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My poetry
Started by: calvinNhobbes

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calvinNhobbes
Senior Member

Gender: Male
Location: United States

My poetry

Hello everyone I wanted share some of my poetry. I have written when at points of extreme emotion. This first poem was written while I was in China for foreign study in college. I was feeling a little depressed at the time. Don't get me wrong, being in China was a great experience but I felt myself not taking it all in as I should have.

There is no title. I would like to know your opinions.

Here it goes.


As the slowness of the day covers me like a coffe stain
I wrestle with my thoughts
Repeating the same scenes
I am stuck in a play
Written out by myself
With no ending or change
Each climax followed by an anticlimax
This cycle I want to break
This script I want to rewrite
This stage I want to leave
It seems I may be too late
For my lines are on cue
My rehearsals complete
Comfort lies in what I repeat.



I will share some more later. Thank you for reading and for any constructive criticism you may have.


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Old Post Apr 18th, 2005 06:12 AM
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Dwarfdude
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Gender: Unspecified
Location: The Last Circle of Hell

"The world is a stage, and the people just players, making their entries and exits."
-William Shakespeare

A well written poem.


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"Balance is best in all things." -The Odyssey

Old Post Apr 18th, 2005 05:03 PM
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calvinNhobbes
Senior Member

Gender: Male
Location: United States

Thank you. I know the idea isn't original but the concept helped to relate the depression I was feeling. the following poem is somewhat dark as well but I think it has a bit of hope laced into it. Plus it may sound more original to you.

Caught up in the exquisite pain of dying
I light a cagarrette in the moons glow
A brisk breeze cuts through my shirt
Reminding me that I can feel the chill
I stand on the corner waiting for my ride
After five short hours it arrives
Black interior with white exterior
This is my kind of car
Jumping inside we speed away
Leaving behind the smell of babies
With the sound of colors
I sit inside with the numbing black
Protected by the bright white
I am comfortable and hope it never stops
when the ride stopsl I stop.
I stop being and become distraught
My face changes and no one can see me
Everyone is a stranger but I am stranger.
I am stranger than you and to you
Do you want to take a ride with me?

the reason I chose to share this poem is because I had wanted to do something that was Abstract and contradictory. I thought that with these images come more questions about the poem thus invoking more thought into the poem. Perhaps you extrapolate from it your own questions and answers. Eventually a poem that builds on itself through others. thanks for reading


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Old Post Apr 19th, 2005 02:31 AM
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Coldfire
<3 <3 <3

Gender: Female
Location: Vancouver, Canada

Those are really good calvinNhobbes!!


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Old Post Apr 19th, 2005 03:57 AM
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calvinNhobbes
Senior Member

Gender: Male
Location: United States

Thank you. I will post another one soon. I will look for a more uplifting and inspiring one.


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Old Post Apr 19th, 2005 05:53 AM
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Coldfire
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Gender: Female
Location: Vancouver, Canada

I've been looking for one of those too.


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Old Post Apr 19th, 2005 11:43 PM
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calvinNhobbes
Senior Member

Gender: Male
Location: United States

Here is a slight change in tone for you.
_________________________________________
What can we learn from a walk in the woods,
while loose dirt forms dust clouds
Over ant hills.

My perspective darts from the sky to trees to the ground
the blue sky, earth's open and free.

the trees stand tall but never judge.

the ants work hard together for a common cause.

Ahh what lessons can we learn
from a walk in the woods?

>>>>>>TG
______________________________________________
Calm is the state I seek
with wonderment and awe

comfort is the home I search for
while chaos surrounds me

Knowledge of who I am is my goal
Learning each day who I don't want to be

two lines parallel may never meet
but they may lead to the next station

>>>>>>>>>>>TG


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Old Post Apr 20th, 2005 04:57 AM
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Coldfire
<3 <3 <3

Gender: Female
Location: Vancouver, Canada

Oooo those are good, and from a happier perspective!! Good job!! big grin


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Old Post Apr 21st, 2005 03:21 AM
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calvinNhobbes
Senior Member

Gender: Male
Location: United States

Here is a romantic poem that I never sent to the girl I was seeing.

I had a dream about you the other day.
You were smiling by the shore
With the wind playing with your hair.
We came to see the sun rise beneath palm trees
On a white sandy beach.
I can still feel the sand tickle my feet
As you tickled my lips and my heart.
With the smell of salt water
And the rhythmic sound of the ocean
I was in heaven, as we lay in each others arms.
My dream yearns to become reality
As I yearn to become one with you.

I probably never gave it to her because I thought it was cheesy in a Hallmark kind of way but something about it made me keep it all this time. Perhaps I will change it someday to make it different.


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Old Post Apr 26th, 2005 04:16 PM
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calvinNhobbes
Senior Member

Gender: Male
Location: United States

Here is a short poem describing a kiss.

The Kiss

Wet lips
smooth skin
Cheeck to cheeck
Breath inhaling
Small of the back
Closed eyes
Open eyes
Closer than anyone
Slow touch
Hold my chin
I hold the nape of your neck
Biting gently on the upper lip


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Last edited by calvinNhobbes on Apr 26th, 2005 at 04:27 PM

Old Post Apr 26th, 2005 04:22 PM
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calvinNhobbes
Senior Member

Gender: Male
Location: United States

Here is a poem about salvation, deciding to live, or hope. I guess it depends on the reader. Enjoy . By the way this is all one poem not two.

To Understand
good question.
want someone to see?
Give me a reason
Ask if you would
Say no to cascading sea
That strikes rocks hard.

THUNDERCLAPS

Grey skies loom up above
Droplets fall from the sky
Surrounding me in a sheet of water
I raise my head to greet each one
They land on my eyes and lips
Rolling off my chin
To splash down to the ground.
One alone is unheard
But millions create a constant clap.

The lightning strikes
its beauty breathtaking
While its power can kill
Thunder follows with a loud crash.

The day is dark, yet
To me it shines brighter than ever.


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Old Post Apr 26th, 2005 04:36 PM
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Coldfire
<3 <3 <3

Gender: Female
Location: Vancouver, Canada

Oooo nice ones big grin I like the first romantic one love


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Old Post Apr 26th, 2005 11:21 PM
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Tassie
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Gender: Female
Location:

Nice thumb up big grin The last one is my fave. happy

Old Post Apr 26th, 2005 11:34 PM
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calvinNhobbes
Senior Member

Gender: Male
Location: United States

An older poem trying to cut a straight path for myself.

the ink is my drug
The pen, my needle
Sink it into my skin
I feel no evil.

For the warmth covers my head
Like a thinking cap
I no longer desire
The winter's nap.

Conscience return
My lines sting and burn
Long loops and cursives
And passionate scriptives

Like tatoos on my back
always remembered but
blurring my vision no more.
Now I look forward for the door.

To escape this room and all of its gloom.
My back may burn but I won't turn.
Because I know I can learn.

One foot forward no more double steppin
I am ready to make things happen.


the original was only the first two parts but I wanted it to go on a little longer. I wouldn't mind if you good people would let me know if the rhythm is off or if the length is. It is a work in progress. Like my life. You know what? After reading it , I don't like it, the timing is off and it rhymes too much it seems like the words are trying too hard to convey the real emotion I feel but are falling short of the task. Any suggestions?


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Old Post Apr 27th, 2005 05:46 AM
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skatebording
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you all suck do something better with your life than poetry

Old Post Apr 27th, 2005 11:29 AM
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calvinNhobbes
Senior Member

Gender: Male
Location: United States

thanks for the encouragement there skaterboarder.


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Old Post Apr 28th, 2005 04:42 AM
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calvinNhobbes
Senior Member

Gender: Male
Location: United States

RRRAAWRR !!!
Anger erupts inside my head
Blood boils to a fevering pitch
When all you see is waste
I turn red with too much haste

So cooling off step by step
I count to ten and take a breath
Don't mock me for what you don't know
Don't talk to me like some freakshow.

Music you thrash to and words you memorize
Perhaps you never noticed the poetry
that laid before your eyes
In those lyrics you hear.

Your music's too loud
The words have no meaning
Does this sound like something you've heard

Did it sound absurd?

Well then maybe now
You can understand my meaning
When I say "stop writing poetry?"

What are you dreaming?


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Old Post May 2nd, 2005 05:53 AM
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Coldfire
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Gender: Female
Location: Vancouver, Canada

quote: (post)
Originally posted by skatebording
you all suck do something better with your life than poetry



Niiiiice there skateboarding... If you don't like reading poetry, no one is forcing you to come here.... The writers here are looking for CONSTRUCTIVE critisism thank you very much smile


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Old Post May 6th, 2005 04:07 AM
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Coldfire
<3 <3 <3

Gender: Female
Location: Vancouver, Canada

I like those ones... but the first one, well yeah the rhyming is.... I dunno really... doesn't quite fit??


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Old Post May 6th, 2005 04:12 AM
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calvinNhobbes
Senior Member

Gender: Male
Location: United States

Paint me a picture with your red lips and green eyes.
Apply your rosy cheek's and smooth tan thighs.

With each stroke touch my canvas, don't miss a spot.
Show me the sun, moon and the earth's core burning hot.

Abstract in mind or real to the touch
Your painted love gives me a rush


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And so it goes.

Old Post May 25th, 2005 03:19 AM
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