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Jameous Woodshire
Senior Member
Registered: Apr 2001
Location: USA
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It's from Bloom County. Bearke Breathed is a huge SW fan and he did this in the mid '80s.
Ironc how close he got the year isint it! 
I have some more but they arent Bloom County.
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Aug 23rd, 2001 07:23 AM |
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keokiswahine
Confusion
Registered: Jan 2001
Location: USA
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maybe yes, and maybe no. I think I read somewhere that GL is a bloom county fan.
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Aug 23rd, 2001 08:22 AM |
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Zereil
Scoundrel
Registered: Apr 2001
Location: Hull\Chelmsford
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whatever those were they seemed to have disappeared You couldnt possibly post them to me please?
[email protected]
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Aug 23rd, 2001 10:11 AM |
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LanceWindu
Senior Member
Registered: Jun 2001
Location:
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Once again I did not write these.
You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If.......
Author: Unknown
Your Jedi robe is a Camouflage color.
You have ever used a lightsaber to clean fish or open a non-twist-off bottle of beer.
At least one wing of your X-wing is painted with primer.
A peaceful meditation session is one without gas.
You have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.
You have ever used your lightsaber to open a bottle of Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill.
There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder.
You think the best use of your lightsaber is picking your teeth.
You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder.
You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.
You think that Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really good sheets.
You can levitate yourself using a force from within, but not the Force.
Your master ever said ''My finger you will pull..hmmm?''
You ever lost a hand during a light-saber fight because you had to spit.
The worst part of spending time on Dagoba is the dadgum skeeters.
Wookies are offended by your B.O.
You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.
You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.
You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the bar-b-q grill to light.
Your father has ever said to you, ''Shoot, son come on over t' the dark side...it'll be a hoot.''
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Aug 24th, 2001 02:49 AM |
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LanceWindu
Senior Member
Registered: Jun 2001
Location:
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You might Be A Star Wars Junkie If...
Author: Unknown
When you're looking through your drawer for that other black sock, you aid your search by telling yourself, "Lock on to the strongest power source, it SHOULD be the power generator."
When riding your bike, you look behind you and accelerate wildly by pressing down on the petal with your right toe.
You've made your Kenner Darth Vader figure a "proper" cloak out of cloth, to replace the cheap vinyl one he came with.
You've kept the "good" action figures stored separately from the "bad" ones.
Whenever you went anywhere outside with your friends, you always walked single file, to hide your numbers.
You've written several letters to the President recommending that he dissolve the council, put power in the hands of the regional governors, and let fear keep the local systems in line.
You believe there really is a Lando System, they just haven't found it yet!
You've ever called somebody "laserbrain' - and meant it.
You've ever used fishing line to try the snow speeder - tow cables maneuver on your cat.
When you and a friend have been on one of those amusement park rides where you had to sit back to back, and you started calling him Dack and told him to stop whining about his approach vector.
Whenever your mother asked you to babysit your little brother, you always instilled confidence by replying, "Leave him to me. I will deal with him myself."
When trying unsuccessfully to snare that last Cheerio floating in your cereal bowl, you remarked, "the Force is strong with this one."
As a child, whenever you had broken something, your response was always, "It must've had a self-destruct mechanism. I didn't hit it that hard."
You actually CAN move things with the Force.
You've refused to enter a cave/cavern/tunnel without a handgun and a large stick.
When someone had apoligized to you, you choked him and told him that you accepted his apology.
When you waited for a friend to catch up with you, you told him to hurry up or he'd be a permanent resident.
The girl you've been going out with suddently tells you she loves you and you said, "I know."
You've composed lyrics to the SW theme.
You've tried to create your own Yoda puppet out of a green sock and some buttons.
You have lightsaber duelled with cardboard tubes, rolled up periodicals, or common garden vegetables.
When nobody else is around, you've seriously tried to draw something into your hand with the Force.
You've used one of Solo's lines in an intimate situation.
You've been pulled over by a policeman and when asked to see your drivers' liscence you replied, "You don't need to see my identification."
You have physically threatened anyone who referred to "Hans Solo" or "Dark Vader", confused Star Wars with Star Trek, or spelled Wookiee with only one "e."
You have held up an onion ring and said, "Look sir, droids."
You've ever found yourself in a chat room, training Jedi.
You've tried to make your own lightsaber.
You've gotten into a fist fight with a Trekkie.
You've told family and friends that your children LOVE Star Wars, even though they really don't, just so you can play with the toys!
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Aug 24th, 2001 03:04 AM |
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Ushgarak
Paladin
Registered: Sep 2000
Location: Chelmsford, Essex, UKCo-Admin
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Were you aware that Star Wars is rubbish? Here is an article recently posted at BBC Online:
While the world gasps in amazement at the news of the new "Star Wars" episode - "Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones", here is your useful set of arguments when it comes to convincing starry-eyed, young-middle-aged clods clutching their original Greedo action figures and cuddly Banthas that their entire life is based on a contemptible lie. May the Force be with you.
Jar-Jar Binks
Ewoks - was this a Lucasfilms attempt to copyright teddy bears?
Wholesale wastage of British acting talent.
"Return of the Jedi". The whole film.
Did we mention Jar-Jar Binks?
Pre-acting classes Harrison Ford, never more convincing than when frozen in a block of solid goo.
Bun-like ear muffs as a female hairstyle, no more flattering for Natalie Portman than Carrie Fisher.
Dialogue along the general lines of "travellin' through hyperspace ain't like dustin' crops, boy!"
That special edition re-release with the dodgy CGI Jabba the Hutt spliced in.
Establishing the law that the biggest box office goes to the stupidest films.
Jar-Jar Bloody Binks!
Wholesale wastage of Samuel L. Jackson.
Fast-food merchandising tie-ins.
The cluttering up of the SF shelves at your local bookshop with worthless tie-in junk passed off as novels.
Princess Leia's slave girl outfit in "Return of the Jedi" aside, the remarkable lack of sexiness. There's more steam in ten minutes of "Flash Gordon" than in all four "Star Wars" films to date.
Anyone remember "Caravan of Courage: The Ewok Adventure" and "Ewoks: Battle for Endor", episodes seven and a half and eight and a quarter?
Not including a proper death scene for Peter Cushing.
Delaying Mark Hamill's discovery of a true career as a voice-over artist playing comic book villains (he's the best-ever Joker).
Murderous syntax of the contrived and annoying wise sayings Yoda comes out with.
George Lucas's persistent attempts to persuade people that children like Jar-Jar Binks and they're who he made the film for in the first place, bless him.
Passing off an embarrassing plot device as a religion.
Cute comedy relief robots.
What was the name of that kid in "The Phantom Menace", you know the one? Yes, Haley Joel Osment. No, wait a minute. Jake Something. He was dreadful.
Taking up a ridiculous amount of neurons in Kevin Smith's brain that could more profitably be used making his films better.
Press conferences and news stories trying to get excited about the title of a sequel - anyone care what they call "Alien 5" or "Lethal Weapon 5"?
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"We've got maybe seconds before Darth Rosenberg grinds everybody into Jawa burgers and not one of you buds has the midi-chlorians to stop her!"
"You've never had any TINY bit of sex, have you?"
BtVS
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Sep 1st, 2001 12:56 PM |
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Jameous Woodshire
Senior Member
Registered: Apr 2001
Location: USA
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Well, I'd probably go along with the comments on Lethal Weapon, or Alien. But He dissed Star Wars!! He must die!!!
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Last edited by Jameous Woodshire on Sep 2nd, 2001 at 07:19 AM
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Sep 1st, 2001 11:17 PM |
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Ushgarak
Paladin
Registered: Sep 2000
Location: Chelmsford, Essex, UKCo-Admin
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Well, obviously...
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"We've got maybe seconds before Darth Rosenberg grinds everybody into Jawa burgers and not one of you buds has the midi-chlorians to stop her!"
"You've never had any TINY bit of sex, have you?"
BtVS
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Sep 1st, 2001 11:24 PM |
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LanceWindu
Senior Member
Registered: Jun 2001
Location:
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Let's be civilized. No killing people... Let's just beat the crap out of him.
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Sep 7th, 2001 06:26 PM |
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Jameous Woodshire
Senior Member
Registered: Apr 2001
Location: USA
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"Are you Magnolia Fan?"
"Yes"
"Did you say "**** SW! **** then in their stupid ***s?"
"Yeah"
*Let the beating commence*
 
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Sep 8th, 2001 04:52 AM |
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HavocHound
Senior Member
Registered: Sep 2001
Location: the Flipside
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Anti-Jarism is such a typical blase' point of view.  I'm all for a difference of opintion but the worldwide conspiracy of the Anti-Jar Consortium is not reasonable or rational enough for its existence to be justified. It's a consortium of ideological terrorists who seek to deprive the rest of the world of the boundless treasure who is Jar Jar. We Jarists have been countering their attacks for years (hard to believe it's been going on for 2 1/2 years).
Constructive criticism is fine but the misguided zeal of the Anti-Jars is certainly not constructive. They don't even understand the depth of "Jar Jar Bloody Binks." We should tell them, and all the other haters, that they can complain all they want but they can't take away our spirits or our imagination. And that's their entire goal - to destroy peoples' spirits and imaginations and turn them into soulless, mindless, collectivist commodities of the coming global police state.
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I am a thought criminal, liberated from the bondage of sanity. >>HH<<
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Sep 27th, 2001 06:18 PM |
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Ushgarak
Paladin
Registered: Sep 2000
Location: Chelmsford, Essex, UKCo-Admin
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It IS? Gee, I thought they just didn't like being reminded so harshly that this is kid's stuff...
(And yes, I KNOW that Jar-Jar doesn't have to be ONLY liked by kids, but you can see my point, yeah?)
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"We've got maybe seconds before Darth Rosenberg grinds everybody into Jawa burgers and not one of you buds has the midi-chlorians to stop her!"
"You've never had any TINY bit of sex, have you?"
BtVS
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Sep 27th, 2001 06:25 PM |
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Tex
Yumsz
Registered: Jun 2001
Location: Tampa, FL, USA
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Jar Jar would have been a whole lot better if it wasn't so hard to understand what he was saying and if GL had help writing his lines.
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Sep 28th, 2001 04:28 PM |
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yerssot
Senior Member
Registered: Jul 2001
Location:
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That's not the only thing
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Sep 29th, 2001 11:18 AM |
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