Question: Our oldest child is 15 and likes to visit chat rooms. She does this at the local library because our kids cannot log in by themselves at home (our PC is password-protected). It seems she started chatting with a 32-year-old man. About a month later, she received a phone call from him. Our daughter has refused to give us any information on this man. How do I protect her?
Answer: Step one is succeeding at some form of authentic communication with your daughter. If she is withholding information from you about the man on the Internet, she could just as easily withhold information about a face-to-face encounter with someone, or about any of a hundred things. Your challenge here is not the bogeyman on the Internet -- it's the failed communication with your daughter. That's where I'd put my attention, maybe even seeking help outside the family (e.g., family counselor).
I also propose to you that by this age, there is no information about men and the world that your daughter needs to be protected from. Information is now her armor. I'd suggest you and your daughter might benefit from reading How to Get Through to Teenage Girls,'' from my book Protecting the Gift.
Thoughts?
__________________
I'm young and female, but tough, I love coffee
15 is not really a child, when i was 15 i was on them, i felt old enough to be, 16 is the age limit on a lot, which is only one year ahead, which is definitely not a child.
Depends on how the person is, how sensible they are, a lot of 15 year olds can be like adults when being on the internet. I would say a child was 12 and under, a proper child. I understand what you mean though, but a proper child is different to a 15 year old, in their restrictions. I was seen as differently to a child at age 15.
I'm almost 17 but I avoid talking to much older guys on the web, I just put them on ignore. It just feels wrong, I wouldn't do it in real life it's kind of icky to do it here.
__________________
I'm young and female, but tough, I love coffee
Yes, i will not talk to older guys either. No matter whether you are 19-15 or what, which are very similar anyway, i think everyone has to be so careful. In my own opinion.
I have seen television programs on older than myself, and also younger, where people were wanted for sex etc, at about 18. And they were talking to 50 yr old men
I think in general, that people should get along with any ages, i love mixing with all ages, i often look upto them too. I have a lot older friends that what i am, though as long as it isnt some weirdo, i do not care. But like you say, you cannot prove that the man is decent by talking to him on the internet. Shamly. That is why me and my friends usually have webcam conversations
Oh well, i am sure you act older
Having seen what that Capt Fantastic who is on my ignore list because he thinks I am someone else said in Debbies quote, I am not a 45 year old male. What a weird thing to say. Anyway I look forward to reading peoples thoughts when i'm online again.
__________________
I'm young and female, but tough, I love coffee
KMC Community Forums
Jan 7th, 2007 05:23 PM
