KMC Forums - Rage

Although I'm planning to actually write this up(eventually), I thought I might let ya'll read a short summary of the basic plot points, and see what you think sucks and what might be ok.

-RAGE-
Begins with 3 children, who are the greatest of friends. One is a larger black kid, the other a medium set red haired girl, and the final member a short, scrawny black haired child. They enter a construction area, and a group of larger teenagers decide to pick out the scrawny boy, again, as their weekly target. After a brief delay, the kids split up and head through the half-built apartment. Escaping, the scrawny child enters a doorway. After hearing the chasing boys leave, he investigates the room he is in. He sees a very small doorway now, on it is a circle and line through it that appears to be of some wet substance. Upon investigating it, he cannot see any way of getting inside. Instead, his curiosity still running high, he looks down the other side of the hallway that he is in. At the very far side, he sees another doorway, a very tall one with a doorknob made of steel. As he was stepping forward, he became aware of a presence, and it filled him with inexpressible terror. He slowly turned, back to the small door, and saw that now there was a green light emanating from beneath it, and it was in fact, opened. Just a crack. From inside, voices whispered out at him. Then, jaw dropping, he heard the voice and fled the room in horror, and fled the building, past his friends who had been waiting, come out of their hiding spots. He fled back home, but even there nothing could keep out the voice that was now forever inside of him. IT had called his name to come inside.
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30 years later.
(summary)
the scrawny child has now grown into a failing adult. Everything has fallen apart around him. Eventually he begins to remember his childhood days, and again he hears the voice. It tortures him, until he returns to the run-down building, somehow exactly the same as it had been so many years before. The voice promises relief from all of his problems. He enters the small door.
He awakens in his room, unconscious. It appears to have no effect. He decides to get together with his friends again. When they do, the poison is seeping into his mind. His rage is getting control of him. He exited that doorway with a headache, and a demon inside. Slowly, this demon takes control. When he is pushed too far, it takes over his mind entirely, killing and destroying until he is pushed to unconscious. Soon it will have control entirely over him. His 2 friends discover the horrifying truth slowly, having picked up on clues all through their lives.
Now they have precious little time to stop it, and to do so they must enter into the large door at the other end of the hallway, emerging with the one weapon that can destroy the demon inside their friend. Yet the demon is winning. It was summoned, and that cannot be undone, save by the other power. At the finale, 1 of the company is dead and the other lies dying, yet he is enlisted in the same power that gave the demon out, and that same power lies in both doorways-the power to give evil, and the power to defeat it. The remaining friend dies in the success, and the demon-possessed man is left alone, again.
Last scene-
He is lying in a hospital bed, presumedly at a mental institute. All alone. His eyes glare at the ceiling. And suddenly, the voice returns, calling again. He smiles.