i had too many ppl trying to control me, and being negative, thinking they could steal a lil bit and gain advantage, when that's not how it works. i'm a positive feedback system, the more positive for me, the much more i give to the world around me, the less i have, the less i can offer anyone else. and i had too many ppl taking hits/jabs at me spiritually, that i could barely function. it was like a free for all, and i don't think they gained much, but a slight ego boast.
don't try to control ppl, don't try to rob their spiritual gifts/energy, and work on your life and be blessed. others will have the energy to bless you with what they have when it's in their freewill to do so, and u will have more self respect and developed your own talents in the meantime.
And to answer the question about sex, I'm not gay, I just don't reduce men to a sex organ.
Not sure what to call it exactly. I live in a house that has a land lord, and they lady plays some pretty interesting games. She's pretended psychically as if she's the ex-crush that I had, she has asked to borrow money for the exact amount that was in my bank account. Somehow, was able to get my cell phone to be routed to hers, since December, anyone who would call her on her cell would get my voicemail if she didn't answer her phone, I thought it was a fluke in December b/c I rarely call her, but it kept happening, even when I called her number from a landline. She thinks I have some sort of holy grail power, so she's put her son in my face, so anytime I leave and come back, he times my me exactly, almost every day (until 3 days ago). I'm not interested in her son, or her games. She knows about that crush I had, she had access to my voicemail, any doctor's msgs and personal information with my old job. She's violated my privacy and others. Not only physically but some sort of way, pscychically too. After losing my job, I can't afford to move out yet. She's even walked into my shower, pretending she didn't know that I was there. ****en *****, I don't know what to call it, but she's strange, bazaar and doesn't know boundries, basic human boundries. And yes, her son looks cute, but NO, I don't want him nor her games.
I don't know how else to think of men. Here I am, an engineer, I had the job I always wanted. I feel for a guy before he married, 3 years ago. I had a boss who wanted to **** me, he was married with a kid. I didn't want that. But he saw that I was into that other guy, who is white. So, he put racial ideas to cause problems. What did that do? It sent me threw the roof, he thought that since he couldn't get into my pants via other things, race would help, it didn't. It reminded me of my rape and sent me on a tangent against blacks, when I don't have anything against individual ppl at all. Then, I transfered to another boss, he's white. He thought that since my crush was balding and had light hair and eyes, he had a shot. Both bosses made my life a living hell on earth. As I lost weight, it became worse. I was feeling as if I was being controlled, that's why I started all those threads about women not having a choice. My first boss would get my crush to sneak and tell whatever I was doing, and I overheard them one day, as he was telling our ex boss that I was in a belly dancing class. All of my personal life was being reported back to my first boss. The both her ****ing me over psychically b/c I wasn't interested in either of them. And, regarding the crush, I had a crush on him for more then 3 years, so, this crap about me losiing my job was just formalities b/c someone wanted to see me punished. I was so confused, and felt that as I improved my looks, I would be surrounded by more men like both my ex-bosses. They thought that since I'm a nice person, they just need to bully me a bit to get me to comply.
I did seek pychics, that's crazy, I know. I visited Kasamba, and it was a game. A few were trying to get me to entrap my crush to "teach him a lesson", when I refused, they basically told me that it was "game over" with any future with him.
With this landlord, lose of job, someone stealing money from my bank account, having my life threatened, someone still messing with my account...
As I was losing weight, I had an ex roomate tell me that he might "hit that" since my body shape was getting better, and was playing competition and all sorts of games, he was a very handsome man, but NO. NO. NO. That made me want to eat cake everyday. It made me lose my sense of purpose in losing weight. And it was suggested that I love all married men, all younger men, all white men, it was all over the place. For what? One man? And that guy was jokiing around that he was Nazi, and I'm like, I AM NOT NAZI HUN. I DON'T HATE BLACKS OR ANYONE, I JUST DON'T LIKE TO BE DICKED AROUND. But someone pushed that man my way, thinking I liked younger men, white men, and nazi men...and they were wrong. I know who I like(d) and why. But the outside didn't know what to do with it. How can we control this one? That was my first bosses attitude. My surrounding job area would have ppl pull their ears at me, as if I'm some sort of nark or whatever, ppl avoided me like I was the plague, I was treated like crap. All for a crush? No, it was my bosses ego, both of their egos. So, that may not rep all men, but it caused me to lose interest in losing weight, esp. after my history with rape and being a virgin. That was done just to "control" me.
I don't know what to say. I just don't know what to do with too many geedies. I have positive gifts and they are good when it's done in my free will, and I'm left alone. Having ppl try to control in too many directions, greedy. And what does that do? It puts me in a position of feeling lost and entangled, no control, and I lack any energy to give, which is not my character.
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Last edited by Czarina_Czarina on Oct 13th, 2007 at 05:21 PM
In Canada at least, a landlord must give 24h notice to an occupant before coming onto their property, let alone b&e or phone/bank shenanigans.
If I were you, I'd try to find an explanation that doesn't involve psychic powers. Once you come up with one, if it turns out that she really is abusing your rights, file a police report. DO NOT put anything about spirits, psychics or souls on the report
got it. believe it or not, i dont talk about pyschics, spirits or souls at work or my old job...i mean, i talk about it online b/c all sort of stuff is online, and i figure there are ppl who could decipher, but this isn't a common everyday conversation with me, not in the "real" world.
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Oct 12th, 2007 08:36 PM
