This! Good one Queeg. That is exactly what I hoped when I first went to see Episode 1 in the theaters! I thought it would be a story similar to Ben Hur, with Anakin as the Messala character who turns on his older, wiser friend Ben Hur (OB1) to gain favor with the powerful Roman "Empire". In the grand finale, instead of the epic chariot race, they would have their duel where it appears OB1 has defeated Anakin and leaves him for dead... only to have Anakin reappear 20 years later as the evil enforcer for the Empire. <sigh> if only it could've been a storyline as powerful as that.
It started off okay, the assassination attempt on Padme was cool, the bounty hunter was cool. We saw a peek of the bad acting to come as Anakin was "uncomfortable" around Padme right off the bat.
Then the movie goes down the toilet via 2 horrible subplots-
the mysterious "poison dart"- give me a break! Obiwan spends days searching for a missing planet and finds out the dart was made on Kamino. Really!?!? A society built on cloning has some amazing engineers who redesign the centuries old technology of the dart.. and Obiwan learns this not from a library or even the Jedi archives, but a line cook at a local diner. Waste of time.
And the love scenes- some of the most uncomfortable, annoying, unemotional lines I've ever heard.
After this the movie actually gets back on track- the battle with Jango, the heroes gathering on Geonosis and fighting their way out of the pit, not bad. The sequence in the factory was a little forced, but I would forgive that if it were the only bad segment in the movie. And finally, the movie reaches Star Wars level once the Jedi start to battle the droids, then the clone army arrives to save the day.
I think most Star Wars fans gave the movie a chance, but those 2 horribly acted, horribly written, horribly developed subplots just ruined it.
Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones is the worst thing ever made by a human. Except for the bagpipes.
"Why is it so bad" you ask? Well it will take a little while to explain because basically the answer involves every single thing in the film.
__________________ Recently Produced and Distributed Young but High-Ranking Political Figure of Royal Ancestry within the Modern American Town Affectionately Referred To as Bel-Air.
Another thing about AOTC is that the few plot points gathered in this film (Syfo Dyas orderd the Clone Army but no one knows why, Jango fett is hired by Tyrannus, Tyrannus is revealed as a former Jedi, and the Genosians design the Death Star) have no bearing at all for the rest of the story:
1. Syfo Dyas's motives or the real story behind this order of Clones never leads to Palpatine (so why include this rather lengthy subplot if it serves no purpose)
2. Tyrannus died right at the beginning of ROTS, an unused and there useless character
3. The Death Star plays no part in ROTS and the fact that the Geonisians designed the DS is completely irrelevant for the OT
All in all AOTC is a completely OBSOLETE film. That's why I don't like it at all.
TPM at least served as something of an introduction, but AotC just felt... unnecessary.
__________________ Recently Produced and Distributed Young but High-Ranking Political Figure of Royal Ancestry within the Modern American Town Affectionately Referred To as Bel-Air.
The only real plot points we needed was
A) Anakin falling in love, but that was so horribly done, that we should discard it as relevant scenes
B) That Clones were made. But why this intricate storyline, how important is it that we know all the ins and outs of the order of Clones and if it is, why don't get the full story.
Silly. Can't believe Lucas hired a writer to help him out on this one and still manages to produce such rubbish.
That's about my list, although I would rate ROTS with a higher grade than 5/10. ROTJ gets a 7/10 I think... saved by the excellent Vader/Luke/Emperor scenes.
Registered: Nov 2011
Location: In a galaxy far far away!
I thought you gave TPM a 6 & AOTC a 5? They're the ratings you gave when I asked for everyone's ratings. Have you changed your mind on them or something?
Last edited by C-3POTheClever on Oct 10th, 2013 at 08:35 PM
I'd go with this. RotS may not be good for being "dark", but it's at least good at being "dark". And I get a bit of a kick out of it.
That and Palpatine. He's delightful.
__________________ Recently Produced and Distributed Young but High-Ranking Political Figure of Royal Ancestry within the Modern American Town Affectionately Referred To as Bel-Air.
Did I? Must have been in my crisis days when I couldn't accept how bad the prequels were. I struggled with that for a while... Let's just say they haven't improved in my appreciation since the last time I graded them.
__________________ Recently Produced and Distributed Young but High-Ranking Political Figure of Royal Ancestry within the Modern American Town Affectionately Referred To as Bel-Air.