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"Donald Kincaid and the Sock Heads" Short Story
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Dusty
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Gender: Male
Location: The United States. I <3 U

Arrow "Donald Kincaid and the Sock Heads" Short Story

Donald Kincaid and the Sock Heads


I wake up and I feel 10 inches taller and 20 years older. Today happens to be my 18th Birthday and I’m the most excited man in the world. I roll out of bed and take a swig from the Crown Royal liquor bottle under my bed. I keep it there so my grandparents don’t find it. On second thought, why would they? They never plunder. They aren’t like that. My Grandma, Rosa, is going on 78 years old, and she’s the sweetest old lady you’ve ever seen. Much like the next door neighbor to the kid you see in the family movies. She stuffs me when I look too skinny, and defends me in any argument regardless of who’s right and wrong. She’s sweet and understandable and on top of that she’s lovable.

My Grandpa, Frank, is a great man. Funny, too. He calls my grandma ‘Mom’. I’m not sure why, but I think it’s because they’ve had 8 kids and that’s just what he got used to calling her. He’s an old-fashioned southern man, and he’s always with Grandma Rosa and he always will be.

I walk downstairs after the swig and I see grandma and grandpa sitting at the table. It’s about 10:00, and grandma’s already got the sewing machine. Papaw is reading the paper.

“Happy Birthday Donald! My dear, you’ve grown overnight. If only your parents could see this!” Grandma greeted me with a hug. She led me to the table and pulled out a chair for me.

“No Presents, nanny?” I asked
“No sir, not until tonight! But Trust me, It’ll be worth it young lad!”, said Grandma

I smile and kiss her on the cheek. I look at Frank and he says, “ ‘Bout time you got up. if you’d have been up there any longer, I’dve ran up there and checked your pulse.”

“Now frank, he’s a growing boy you know. 18 years is a long way” Grandma defended.

Frank finishes up his paper and throws it in his bin, along with 100 other newspapers, and grandma hobbles upstairs to freshen up.

“What are you going to do while your Grandmother runs errands, today?”
“Actually Grandpa, I was thinking about running around with the Tommy Brothers today. Maybe go to the mall, or something.”
“Now you better watch yourself, those boys are nothing but trouble. You gotta set a good example for them. Just because they’re a few years older don’t mean nothin’.”
“Grandpa, you and I both know that I have more sense than that.”
“I sure hope so, Donald. The last thing I want is for you to get into any trouble. Mother would have a heart attack.”

I acknowledge grandpa and head out to my dodge. It’s a hunk of junk but it gets me where I need to go. The Tommy brothers live just down the road. They have parents, I just can’t recall ever seeing them out of all the times I’ve been over there. I pull into their dirt driveway and see them on the porch swing smoking something. Probably weed. They’re drug heads, and I’m not to proud to say that I am too.

The Tommy brothers are older, and very bossy. They always offer me things, and that’s probably why we stay ‘friends’. Weed, Booze, Cocaine, anything that I might want. I get it for free because I’m cool with them. They got a new shipment and they are begging me to join them in a crash.

“Dude, it’s the birthday boy!” I hear Michael Tommy yell at me, “let’s greet to the earth and get ****ing wasted!” I snatch a hit and take a long, burning puff of it and blow the fire and weed out of my lungs like smoke out of a freight train.

It’s about 6 O’clock now and we are high as can be. We’ve drunk more booze and smoked more pot than I ever have in my life. Everything is fuzzy and funny, I trip over the porch and fall into the bushes and we all laugh so hard the air evacuates from our lungs and our veins pop out.

Chris Tommy goes inside and grabs his Jeep keys, and he pulls it up to the front yard. “Hop in! We’re going for a ride!”.

I don’t argue, I grab a bud and we hop in the jeep. I sit in the back and they take the front seats. I take another puff and we bolt out of the driveway.

Everything is so fuzzy and distorted right now. I’ve never been this high in my life, and I wouldn’t be surprised if we hit a few road signs and nicked any mailboxes while swerving down the main road.

“Where are we going” I ask
“We are about to earn a lot of money, my amigo!” Chris replies while spilling good beer on his shirt.

After 10 minutes we pull up to a store, I’m too dazed to understand what the store’s sign says. They lock the doors and look back at me and hand me a sock with a few holes in it, while they take similar socks and pull it over their heads. I look at them, confused but at the same time I’m willing to put on the mask.

”Put it on”, they say.

I do and pull the holes so they position correctly, and they throw me what feels to be a large metal weight. I look down and try to make out what appears to be a gun. I get a feel for the hand gun and they grab theirs. I put the clues together and find out that we are robbing this place, and there is no way I can back down from it. So I go with it. As long as nobody’s hurt, what does it matter?

We walk into the store and Chris Tommy makes sure their presence is noted.

“EVERYONE! SHUT THE **** UP, AND THROW YOUR WALLETS ON THE GROUND RIGHT NOW!”

Some people do so and some don’t. They shoot a kid in the chest to make people know that they are serious. The kids father starts to kneel down to help the boy but Michael Pistol Whips his in the side of the head.

They hassle a deaf man for not listening and standing there. They’re just too high to figure out that he can’t hear. I want to say something but I don’t. I don’t even know where I am. I point my gun at a few people as they kick the deaf man’s face in and take his money.

They harass a few more people including a very attractive girl. Maybe my age. They grab her chest while pointing a gun at her, making sure she doesn’t move. She takes the abuse and I can guess why. She just wants it to be all over with. I would too.

While they are doing that, a lady steps in and scolds the two for sexually abusing the girl. They continue to do so and push the lady aside; she comes back up to them and tries to take Michael’s gun away. Chris cocks his .45 and shoots the lady in the chest. She falls back, and drops her purse. Her wallet slides out of the purse and I feel bad for stuffing it in my back pocket. I stop and stare at her for a moment and turn my eyes to the Brothers.

The Tommy brothers are approaching the counter to collect the money from the register when we hear the police. They start yelling at the clerk for calling in the cops.. They’re just too high and drunk to realize it was their gunshots.

They bolt out to the jeep and speed off without me. I yell at their speeding car and throw my sock and pistol in the gutter. I walk home and fall a few times. I’m so drunk I can’t even walk straight.

It’s not until midnight I finally reach home. It’s amazing I made it here. I walk up to the door and my high fades away. All that’s left is my roaring headache.

I walk into the kitchen and see my grandpa sitting at the table. He sure is a sight for sore eyes.

The only thing is, he’s sitting alone with his face in his hands.

It suddenly hits me and I pull the stolen wallet out of my back pocket and read the first sentence on the first card I pull out.

It read:

ROSA KINCAID
1305 GENERAL STREET
(434) 475-5436

Last edited by Dusty on Jun 19th, 2006 at 04:33 AM

Old Post Jun 19th, 2006 04:26 AM
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Billeh
Love Me Dead

Gender: Female
Location: Middle of Nowhere, USA

blink messed

Holy Shit. That's all that I can think to say--Holy shit.
Very powerful end, personally.
I definitely wouldn't want my 18th birthday to go down like that. Phew.
thumb up Sweetness.


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Old Post Jun 20th, 2006 08:50 PM
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Dusty
Senior Member

Gender: Male
Location: The United States. I <3 U

Thanks a lot. I really appreciate a good comment. smile

Old Post Jun 21st, 2006 03:01 AM
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Solo
Senior Member

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Very nice, man, very nice. But one thing noted, when you're doing that many drugs you are the most peaceful ****er in the world.

It'd take something really messed up for you to be angry about it.

I liked it though, especially the conclusion, didn't see it coming.

Last edited by Solo on Jun 22nd, 2006 at 04:02 AM

Old Post Jun 22nd, 2006 03:59 AM
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Dusty
Senior Member

Gender: Male
Location: The United States. I <3 U

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Solo
Very nice, man, very nice. But one thing noted, when you're doing that many drugs you are the most peaceful ****er in the world.

It'd take something really messed up for you to be angry about it.

I liked it though, especially the conclusion, didn't see it coming.


Awesome. I tried making the ending both believable and surprising. Glad it worked.

Old Post Jun 22nd, 2006 04:54 PM
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Vinny Valentine
Vinny Valentine

Gender: Male
Location: Canada

Very Nice Short Story, Kudos to you Dusty, I'm impressed.


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Old Post Jul 10th, 2006 10:21 PM
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Punkyhermy
like memory in motion

Gender: Unspecified
Location:

I think the most striking thing about this story is the prose and the voice used to convey it.The fact that it attempts to be more than a mundane naration of sorts and adapts the protagonists personality is only favorable to the story.

The story itself tho outlandish as a whole serves its purpose well, I can see. The whole incident of his grandma getting shot is very reminiscent of Sider-man too, I noticed. stick out tongue

A good attempt regardless. I really do want to see more of your short stories. A little bit of skill polishing goes a long way. wink

Old Post Jul 11th, 2006 06:11 PM
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Hazardous
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Dude that kicked ass thumb up

Old Post Jul 12th, 2006 06:31 AM
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Dusty
Senior Member

Gender: Male
Location: The United States. I <3 U

It's a pretty fast story. Not a lot of descriptions. My next story for the competition should kick ass. Mark my words.

Thanks for the comments. Any constructive criticism?

Old Post Jul 12th, 2006 02:39 PM
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Vinny Valentine
Vinny Valentine

Gender: Male
Location: Canada

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Dusty
It's a pretty fast story. Not a lot of descriptions. My next story for the competition should kick ass. Mark my words.

Thanks for the comments. Any constructive criticism?


A Little Long, More detail, and a bit more character development.

Keep an eye on your capitals and grammar.


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Old Post Jul 13th, 2006 02:00 AM
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Sweet Escape
Paparazzi

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I really like this story. Nice ending

Old Post Jul 13th, 2006 05:59 AM
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Strangelove
Misunderstood Genius

Gender: Male
Location: The Transmogrifier

Kickass story, man. It was a good choice to write it in the first person. There are a couple stylistic issues I had though; it sort of shifted into third person when the robbery started, and I would have liked it a lot better if you would have kept Donald's perspective (however altered) in there.

Still, it was fantastic. Good ending.


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Old Post Feb 21st, 2007 01:30 AM
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