I wrote a few poems yesterday night and this morning, just out of the blue cuz I had some thoughts that wouldn't leave my head. I dunno how good they are, so someone please help me out there? And please, tell me things on how to improve on writing, if ya could!!
BETRAYAL
My heart is pounding,
My hands are clenched into fists,
My head is hanging,
My ears are ringing,
My eyes are filling with tears,
My body is trembling.
I walk away.
Away from you,
The one who has hurt me,
Who has caused me all this pain.
My heart has been broken
For the very last time.
Never, ever again
Will anyone make me feel this devastated.
I will lock my heart away,
In the tallest tower,
Of the tallest castle,
On the tallest mountain.
And there it will stay,
Never to be broken again,
Never to bleed like that again.
I just can’t believe it.
I thought that you were different,
I thought that you were my friend,
I thought that you loved me.
But you have shown your true colors,
And now I truly see,
That I have been living an absolute lie.
I’ve only been fooling myself.
I mean, what was I thinking?
I believed that someone really cared for me,
I believed every d@mn word you said.
I am such an idiot.
I let my heart control my mind,
And now I am paying the price.
You used to make me laugh;
Now you make me want to cry.
You used to make me happy;
But thinking of you now depresses me.
You used to be in my dreams;
Now you haunt me in my nightmares.
I’m being destroyed by the mere memory of you.
Now all I wanna do is curl up and cry,
And I am so completely lost.
My life is meaningless now,
‘Cuz you were my love, my life,
And now I am all alone again.
I am fading away, ever so slowly.
You are killing me.
Sinking…
I stand here watching them,
From the outside looking in,
Watching all my friends,
As they joke and talk together,
As they laugh and have fun.
And, once again,
They have forgotten all about me.
Why am I the one left out?
Why am I the one being shunned?
Is it because of the way I am?
Is it because I’m too far gone,
Into my own little world
Of fantasies and hopes and dreams?
Is it simply because they don’t like me?
And that they never have?
And all this time they’ve just been pretending?
Pretending to really be my friends?
Sometimes I wonder,
Sometimes I suspect
That I really am all alone,
Alone in this cold, cruel world,
And that no one will be there for me,
Just when I really need them the most.
So I sink even deeper
Into my own little made-up world,
Becoming lost inside illusions,
Hardly able to tell reality from fantasy.
And every day it stays the same,
Nothing really changes,
And so my little world becomes
My refuge from everything and everyone else.
And so I block everyone out,
Locking up my tortured heart,
Sealing it away in walls of stone,
So that it cannot be hurt like that again.
I begin to drift away from them,
Those I once called my friends,
Those who laugh and joke without me,
And make me feel so discluded.
They finally see my withdrawal,
And now it is too late.
I am just too far gone,
Too far over the edge,
To even think of turning back now.
I become as I am named:
Coldfire, she with an icy, uncaring heart
And a fire that burns within her,
Burning with her hate and rage and pain.
I feed that fire within me,
Each hurtful word, each scornful look,
I put them all in the flames inside,
Until the fire burns like the sun itself.
And it tries to escape me,
Tries to get back at those that have done this to me;
Coldfire wants their blood.
And even though revenge would taste so sweet,
I do not let the rage consume me utterly.
I dampen the fire with the coldness in my heart,
Not knowing, that in doing so,
I am burning myself away,
Day by day,
Hour by hour,
Minute by minute.
I am being consumed by my own hatred and pain.
Coldfire is starting to take over.
I realize this too late,
There is nothing I can do to stop
This pointless self-destruction,
This suicide of mind and soul.
Oh, my friends finally see the truth now,
And now they are all concerned,
But it’s too late now;
Far too late.
I am fading,
Being replaced by something that I wasn’t;
Coldfire, she who has no cares or worries,
She who does not love,
Or feel any emotion at all.
She has taken over me.
Amber is no more;
Coldfire reigns.
Ok here's another one. It's "Sinking..." redone, cuz we had to do a poem with lots of metaphors in it. So here it is:
I stand here watching,
From the outside looking in,
A raven among the pheasants.
I listen as my so-called friends
Joke, laugh, and have fun without me.
I am a piece of the sidewalk;
Forgotten and ignored.
They have once again left me on my own.
Why am I the one being shunned,
A leper that no one wants to touch?
Is it because they never really liked me?
That they are leopards who don’t change their spots?
So all this time they’ve just been pretending?
And I was stupid enough to go along with it,
A lamb led to the slaughter?
No one really seems to care.
Sometimes I really do believe
That I am all alone in this world;
The last dragon left on this earth,
Forced to live the rest of its days
As the sole survivor of its kind.
And when the pain and fear comes to call,
No one will be there to help me cope;
I’m a cut flower left to die in the hot sun.
I begin to sink deeper,
Into a well that seems to have no end.
I lose myself inside my own world,
The world I’ve created inside my head
To escape the pain, the fear, the hate, the loneliness.
It is a jewel among ordinary stones,
And it keeps me going when I’ve lost my will to.
I am lost inside illusions and dreams.
And so I block everyone and everything out,
Locking up my tortured heart.
My heart is now a ball of the hardest steel,
And it will never be hurt like that again.
My so-called friends cannot see
All the changes taking place inside of me.
They only continue their fun,
And their exclusion of me.
They finally do see the changes,
But they are indifferent;
Stiff royalty sitting on their thrones.
And it is too late anyway;
I am just too far gone over the edge,
To even think about turning back now.
I look at these people unsympathetically;
An eagle hungrily eyeing a little white rabbit.
I become as I have been named:
Coldfire, she with an icy, uncaring heart
And a fire that burns deep within her soul.
She is there inside of me, I feel her,
And she is becoming very restless.
She burns with all the emotions I feel;
A phoenix ready for full flight.
A dragon, awakened and ravenous.
I feel the fire growing within me,
And I feed it everything,
Each hurtful word, each scornful gaze, everything.
I can feel Coldfire inside my head,
Trying to take over my body.
She is thunder and lightning rolled into one,
And she is aching for revenge;
She is howling for their blood.
And although revenge would taste so sweet,
I don’t let Coldfire take hold of me.
She screams at me,
Demanding to give those so-called friends
Their appropriate and just punishments.
She is rage personified,
And I just barely get her back under control.
I am beginning to slip.
I try to dampen the fire within me,
Using coldness I didn’t know I possessed.
Not knowing that, in doing so,
I was burning myself away,
Day by day,
Hour by hour,
Minute by minute.
I am being consumed by my own emotions.
I realize that it’s too late,
And there’s nothing I can do to stop it.
Coldfire is like a tidal wave,
Helping me in my self-destruction,
This suicide of my mind and soul.
My so-called friends have finally realized there’s something wrong,
But they are much too late.
I am fading away.
I’m being replaced by something I wasn’t;
An uncaring, unfeeling, stone-like person.
It has become very hard to control my body,
For Coldfire has moved in,
With the swiftness of a cheetah,
And taken over my voluntary actions.
Like a viper, she strikes
At the most inopportune moments.
I am then shoved into the back,
Where I can only watch helplessly
As she does things I would never do,
And says things I would never say.
Look what you’ve done to me!
I try to shout to my so-called friends.
But they are statues and don’t hear me,
And that will be their very last mistake.
With Coldfire now in place,
My so-called friends would be better off dead;
They have no idea what’s in store for them.
But I know all too well,
Just what Coldfire wants to do to them.
She is a torture chamber
Hidden inside a human body.
My so-called friends are doomed.
From reading your poems, it would appear that you have some self-confidence issues and more than a hint of paranoia...I recommend a weekly dose of physical recreation with your peers to run concurrently with a bit of poetry-related cold turkey...
__________________ Come, my child...Your life begins here...
Actually, no I don't. I just write about stuff that comes into my head, not necessarily what I'm feeling. Thanks for the recommendation, but I think I'll pass on it.....
Poetry that's bitter does not necessarily mean that the writer has any issues.. most poetry, especially from writers around this age, is bitter, but this good stuff, very beautiful, and poets usually prefer appreciation than advice, or the suggestion that there're some personal issues that need sorting.
Ugh, I have a tendency to stray from a point.. I love the poem.
KMC Community Forums
Apr 13th, 2005 03:38 AM
That was really good!
I didn't know I had it in me! 
Don't stop! You have a real talent. 
It means so much to me to see that people like them!! 
)
