F@ck Chuck Norris. This is Batman ( copy and pasted from Newsarama since I'm not smart enough to come up with this myself)
Some random Batman facts:
Batman isn't a creature of the night. The night approaches Batman carefully avoiding any eye contact.
Death is scared of the Batman. That's why he gave back Jason Todd.
Batman doesn't enjoy anything.
Batman pities more fools before 9 AM than Mr. T does all day. He just doesn't have to advertise it.
Batman doesn't dress like a bat to instill fear. That's why bats dress like him.
The Empire State Building was built so that Batman could perch broodily on its ramparts. If not for Batman, the borough of Manhattan would be very, very short.
Batman doesn't need superpowers; superpowers need Batman.
Only one person has ever been known to answer the "Who would win in a fight - Batman or Superman?" question with "Superman".
Batman didn't enjoy hurting Martha Kent, but examples must be made.
Q: Pirates vs. ninjas?
A: Batman.
Batman is the only living person who is known to have deflected Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick.
The Batmobile is black because Batman couldn't get it in a darker color.
Batman wears black because all other colors flee at his approach.
Batman's submission to "Junkyard Wars" was rejected for being too implausible.
Batman does not use hair product. His hair does what it is told.
There are infinitely many universes. The only thing that all these universes have in common is that each has a Batman.
Batman needs a Robin.
Batman's utility belt? Filled with Jolly Ranchers.
Batman does not really have a kryptonite ring. It's made of apple-flavored candy. He just intimidates Superman into losing his powers and feeling deathly ill.
Batman does not wear underpants beneath his costume as to not have noticeable panty-lines.
Crime does not occur during the day, in deference to Batman being too cool to be seen in daylight.
The last person to say "Smile!" to Batman is still in physical therapy, but hopes to regain full use of their spine soon.
Batman once caused Mr. Freeze to make Yellow Snow.
Batman makes Poison Ivy itch.
Batman doesn't kill. He prefers to make people wish they were dead.
Batman was happier in the sixties. There may have been drugs involved.
Batman has studied every kind of martial art. He spent three weeks on fighting with cherries alone. (Red and black.) And he always remembers to peel the banana.
The Justice League all wear Batman underoos.
After what Batman did to The Penguin, real penguins decided to move to Antartica - just in case....
Batman isn't crazy like a fox. Foxes wish they were crazy like Batman.
KMC Community Forums
Jan 27th, 2006 01:13 AM
