i'm not that twisted and obsessed with drinks. although i love to drink sodas. i'm guessing you have never read the book. best book of all time in my opinion.
i feel like i am broken
down on my knees and my luck
the heat searing all of my open wounds
the wind thrashing harsh words by my ears
my mind feels so numb to everything around me
not deft enough to hold me
nor protect me from the brutalities of the world
i feel like i don't have purpose here anymore
for i am broken
broken beyond all repair
for i have been shattered too many times
all of my thoughts are conflicted with one another
i just can't decide things for myself anymore
but i don't want others to attempt the impossible
they can only understand but never truly there
where i am now
i rather hold people at arm's length
than to load my burden upon them
and drag them down with me
to wherever i am heading now
i just feel broken
no one else deserves this depression
i must do this alone now
so long my friends and leave me in peace
until i can find what i have been missing out on
or what i lost so long ago after i was broken
you may all fear that i'm asking for death
but i would never wish that
i just need my space to clear
and make my own in the world
so it would be kind of you to just leave me alone now
i'm just too broken to care now
if i die from this crusade of mine
if darkness is the result
than i'm just fine with that
no more feelings to cut and stab away at my esteem
feel my battle wounds come undone
like my seems are unraveling
i don't want anyone to see this
it's not their place to judge me
i can handle this on my own now
no thank you to the elders
i'm a survivor that will be broken no more
Writer's Note: This poem/song is a play on "Broken" by Seether f/ Amy Lee. I had that song stuck in my head all day and sung the lyrics to this poem i wrote the same way the song is sung. not out loud of course, in my head! btw, this poem isn't all about me. it's general and i hope that people can relate. ^.^
I'll put this poem, "Broken", into song format later! Enjoy everyone!
aw! thanks for caring lava! *hugs* dont' worry, i really don't want to kill myself. got too many things left to do, people to meet and hang with, etc etc etc!!
now here comes my new song....
Hate Myself
I hate my life
I hate my life
I hate myself
But, yet, I don’t want another life
I’ve come too far to throw it all away now
Yet, I despise the mad world that I’ve created
I feel like I am out of control
No longer can I hold anything in my hands
Neither can I see what’s before me
I’ve been deprived of my view to the world
No windows to stare longingly out of
My soul is famished
Starving for what is more
The mind feels so damn clouded
With all these conflicting thoughts
That I can’t seem to sort out
Never will I find an answer to them all
They all want out, but I won’t let them
Holding them back will aide
Whatever sanity that I have left to hold onto
My sanctuary, my safe haven to be a brief peace of mind
Had been destroyed so long ago
Leaving only the barren fields and flora to tell their sad tale
Of a person who once resembled something human
I’m not exactly sure when I lost it all
All I do know is that my sanity and innocence have been a long time dead
All of this aimless wandering must come to an end some day
For every little needle of shame
That I feel pricking my weak flesh
Is pure and living torture
That is what I have been resorted to
The pain and suffering that I caused
Has come back to haunt me
And there it will remain
Like an everlasting curse
No longer can I deny the victims
Lie to myself and explain everything away
To delay the lashes that much longer
But they come forth anyways
In never ending waves of sorrow
Is this guilt I feel and why should I care?
All I have ever known was myself
Breaking down never being an option
But why do I even bother to continue
This rage against the machine to feel
To feel what it’s like to be truly human
Like all the rest of mankind
What is so wrong about that?
I hate my life
I hate my life
I hate myself
But, yet, still I find no solution
So I will continue to wander this earth
To prevent myself from sinking further into my mad world
Forever, for all eternity as far as I can see
I will always hate my life
Hate my life
Myself
Leave me to burn
I write things v e r y sl oooo w l y... Well not really... Just that I'm busy these days so I don't get a chance to write as much as I probably should.
i always have loads of time on my hand before i do hw or when i'm supposed to do it during school and at home. most of the time the words are easily flowing.
May 26th, 2004 04:59 AM
expand your mind while you still can before the crack and psychotics get to your head! 
Lava_wacky_j
dont' worry, i really don't want to kill myself. got too many things left to do, people to meet and hang with, etc etc etc!! 
