KillerMovies - Movies That Matter!

REGISTER HERE TO JOIN IN! - It's easy and it's free!
Home » Misc » Artwork Forum » Poetry Corner » A.S.H.E.S., I am HERE.

A.S.H.E.S., I am HERE.
Started by: Beyond Image

Forum Jump:
Post New Thread    Post A Reply
  Last Thread   Next Thread
Author
Thread
Beyond Image
RE SOCK the UNITY

Gender: Male
Location: Where the Sunset Sets.

Arrow A.S.H.E.S., I am HERE.

hell-O, this is B.I. as i m not a certified poet, but i can play with words

very well. in the coming weeks i will type a few of my poems from time

to time for any of you to read. after that who knows where i'll go.





p.s. a poetry corner... wink


__________________
its time to leave into the great beyond.

Old Post Mar 10th, 2006 03:54 AM
Beyond Image is currently offline Click here to Send Beyond Image a Private Message Find more posts by Beyond Image Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
Beyond Image
RE SOCK the UNITY

Gender: Male
Location: Where the Sunset Sets.

I want 2 B

There I sat reading books by Stephen King,
Robert Bloch, J.K. Rowling, and I got 2 thinking.
How did these people fall N love with words?
Somehow through time they became gifted lords.
As 4 me, I realize . . .

. .There R things’ N this world that Nspire,
If U can picture my heart’s Dsire
Is 2 control my destiny on an ambitious wire;
4 my love of words has 2 transpire.
2 B able 2 bend reality 2 my liking;
Creating thoughts through analyzing,
2 succeed by sending my ideas 2 U by telekinesis.
Even if U say with contempt, “ who wrote this?”
So before U close my book, realize this:
Hidden N these words there is a thesis.
As I do my best with the given ability.
N time, my goal is 2 Mprove my love story.
My journey through fiction and reality.
Words will come so I should not worry.
I C as I realize. . .
N my world I can make words that Nspire,
Bcause I can choose my life of Dsire,
Where each letter is connected by my delicate wire.
It’s not complicated 4 my dream 2 transpire.

Nside this poem I C words I like, I hope U do 2.
That all I want 2 B is a writer born like U.

KEEP WEEPING 4 me 2 KEEP WRITING


__________________
its time to leave into the great beyond.

Old Post Mar 10th, 2006 03:55 AM
Beyond Image is currently offline Click here to Send Beyond Image a Private Message Find more posts by Beyond Image Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
LanceWindu
Senior Member

Gender: Unspecified
Location:

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Beyond Image
I want 2 B

There I sat reading books by Stephen King,
Robert Bloch, J.K. Rowling, and I got 2 thinking.
How did these people fall N love with words?
Somehow through time they became gifted lords.
As 4 me, I realize . . .

. .There R things’ N this world that Nspire,
If U can picture my heart’s Dsire
Is 2 control my destiny on an ambitious wire;
4 my love of words has 2 transpire.
2 B able 2 bend reality 2 my liking;
Creating thoughts through analyzing,
2 succeed by sending my ideas 2 U by telekinesis.
Even if U say with contempt, “ who wrote this?”
So before U close my book, realize this:
Hidden N these words there is a thesis.
As I do my best with the given ability.
N time, my goal is 2 Mprove my love story.
My journey through fiction and reality.
Words will come so I should not worry.
I C as I realize. . .
N my world I can make words that Nspire,
Bcause I can choose my life of Dsire,
Where each letter is connected by my delicate wire.
It’s not complicated 4 my dream 2 transpire.

Nside this poem I C words I like, I hope U do 2.
That all I want 2 B is a writer born like U.

KEEP WEEPING 4 me 2 KEEP WRITING


1. Learn to spell...Using numbers instead of words is idiotic, such as: to, too, for, etc. Fix that and it'll greatly improve.

2. Your structure is flawed. You keep switching stanza styles which dramatically hurts the poem.

3. In the first stanza you have these lines:

"How did these people fall N love with words?
Somehow through time they became gifted lords."

The pronunciation of "words" and "lords" are completely different. Just because they share the same letters at the end does not mean they rhyme.

I'm sorry, but it's not good. Keep working at it.


__________________

Old Post Mar 10th, 2006 04:29 AM
LanceWindu is currently offline Click here to Send LanceWindu a Private Message Find more posts by LanceWindu Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
Coldfire
<3 <3 <3

Gender: Female
Location: Vancouver, Canada

quote: (post)
Originally posted by KENobi™
1. Learn to spell...Using numbers instead of words is idiotic, such as: to, too, for, etc. Fix that and it'll greatly improve.

2. Your structure is flawed. You keep switching stanza styles which dramatically hurts the poem.

3. In the first stanza you have these lines:

"How did these people fall N love with words?
Somehow through time they became gifted lords."

The pronunciation of "words" and "lords" are completely different. Just because they share the same letters at the end does not mean they rhyme.

I'm sorry, but it's not good. Keep working at it.

Yeah I'd have to agree with this hun


__________________

Old Post Mar 10th, 2006 06:13 AM
Coldfire is currently offline Click here to Send Coldfire a Private Message Find more posts by Coldfire Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
Beyond Image
RE SOCK the UNITY

Gender: Male
Location: Where the Sunset Sets.

**** u both


__________________
its time to leave into the great beyond.

Old Post Oct 17th, 2014 03:54 AM
Beyond Image is currently offline Click here to Send Beyond Image a Private Message Find more posts by Beyond Image Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
All times are UTC. The time now is 06:31 AM.
  Last Thread   Next Thread

Home » Misc » Artwork Forum » Poetry Corner » A.S.H.E.S., I am HERE.

Email this Page
Subscribe to this Thread
   Post New Thread  Post A Reply

Forum Jump:
Search by user:
 

Forum Rules:
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is OFF
vB code is ON
Smilies are ON
[IMG] code is ON

Text-only version
 

< - KillerMovies.com - Forum Archive - Forum Rules >


© Copyright 2000-2006, KillerMovies.com. All Rights Reserved.
Powered by: vBulletin, copyright ©2000-2006, Jelsoft Enterprises Limited.