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Adult Version Of Harry Potter
Started by: Syren

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Laviera_j
Kadehadaire_Mage_:)

Gender: Female
Location:

HA HA HA HA HA AH AH AHA HA AHAHAHAHAHAHH!


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Lava_wacky_j

Work that magic!
Work that magic!

All at the KMC tig! BOPrecruit16,Raven Guardia, charmaine,Exa, Tela,Nabokonir, cheekymunkey,airangel,tassie,ADSkinner,airangel429
,Eez! Everybody!

Old Post May 14th, 2004 05:54 PM
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Laviera_j
Kadehadaire_Mage_:)

Gender: Female
Location:

Keep going!


__________________
Lava_wacky_j

Work that magic!
Work that magic!

All at the KMC tig! BOPrecruit16,Raven Guardia, charmaine,Exa, Tela,Nabokonir, cheekymunkey,airangel,tassie,ADSkinner,airangel429
,Eez! Everybody!

Old Post May 14th, 2004 05:55 PM
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crAZRick
I'm God here!

Gender: Male
Location: United States

The stoned sorcerers, Harry and Ron, stumbled woozily to the vending chamber down the hall.

"$hit! I used my last quarters to get condoms for my time with Herpes!" Ron moaned, drool pooling at the corners of his mouth as he stared thru the glass of the vending machine, eying the Cheetos and Doritos lustfully.

"I got it, bro..." Harry grinned, noticing how Ron was ogling slots E4 and J6. "Think I'd like something sweet, and red and chewy, like Herpes, too... TWIZLER!! Mmmmm..."

Harry fished his bong-wand from under his robe, and conjured once more.

"Cheezy snacks and sweet licorice treat
Quench our hunger and let us eat
Forego quarters, nickels and dimes
Add vandalism and theft to our list of crimes!"


Harry took a healthy hit off the bubbling bong and blew the green smoke into the coin slot of the machine as he finished the incantation. The vending machine bucked and shook, the plexi-glass face cracking and all the contents shimmying and quaking, tumbling into the receptacle below!

"JACKPOT!" Ron cheered, diving in with both hands, scooping out packages of snackages.

Harry was suddenly stunned, transfixed as he stared, stoned-faced, at his reflection in the cracked and shattered plexi-glass face of the machine.

"pppoooottttthhheeeeeaaaaaddd.... Harry Pooooottttthhheeaaadd..." his reflection twisted and warped, and spoke to him.

"What the f**k?!" Harry blinked, chomping on a Twizler, which reminded him of... "Herpes! $hit! We gotta go find her!"


__________________
'The future is not set...'
'I'll be back...'
'Hasta la vista, baby!'
'I'm back!'
'Come with me if you want to live!'
'You're terminated!'

Old Post May 14th, 2004 06:26 PM
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[email protected]
Confront the darkness

Gender: Unspecified
Location:

I like this thread shifty

Old Post May 15th, 2004 04:18 AM
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Clovie

Gender: Female
Location: lost in your dreams

i wanna mooooore... shifty


__________________

tricked me once - shame on you, tricked me twice - shame on me

Old Post May 15th, 2004 06:58 AM
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*Georgina_A*
those technicolour eyes

Gender: Female
Location: high and dry

Me too...shifty


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I'm a highschool lover....
& you're my favourite flavour.

Old Post May 15th, 2004 07:38 AM
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Confront the darkness

Gender: Unspecified
Location:

Excellent shifty..............

Old Post May 15th, 2004 09:17 AM
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Syren
dreaming

Gender: Female
Location: every which way but loose

Ron jumped and looked at Harry, slightly cross-eyed.

"What? What's wrong with Hermy?" ((Don't like her name, sorry dude, it's meant to be more of a stoner story))

Harry rolled his eyes and sighed "Don't you remember what just happened in Potions? Slate's probably still laying on the floor, dreaming away!!"

Ron burst out laughing as he recalled the events of 10 minutes before.

Harry grabbed Ron by the back of his shirt and dragged him along the corridor, still laughing hysterically. They stumbled around the corner and up the staircase towards the Spliffindor Common Room just as Ramafist stomped into sight, stopping in front of the ruined vender, still yanking Hermy along by her hair.

She let out a screech, "Get the hell off of me, you stinking pimp wannabe!! I did not sell any of your filth, therefore I have no money for you!!" She kicked him hard in the left shin and as he yelped in pain and crashed to the floor, she spat in his face and hotfooted it round the corner and up the stairs.

"B!tch!! Get your skinny runt ass back here, and give me my money!!!" Ramafist's face slowly turned a dark shade of purple and he stood up, seething. "When I find you I'm gonna do things to places you didn't know existed! Whore!!"

He marched back towards the Dinner Hall, in search of his first satisfactory meal.

Meanwhile, Hermy had reached the entrance to the common room and she kicked open the portrait. Climbing through, she flung a filthy look around at all the students monging out, and yelled, "Where's Ron? Harry?? I'm gonna kick their puny little asses!!"

Ron poked his head aound the door at the bottom of the dorm staircase and smiled widely at Hermy.

"Heeey, sexy little minx!! Are you yelling for me?" He grinned and loped towards her, oblivious of the enraged look on her face and of all the students in the room making frantic gestures at him to run for his life. As he reached her, she smiled sweetly and chucked him under the chin.

"I've just spent a lovely half an hour being dragged around by a smelly, slimy ex convivt, looking for money that does not exist, and when said smelly ex convict finds me he's going to show me things I've never seen. Apparently. And as appealing as that may sound to a guy like you, I find the thought nauseating."

She smiled again and waited for Ron to catch on.

He allowed a confused look to cross his face, then grinned again.

"So, um...... you're not happy then?"

Snarling, Hermy flung herself at Ron, slamming him into the fireplace. She pummelled him and as he curled up into a ball, trying to protect his balls, small whimpers emitting from his lips, she grabbed a candlestick off the mantelpiece. She raised it into the air and was about to bring it crashing down onto Ron's head when the portrait hole crashed open again and Ramafist threw himself into the Common Room.

"I told you I'd find you again, you whining little cow!" He started towards her, but Hermy turned and glared at him, her face white and eyes blazing. Ramafist faltered, eyes moving from the murderous look on her face, to the candlestick still gripped in her shaking hand.

"And?" She whispered, the word hanging in the silence of the room.

"Well, like I said, before. You know, downstairs......." He stopped again and threw his thumb over his shoulder, face paling as she took a step towards him.

"I heard what you said. I know what you want. I'm now very frustrated, hot, sweaty and female. Do you really want to continue f.ucking with me, or would you prefer to come to a compromise??" She looked back at Ron, who was still curled up in the foetal position, groaning.

Ramafist smiled, and held out his hand. "Yeah, I'll compromise. On the fact that you get my money, I take my money, we shag, then I leave." Satisfied with himself, he threw his head back and laughed shrilly.

Suddenly, the portrait hole swung open a third time, and Ginny Weedley hopped through, swung her satchel at Ramafist's head and caught him a fatal blow on the temple.

"Compromise that!! @sshole!" Ramafist didn't even have a chance to turn and see his attacker before he fell heavily to the floor, eyes still wide in shock.

"Gin!! Girl!!" Hermy shrieked and threw herself at Ginny. "Like, oh.....my......gawd!!! Where have you been?"

Ginny hugged Hermy tightly and opened her satchel, allowing the contents to drop to the floor. Hermy's eyes lit up as seven nine-bars fell out.

"Shit, honey, you got skills......"


__________________


ThorinWoofer

Old Post May 15th, 2004 12:09 PM
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Laviera_j
Kadehadaire_Mage_:)

Gender: Female
Location:

That was good - I am just gonna keep reading and see what happens...


__________________
Lava_wacky_j

Work that magic!
Work that magic!

All at the KMC tig! BOPrecruit16,Raven Guardia, charmaine,Exa, Tela,Nabokonir, cheekymunkey,airangel,tassie,ADSkinner,airangel429
,Eez! Everybody!

Old Post May 15th, 2004 04:04 PM
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Syren
dreaming

Gender: Female
Location: every which way but loose

I've got the block again, I keep spilling loads out then getting stuck, let's hope Rick returns soon big grin


__________________


ThorinWoofer

Old Post May 15th, 2004 04:17 PM
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Clovie

Gender: Female
Location: lost in your dreams

shifty

can i ask if hermy is bi?????


__________________

tricked me once - shame on you, tricked me twice - shame on me

Old Post May 15th, 2004 06:54 PM
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Syren
dreaming

Gender: Female
Location: every which way but loose

Why yes, yes she is shifty

eek!

CLOVIE??? ARE YOU???

Me too embarrasment


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ThorinWoofer

Old Post May 15th, 2004 07:06 PM
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Clovie

Gender: Female
Location: lost in your dreams

i'm nor sure confused if a am....
i was just curious...


__________________

tricked me once - shame on you, tricked me twice - shame on me

Old Post May 15th, 2004 07:11 PM
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crAZRick
I'm God here!

Gender: Male
Location: United States

quote:
Originally posted by Syren
Ron jumped and looked at Harry, slightly cross-eyed.

"What? What's wrong with Hermy?" ((Don't like her name, sorry dude, it's meant to be more of a stoner story))



No problem... call her what you will. I just thought since her real name was Hermione, and since it's a general stereotype that any bisexual stoner female would sell her body and perform lewd sex acts for money for drugs, thereby inviting all manner of STDs and other various nasties, changing her name to Herpionme, Herpes for short, was fitting...

quote:
Originally posted by the great goddess, Syren
Suddenly, the portrait hole swung open a third time, and Ginny Weedley hopped through, swung her satchel at Ramafist's head and caught him a fatal blow on the temple.

"Compromise that!! @sshole!" Ramafist didn't even have a chance to turn and see his attacker before he fell heavily to the floor, eyes still wide in shock.

"Gin!! Girl!!" Hermy shrieked and threw herself at Ginny. "Like, oh.....my......gawd!!! Where have you been?"

Ginny hugged Hermy tightly and opened her satchel, allowing the contents to drop to the floor. Hermy's eyes lit up as seven nine-bars fell out.

"Shit, honey, you got skills......"


Who's Ginny? Ron's sister? I really don't know any of these characters too well, to keep making up story.. I know Harry and Hermione, and Ron (he's the redhead kid right?) but all the others are blurs.. maybe if you list the characters and the actors who play them, so I have a reference? I know the story from previews and the general background, but not the details of who's who, by name, but could place them by face or actor name...

I know there's one played by Alan Rickman, and another old dude played by Richard Harris or something like that.. that's about all I recall...

more help, will lead to more story, I promise
smile smokin' eek! laughing rolling on floor laughing

quote:
originally posted by cLoVi€
i'm nor sure if a am....
i was just curious...


Not sure if you're bi-sexual? like, more research needs to be done or something? (I'm available...) Or, are you saying that you are 'just curious' in more ways than one?? I am just curious about that, not about my own sexuality... Happy Dance


__________________
'The future is not set...'
'I'll be back...'
'Hasta la vista, baby!'
'I'm back!'
'Come with me if you want to live!'
'You're terminated!'

Old Post May 15th, 2004 11:25 PM
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Clovie

Gender: Female
Location: lost in your dreams

quote:
Originally posted by SlickRick69
Not sure if you're bi-sexual? like, more research needs to be done or something? (I'm available...) Or, are you saying that you are 'just curious' in more ways than one?? I am just curious about that, not about my own sexuality... Happy Dance


omg confused

i do know nothing about anything.
i'm empty shollow and boring.


__________________

tricked me once - shame on you, tricked me twice - shame on me

Old Post May 16th, 2004 07:03 AM
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Syren
dreaming

Gender: Female
Location: every which way but loose

Clovie --> You're such a nut!! laughing

Rick --> No probs hun......

Ginny Weedley = Ron's youngest sister, the family are Mr and Mrs W, Bill (works at Gringotts Wizard Bank), Charlie (working with dragons), Percy (complete brown-nose), Fred & George (twins), Ron and Ginny. In order from oldest to youngest.

Dean Thomas, Neville Longbottom and Seamus Finnigan = three boys in Harry and Ron's Dorm.

Alan Rickman played Prof. Snape (Slate in this story)

If you refer to the character list on the first page that should help, and for future reference I think you're right about Herpes wink


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ThorinWoofer

Old Post May 16th, 2004 01:22 PM
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Clovie

Gender: Female
Location: lost in your dreams

stick out tongue confused

can this story go on......?????


__________________

tricked me once - shame on you, tricked me twice - shame on me

Old Post May 16th, 2004 01:26 PM
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Syren
dreaming

Gender: Female
Location: every which way but loose

I'm taking a break, I don't want to write just for the sake of it, coz it comes out shit, so I'll wait till I get the bug again big grin


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ThorinWoofer

Old Post May 16th, 2004 02:18 PM
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Clovie

Gender: Female
Location: lost in your dreams

ok....
i hope it will be rather soon... roll eyes (sarcastic)


__________________

tricked me once - shame on you, tricked me twice - shame on me

Old Post May 16th, 2004 02:22 PM
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crAZRick
I'm God here!

Gender: Male
Location: United States

"Herpes, luv, are you alright?" Harry and Ron stomped up to the girls, Harry shoving past Ron and nudging Ginny away from Herpiome. Harry looked at her appraisingly, caressing her bruised, red cheek, wiping away the tears which trickled down, then continuing his appraisal. His hands were so soft, his touch so gentle, Herpes wobbled, weak in the knees as Harry's fingers brushed over her shoulders and down her battered arms.

Harry stepped in closer, until their chests were touching, and his feet were on either side of hers, and he leaned in and pulled her close.

"Harry Potthead!" Herpes cried, as their bodies collided. "That BETTER be your bong wand poking me from under your cloak!!" she looked at him crossly for a moment, then giggled and slipped her hand under Harry's cloak.

Harry's eye brows fluttered and his cheeks flushed with embarrassment, but he got that last laugh-- it wasn't his bong wand after all!!

"Oh, dear me! Harry..." before Herpes could say another word, Harry's lips pressed against hers, his tongue dancing over hers, while his hands explored a bit under her flimsy robe... Nobody mentioned how their breath stunk like Cheetos and cigarettes, neither of them noticed how dry and chapped their lips were from all that smoking and toking... in that moment, time stood still, and there was not another soul in the world but Harry and his Herpes---

"GET A ROOM!!" Ron and Ginny gasped together, and the kiss that lasted forever finally broke.

"Oh, uhh... right..." Harry mumbled, "A room... it is about time I should show you that thing I was going to show you, in my quarters, remember, Herpes?"

"Oh yes!" her eyes lit up as they locked on the obvious bulge beneath his robes. "THAT thing you need to show me... right right... I shall have something for you to see as well, Harry Potthead..." she winked, and twirled her skirt around her knees in a high flutter, high enough that Harry could swear he saw...

"Bush!" Ron roared. "I should show Ginny the 'special bush' we have been growing in Greenhouse 3! While you 2 tend to your business, we Weedleys will tend to the ganja garden..."

"Good idea, Ron Weedley!" Herpes nodded, taking Harry by the hand and leading him to the stair to the boys' sleeping quarters. "You must be coming down some, if your starting to actually THINK straight again..."

"Oh... right..." Ron sighed. "No bother, I shall have to roll another fatty fresh from the vine... Mmmmmm..."

"Remember..." Herpes warned. "Don't touch my special secret stash, or I shall have to castrate you!!"

Ron gulped, and Harry whispered in Herpes ear, "What about me? Will I be able to touch all your special secret places, luv?"

Herpes just purrrrrrrred and rubbed her hand along Harry's arm, then pulled him hurriedly up the stair...


__________________
'The future is not set...'
'I'll be back...'
'Hasta la vista, baby!'
'I'm back!'
'Come with me if you want to live!'
'You're terminated!'

Old Post May 16th, 2004 03:19 PM
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