Punkyhermy
like memory in motion
Gender: Unspecified Location:
maybe
Glistened cheek with its drops like liquid
Slide and itch.
Nail. Embossed bath tissue stuck.
Threadbare, filmy. Ripped.
Thud thud, look.
Sing. Collide blocks that build.
Julia. Maybe amazed lets it be.
Kissing kisslessly.
Sep 20th, 2007 04:47 AM
vivando-loca
untitled
Gender: Unspecified Location: Airports to Amsterdam...
whoa, riveting and haunting, nice.
__________________
Sep 20th, 2007 07:38 PM
Punkyhermy
like memory in motion
Gender: Unspecified Location:
aw thank you.
Sep 20th, 2007 09:09 PM
Punkyhermy
like memory in motion
Gender: Unspecified Location:
...
sweats haphazardly cut
cover the ass.legs,
Shine white. Whiter than
The wall divided.
sunshine yellow flats
Not for ballet. Scarlet
Camels walk the feet
On marble as white.
B. bold and red. outlined
white. Evening blue that
Hides eyes.not lips fuzzy
Edged and pink that
Move in rhythm.
Sep 20th, 2007 09:52 PM
Mr. Bacon
Who?
Gender: Male Location: History
short and sweet, succinct yet detailed.
i like it the style is cool the imagery is very clear
Sep 20th, 2007 09:53 PM
Mr. Bacon
Who?
Gender: Male Location: History
the first stanza is best i think
Sep 20th, 2007 09:58 PM
Punkyhermy
like memory in motion
Gender: Unspecified Location:
aww thanks kev!
i'm glad you liked.
Sep 20th, 2007 10:04 PM
Punkyhermy
like memory in motion
Gender: Unspecified Location:
i see
thanks for reading!
Sep 20th, 2007 10:06 PM
Mr. Bacon
Who?
Gender: Male Location: History
quote: (post ) Originally posted by Punkyhermy
i see
thanks for reading!
anytime dahling
Sep 21st, 2007 12:21 AM
Roulette
Freak
Gender: Female Location: Arkham Asylum
Simple, but beautiful.
Nice work, Punky!
__________________
Madness, as you know, is like gravity...all it takes is a little push.
Oct 27th, 2007 10:57 AM
Punkyhermy
like memory in motion
Gender: Unspecified Location:
quote: (post ) Originally posted by Roulette
Simple, but beautiful.
Nice work, Punky!
thanks sweetie.
btw. batman love!!!
Oct 30th, 2007 05:22 PM
Roulette
Freak
Gender: Female Location: Arkham Asylum
Welcomes! ^-^
Haha. Yay for The Bat! Can't wait for The Dark Knight. *Claps loudly*
__________________
Madness, as you know, is like gravity...all it takes is a little push.
Oct 31st, 2007 10:51 AM
Punkyhermy
like memory in motion
Gender: Unspecified Location:
I knowww!!
Oct 31st, 2007 05:12 PM
Roulette
Freak
Gender: Female Location: Arkham Asylum
Comes out in July, right? Crapz, I wish it was July.
__________________
Madness, as you know, is like gravity...all it takes is a little push.
Nov 1st, 2007 06:19 AM
King of Blades
The King
Gender: Male Location: The South
I don't want to seem like the sour apple here but I think your poetry lacks...I don't...that little something something that lets the reader know what the poems about.
The first poem left me with a nagging of a girl getting ready for a date. I wasn't so sure the imagery painted something, that though was a stretch.
The second poem reminded me of articles in papers and magazines. Now for this I am positive was not the intention of the poem. The stanza's don't seem to flow to form one coherent image and/or story, which makes it very confusing to determine what it is your trying to say. Maybe a title will make it easier to see what it is you are trying to write.
That's my two cents.
__________________
Nov 2nd, 2007 02:19 AM
Punkyhermy
like memory in motion
Gender: Unspecified Location:
The thing is tho AOR, my poems were meant to be of abstract nature. It is SUPPOSED to be up to the reader to make of them what he will. This isn't a flaw just another style of composing poems.
Dec 23rd, 2007 06:52 PM
Punkyhermy
like memory in motion
Gender: Unspecified Location:
I didn’t hear the wind
That threw to the worn
Out parquet white
Sheets faced down.
Blank rectangles of
Whiteness at my
Chilled feet
Lay threatened
To forever stay.
But I was looking
at the distance
as Murkyness
dubbed it unseen.
Dec 23rd, 2007 07:15 PM
Rubyman
Restricted
Gender: Male Location: The Next level
Account Restricted
dont likee youur sdtuff rely
Dec 23rd, 2007 10:41 PM
Mr. Bacon
Who?
Gender: Male Location: History
quote: (post ) Originally posted by Punkyhermy
I didn’t hear the wind
That threw to the worn
Out parquet white
Sheets faced down.
Blank rectangles of
Whiteness at my
Chilled feet
Lay threatened
To forever stay.
But I was looking
at the distance
as Murkyness
dubbed it unseen.
haha, i like
the subject seems so very simple and random
Dec 24th, 2007 05:25 AM
Punkyhermy
like memory in motion
Gender: Unspecified Location:
quote: (post ) Originally posted by Mr. Bacon
haha, i like
the subject seems so very simple and random
I;m glad.
it is. it was written really quick
Dec 24th, 2007 07:25 PM
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