KillerMovies - Movies That Matter!

REGISTER HERE TO JOIN IN! - It's easy and it's free!
Home » Community » The Off-Topic Forum » sex jokes

sex jokes
Started by: badboy2004

Forum Jump:
Post New Thread    Post A Reply
  Last Thread   Next Thread
Author
Thread
badboy2006
girl slayer

Gender: Male
Location: United Kingdom

Smile sex jokes

D you know what 6.9 is?
A good thing ****ed up by a period.

Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the lights because they can't see each other using sign language. After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife decides to find a solution. "Honey," she signs, "Why don't we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast one time."
The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back to his wife, "Great idea, Now if you want to have sex with ME, reach over and pull on my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and pull on my penis... fifty times!"


__________________

Old Post Nov 29th, 2004 12:59 PM
badboy2006 is currently offline Click here to Send badboy2006 a Private Message Find more posts by badboy2006 Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
badboy2006
girl slayer

Gender: Male
Location: United Kingdom

Two high school sweethearts who went out together for four years in high school were both virgins; they enjoyed losing their virginity with each other in 10th grade. When they graduated, they wanted to both go to the same college but the girl was accepted to a college on the east coast, and the guy went to the west coast. They agreed to be faithful to each other and spend anytime they could together. As time went on, the guy would call the girl and she would never be home, and when he wrote, she would take weeks to return the letters. Even when he emailed her, she took days to return his messages. Finally, she confessed to him she wanted to date around. He didn't take this very well and increased his calls, letters, and emails trying to win back her love.
Because she became annoyed, and now had a new boyfriend, she wanted to get him off her back. So, what she did is this: she took a polaroid picture of her sucking her new boyfriend's unmentionables and sent it to her old boyfriend with a note reading, "I found a new boyfriend, leave me alone." Well, needless to say, this guy was heartbroken but, even more so, was pissed. So, what he did next was awesome. He wrote on the back of the photo the following, "Dear Mom and Dad, having a great time at college, please send more money!" and mailed the picture to her parents.


__________________

Old Post Nov 29th, 2004 01:00 PM
badboy2006 is currently offline Click here to Send badboy2006 a Private Message Find more posts by badboy2006 Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
badboy2006
girl slayer

Gender: Male
Location: United Kingdom

There's a woman in a hospital in a coma. Her nurse notices after a few days that every time she sponge bathes the woman around the crotch, her vital signs, according to the nearby monitor, increase significantly. The nurse gets the bright idea that oral sex might just provide the stimulus to bring the woman out of her coma. She calls the woman's husband, tells him her idea about oral sex, and he agrees. When he arrives at the hospital, the nurse ushers him into the room, closes the curtain around the bed, and closes the door. Five minutes later, the man comes running out of the room screaming that all of his wife's vital signs have plummeted to zero and she needs a doctor immediately. The nurse, upset that her idea had not only not worked, but seemed to be threatening the life of the woman she had sought to save, asked the man what had happened. "I'm not sure, but I think she choked".


__________________

Old Post Nov 29th, 2004 01:02 PM
badboy2006 is currently offline Click here to Send badboy2006 a Private Message Find more posts by badboy2006 Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
ladygrim
The Grim piratess

Gender: Female
Location: Thats so hot

i have heard all of these ...but hey there still good


__________________

Old Post Nov 30th, 2004 12:55 PM
ladygrim is currently offline Click here to Send ladygrim a Private Message Find more posts by ladygrim Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
Clovie

Gender: Female
Location: lost in your dreams

i didn't know those erm


__________________

tricked me once - shame on you, tricked me twice - shame on me

Old Post Nov 30th, 2004 01:08 PM
Clovie is currently offline Click here to Send Clovie a Private Message Find more posts by Clovie Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
Ms Chelle
ubuntu

Gender: Female
Location: RM118

not that good erm sorry steven...just dont find them....funny....


__________________


made by Scribble

Old Post Nov 30th, 2004 01:15 PM
Ms Chelle is currently offline Click here to Send Ms Chelle a Private Message Find more posts by Ms Chelle Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
cruel jedi
A PrOpHeT oF tHe DaRkSiDe

Gender: Male
Location: At the egde of the abyss

The sky was dark
The moon was high
All alone just she and I
Her hair was soft
Her eyes were blue
I knew just what
She wanted to do
Her skin so soft
Her legs so fine
I ran my fingers
Down her spine
I didn't know how
But I tried my best
I started by placing
My hands on her breast
I remember my fear
My fast beating heart
But slowly she spread
Her legs apart
And when I did it
I felt no shame
All at once
The white stuff came
At last it's finished
It's all over now
My first time ever
At milking a cow...


__________________

<<<Scatter Senbonzakura>>>

Old Post Nov 30th, 2004 01:30 PM
cruel jedi is currently offline Click here to Send cruel jedi a Private Message Find more posts by cruel jedi Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
Ax3l
Dream Finder

Gender: Male
Location: Imagination Pavilion

hahahahahahahah, that was a good one.....this is not pg-13 though, i say lock it


__________________


One little spark...

Old Post Nov 30th, 2004 04:36 PM
Ax3l is currently offline Click here to Send Ax3l a Private Message Find more posts by Ax3l Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
All times are UTC. The time now is 02:46 PM.
  Last Thread   Next Thread

Home » Community » The Off-Topic Forum » sex jokes

Email this Page
Subscribe to this Thread
   Post New Thread  Post A Reply

Forum Jump:
Search by user:
 

Forum Rules:
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is OFF
vB code is ON
Smilies are ON
[IMG] code is ON

Text-only version
 

< - KillerMovies.com - Forum Archive - Forum Rules >


© Copyright 2000-2006, KillerMovies.com. All Rights Reserved.
Powered by: vBulletin, copyright ©2000-2006, Jelsoft Enterprises Limited.