression on his face. They had come to his house to tell him it was a mixup. It was actually his neighbors wife who had died."
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"A Man on a motorcycle was passing an eighteen-wheeler carrying sheet metal when one of the sheets shifted and neatly cut off the driver's head.
His headless body continued on it's path by the semi. The driver saw the headless cyclist and immediately had a heart-attack, and his truck swerved into a bus-stop full of people."
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"A state trooper was driving through a rural area one day and as he passed by a farm, the farmer yelled "PIG! ... PIG!" at him while shaking a pitchfork.
The trooper wasn't the sensitive type and began yelling out the window "Redneck! Redneck!" as he ran into the large pig crossing the road."
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"A man jumps off the 50th floor of a building. Suicide. As he nears the 25th floor, a shot fires out of the window and he dies before he would have died anyway.
Strange luck. Turns out, the building has safety nets installed for maintenance work and he wouldn't have died by falling down.
Murder? A man who's actually aiming at his wife fires the shot. Attempted murder? The man never loaded the gun. Treachery? The man who jumps off the roof is the couple's son.
Fate? Turns out the son loaded the gun in a fit of rage in the hope that the woman might actually be shot. The gun he loaded kills him. Suicide, the police conclude."
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Before Apollo Mission astronaut Neil Armstrong re-entered the lander, he remarked "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky."
NASA assumed he was making a sarcastic remark to a Cosmonaut, but upon investigating they never found a Cosmonaut or Astronaut named Gorsky. On several interviews, Armstrong was asked who Gorsky was, but he never told. He just grinned.
In 1995, after Mr. Gorsky's death, Armstrong finally answered the question on an interview.
"When I was a kid, I was playing baseball with a friend in the backyard. My friend hit a fly ball and it landed in the front of my neighbor's bedroom window. My neighbors were Mr. & Mrs. Gorsky.
When we went to pick up the ball, we heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky, "Oral sex! You want oral sex?! You'll get oral sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!"
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An employee for US Air, who happened to have the last name of Gay, got on a plane recently using one of his company's "Free Flight" programs. However, when Mr. Gay tried to take his seat, he found it being occupied by a paying passenger. So, not to make a fuss, he simply chose another seat.
Unknown to Mr. Gay, another USAir flight at the airport experienced mechanical problems. The passengers of this other flight were being rerouted to various airplanes. A few were put on Mr. Gay's flight and anyone who was holding a "free" ticket was being "bumped".
Airline officials, armed with a list of these "freebee" ticket holders boarded the plane to remove the free ticket holders. Of course, our Mr. Gay was not sitting in his assigned seat as you may remember.
So when the Ticket Agent approached the seat where Mr. Gay was supposed to be sitting, she asked a startled customer "Are you Gay?". The man, shyly nodded that he was, at which point she demanded: "Then you have to get off the plane".
Our Mr. Gay, overhearing what the Ticket Agent had said, tried to clear up the situation: "You've got the wrong man. I'm Gay!". This caused an angry third passenger to yell "Hell, I'm gay too! They can't kick us all off!" Confusion reined as more an more passengers began yelling that USAir had no right to remove gays from their flights.
Gender: Male Location: .::The Anti-Fanboy Confederation::.
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Collected from the internet...
The cover of the album ("Honey" by the Ohio Players) depicts a nude model kneeling atop what appears to be a sheet of glass, dripping honey all over herself from a ladle suspended above her head. The original UL was that the glass was actually Fiberglas (or some other synthetic), which reacted chemically with the honey, bonding her skin, like Superglue, to the Fiberglas. Freeing her ripped the skin off her legs, and her career as a model was ruined. Sooooo... she just happens to burst in to the recording studio while the Ohio Players are recording "Rollercoaster," and starts threatening to sue the band for everything they're worth. The band's manager stabs her to death right there in the control booth, and that's the scream you hear in the song.
I have known about this one for quite a while.
It's interesting... And scary at the same time.
Download the original version and hear the screams.
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An Ancient Prophecy . . . The deity shall walk forth . . .
KMC Community Forums
Aug 14th, 2005 07:14 AM
