Harry Potter and the Tower of Torture

Hey guys!I've decided to write my own version of the seventh book.It will not make any sence to you unless you've read JK's 6th book , The Half-Blood Prince.

So here I go!

Chapter One :A Pleasent Suprise

Harry sat on his bed at No. 4 Privet Drive , an empty feeling inside of him as the events of what happened a few days ago , left a horrible feeling in the pit of his stomachDumbledore was gone! , he thought gone! How could such a thing happen?what did he do to make this happen? He thought of Ginny , and how he had broken up with her.It was now two days into the summer and nothing interesting had happened.He had stayed locked up in his room all the while , his aunt passing him his food through the catflap in his door.He was sure to eat his meals to keep his strenght up for the journey he was about to take.The ministry had given all underage wizards and witches to use magic outside school,providing that any of the schools would ever open again.He had decided that he would leave a week into the holidays to visit Godrics Hollow.He wondered whether Ron and Hermione would really come.He had half-hoped they would and half-hoped that they wouldn't show up.Supposed one of them died ! he thought
Suddenly,He heard two cracks outside the house and hurried to the window pulling his wand out.He saw Ron , Hermione and Ginny standing there.apparntly Ron had apparated with out losing an eyebrow on his own while Hermione ,who was excelent at it , had Apprated with both herself and Ginny.They dived behind the bushes as they saw uncle Vernon burst through the door.Apparently,unable to find the sorce of the noise he went back into the house , muttering angrily.They saw Harry and smiled slightly up at him.It was apparent that they had all been affected buy Dumbledore's death.Ginny looked the worse , and Harry remembered , with a sinking heart , that he had broken up with her , in fear of her safety.One by one they climbed up a vine by Harry's window and Harry helped them all through.
" So you came then ,"said Harry
"of course we came Harry,"said Ginny softly.
"look , Ginny,I'm really sorry , but I had to........there was no chance of you surviveing if Voldermort Knew about us.But our special moments will forever remain in my heart,"said Harry gently looking down at her beautiful face.
Hermione looked pleased at the words Harry produced for Ginny while Ron looked slightly strange to be witnessing what was going on with his best mate and his little sister.

I know,a weird place to stop but i'm a bit tired now
so.........

How was it?

it's awsome.if u need help PM me.

no thanks,I think i'll write this one myself

"You know,Harry,maybe we should visit Gringots(sp?)"take out as much as we can and put a shrinking charm on it and bewitch it to be light,"said Hermione after a slight pause.They sat down to make plans .
"Did you guys bring anything?"asked Harry.they nodded and each took out a small trunk and a mini broomstick from thier pockets.they tapped them with their wands and their grew back to proper size.Ron had his own broom but Ginny and Hermione apparently borrowed Fred and George's broom.
"we should each carry a bottle of a glass for water.and shrink it.we could visit Madam Malkins to get extra robes.it won't be to hard to get food.We'll stop in Diagon Alley and pick up whatever we need."said Hermione.the next few days passed , with Harry and the others using magic to summon up food so that there will be enough.when the day they were leaving arrived , Ron , Hermione and Ginny got out of there blankets and Harry awoke in his bed , nervous and excited.They looked at eachother with determined looks in there faces and got out of bed . They all changed into fresh clothes , for Hermione had learned a spell which could wash and dry clothes immediately,and tought it to them.They each double checked their trunks and shrunk it , along with their brook sticks.Harry took out his invisibility cloak ans put it into his pocket and they prepared to leave for Diagon alley , and then Godric's Hollow.

Again,a weird place to stop.ho was it?

Well, it's a little "direct" in the beginnings, I'll give you that.

whats that supposed to mean?

's cood

I like it! keep it coming.... 😄 lol

^ i agree...
hey... never mind....
no still, (stupid question coming) are u gonna finish the part 6 u wrote ?

dont hit me 🙁🙁

Originally posted by crazykim
^ i agree...
hey... never mind....
no still, (stupid question coming) are u gonna finish the part 6 u wrote ?

dont hit me 🙁🙁

sorry , no

don't 4get about Bill's wedding.

i know , i didn't forget

auhhhhhhhh,
its ok, im happy with this one
😄😄😄😄😄

My advice:
"Slow it down just a notch, slightly more detail. And perfect grammar, spelling, and use of paragraphs don't hurt either." 🙂

Originally posted by DarkCanadian
My advice:
"Slow it down just a notch, slightly more detail. And perfect grammar, spelling, and use of paragraphs don't hurt either." 🙂

what do you mean , slow it down?The spelling isn't that bad , is it?

Meh, spelling is pretty good, be sure to capitalize at the beginning of new sentences, but what I think Dark is trying to say is add more detail so the story doesn't move along at such a fast pace. I'll tell you what I do when I write, maybe it will improve your writing, which is very, very good anyway. It's mostly whatever parts of J.K.'s style I could pick up.

Describe to the fullest extent...
- What Harry is feeling as a reaction to someone or something, or just plain what Harry is feeling
- Other's reactions to Harry or something, for example, Hermione looked stunned when she saw Harry use an Unforgivable curse on Ron.
-After someone says something, add a little bit after that, like this. "Yea, I know," said Harry, grinning because of Ron's stunned look.
- Not important, but I noticed that J.K. uses the word 'rather' a LOT in her books. Ron looed rather nervous. Harry felt rather full after the Christmas feast. Dumbledore's face looked rather wrinkled. Stuff like that. It'll sound like J.K. in no time!

So, I hope I didn't offer too much advice, but I thought if I told you some stuff now, you would use it later on in your story. Other than that, your story looks amazing. Keep it up, it's fantastic.

so was the book good??????????? i love your sig Joelsef

Originally posted by joelsef
Meh, spelling is pretty good, be sure to capitalize at the beginning of new sentences, but what I think Dark is trying to say is add more detail so the story doesn't move along at such a fast pace. I'll tell you what I do when I write, maybe it will improve your writing, which is very, very good anyway. It's mostly whatever parts of J.K.'s style I could pick up.

Describe to the fullest extent...
- What Harry is feeling as a reaction to someone or something, or just plain what Harry is feeling
- Other's reactions to Harry or something, for example, Hermione looked stunned when she saw Harry use an Unforgivable curse on Ron.
-After someone says something, add a little bit after that, like this. "Yea, I know," said Harry, grinning because of Ron's stunned look.
- Not important, but I noticed that J.K. uses the word 'rather' a LOT in her books. Ron looed rather nervous. Harry felt rather full after the Christmas feast. Dumbledore's face looked rather wrinkled. Stuff like that. It'll sound like J.K. in no time!

So, I hope I didn't offer too much advice, but I thought if I told you some stuff now, you would use it later on in your story. Other than that, your story looks amazing. Keep it up, it's fantastic.

thanks for the advise , it'll help alot. and no , you didn't offer to much advise.

haha thanks yurs is great too

glad you will find it useful Hermione202. write more soon!