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Poetry Personified
Started by: Syren

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Trickster
True KMC Jester

Gender: Male
Location: United Kingdom

I liek your poem, especially the way you've portrayed the theme.

However, I'm not sure if there is a constant structure (if this is dliberate, sorry embarrasment) and I think the last line of the poem somehow changes the mood of the rest of the poem.


__________________
"If clowns warred on monkeys, and the monkeys had guns, and were trained to use them, who would win?"

Death only gives another set of choices.

He who dies with the most toys. Still dies.

Old Post Mar 19th, 2005 12:05 AM
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Syren
dreaming

Gender: Female
Location: every which way but loose

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Da Moose
I miss you...
I dreamed of you last night
It was soft and quiet and peaceful
I FELT you there - knew you were with me
My heart was whole, my mind at ease.
And then I awoke...
To the emptiness that permeates my soul
The void you once filled
I can fool myself no longer
I miss you...
MY heart aches without your presence...
My existence dulled by the knowledge of what could have been, but now, never will be.
Our dream died before it even began, doomed by distance and circumstance.
I want the wounds to heal, but I can't let go.
I miss you...


This is beautiful... really well structured and the ending is perfect; it's very like my own style of writing, I tend to be quite repetetive as I feel this gives good balance to poetry. Thanks for sharing honey yes


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ThorinWoofer

Old Post Mar 19th, 2005 04:39 PM
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DaX-Man
FutureSatan

Gender: Male
Location: Canada

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Trickster
I think the last line of the poem somehow changes the mood of the rest of the poem.


It's supposed to do that it's a false hope, I will hold your secrets but you'll never hear mine smile


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Old Post Mar 20th, 2005 06:03 AM
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Syren
dreaming

Gender: Female
Location: every which way but loose

This thread is specifically for poems to be used by artists in order for them to produce pictures using their own reactions to the poems. If you want to post your own poetry please make yourselves a thread of your own big grin


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ThorinWoofer

Old Post Mar 31st, 2005 10:42 AM
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Trickster
True KMC Jester

Gender: Male
Location: United Kingdom

Nobody is reading my stuff sad


__________________
"If clowns warred on monkeys, and the monkeys had guns, and were trained to use them, who would win?"

Death only gives another set of choices.

He who dies with the most toys. Still dies.

Old Post Apr 21st, 2005 04:21 PM
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Ou Be Low hoo
Restricted

Gender: Male
Location: The Universal Church of Ou

Account Restricted

I'd just like to state that I am bored-out-of-my-brains from reading stuff about how bad things are all the time. People here seem to think that the only way to be creative, expressive and 'worthy' is by being morose.

Shakespeare, Keats, Joyce, Dante and Byron weren't down-in-the-dumps all the time...


__________________
Come, my child...Your life begins here...

Ou, Ou, Ou is all you Need...

Last edited by Ou Be Low hoo on Apr 29th, 2005 at 05:43 AM

Old Post Apr 29th, 2005 05:41 AM
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lil bitchiness
-

Gender: Female
Location: Limassol, Cyprus

Moderator

Preach it!

Euripides was pretty pessimistic though, yet so good...so so sooo good.


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في هذا العالم ثلاثة أشخاص أفسدوا البشرية : راعي غنم , طبيب و راكب الجمال , و راكب الجمال هو أسوأ نشال و أسوأ مشعوذ بين الثلاثة

Old Post Apr 29th, 2005 09:38 AM
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shaber
schizoid

Gender: Male
Location: Miragia

Dikwv de douvai sophismatwv kakwv


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Old Post Apr 29th, 2005 11:05 AM
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Syren
dreaming

Gender: Female
Location: every which way but loose

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Ou Be Low hoo
I'd just like to state that I am bored-out-of-my-brains from reading stuff about how bad things are all the time. People here seem to think that the only way to be creative, expressive and 'worthy' is by being morose.

Shakespeare, Keats, Joyce, Dante and Byron weren't down-in-the-dumps all the time...


Good point, but surely if an individual feels the need to express themselves by being morose and depressive, then this should be respected?


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ThorinWoofer

Old Post May 8th, 2005 11:36 PM
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Trickster
True KMC Jester

Gender: Male
Location: United Kingdom

I find it too hard to write seriously in rhyme. You always end up with stupid lines just so the rhyme works.


__________________
"If clowns warred on monkeys, and the monkeys had guns, and were trained to use them, who would win?"

Death only gives another set of choices.

He who dies with the most toys. Still dies.

Old Post May 9th, 2005 03:28 PM
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Ou Be Low hoo
Restricted

Gender: Male
Location: The Universal Church of Ou

Account Restricted

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Syren
Good point, but surely if an individual feels the need to express themselves by being morose and depressive, then this should be respected?


Of course! But, do people really feel morose and depressed ALL THE TIME!?!?!


__________________
Come, my child...Your life begins here...

Ou, Ou, Ou is all you Need...

Old Post May 10th, 2005 04:52 AM
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DreamingWarrior
Knight Errant

Gender: Male
Location: Holding on tight, never lettin go!

Word bro. Very very true, hard hittin lyricism.

quote: (post)
Originally posted by English Moosette
Have you ever had a story you wanted to tell
bout how your life growing up was a living hell
Bout a mother and a father who hated each other
turned you against your own father and mother
you love them both but just cant choose
for thinking the other on you might lose
how bout a fist fight at night
in front of yo 5 year old son that aint right
he was in the other room you started to stay
but the yells echoes in his brain for days
and days living this lie for years
now becoming his father is something he fears
lovin a woman who loves him the same
just made him want to change his name
in school he had friends wanted to be like them
until one hoped in the bathroom to beat on him
and then he felt like crawlin in a crack
cause another shoved a fk'n pencil in his back
until it cracked and broke the whole lead off
when he talked back everyone wanted him to be soft
he grew big and fat but that didnt change
the bullies got bigger and stronger and strange
they wanted someone different to bully their prey was me
i joined a computer class so they would let me be
i had a new small group of friends who showed me how
to make the bullies fall back without hits or pows
without a fist to shove em but a hand to love em
show them there was a lord up above em
i left school went to work lived with my dad
but something inside me was feelin bad
my mom was at home all alone
see i had left her on her own
to take care of my g'parents who fussed and fought
more hell they gave her the more hell she bought
my dad and i got into a fight
about money troubles i said Yeah right
like im gonna pay all these bills
turned to live with mom and left the hills
my dad got sick and left the state
my whole heart fell like a heavyweight
he went to the hospital and all in this quake
seems my dad died of heart break
all this hate i had inside turned into sorrow
hey anyone got a tissue to borrow?
my life expreiences made me who i am today
and i wouldnt change em in anyway
i love who i am in this home without the range
and the guy you see will never change
i'll post my pics and chat in this forum
and wont be too boring to die of bordem
this is a poem not a freestyle of smack
and its about the history of a man named Justjakk



Word life by Justjakk


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Sent from heaven to raise some hell.

Old Post May 16th, 2005 03:08 PM
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Coldfire
<3 <3 <3

Gender: Female
Location: Vancouver, Canada

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Ou Be Low hoo
Of course! But, do people really feel morose and depressed ALL THE TIME!?!?!


Nope. I don't even feel depressed most of the time, but for some reason I just wrote about depressing topics. No idea why really erm


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Old Post May 20th, 2005 02:48 AM
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Trickster
True KMC Jester

Gender: Male
Location: United Kingdom

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Coldfire
Nope. I don't even feel depressed most of the time, but for some reason I just wrote about depressing topics. No idea why really erm


That's why I do it too - sometimes it's difficult to write happy when you're not. It's easy to write depressed stuff.


__________________
"If clowns warred on monkeys, and the monkeys had guns, and were trained to use them, who would win?"

Death only gives another set of choices.

He who dies with the most toys. Still dies.

Old Post May 21st, 2005 12:48 PM
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Syren
dreaming

Gender: Female
Location: every which way but loose

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Ou Be Low hoo
Of course! But, do people really feel morose and depressed ALL THE TIME!?!?!


No, of course not. Just because you're the Original Gummy Bear roll eyes (sarcastic)


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ThorinWoofer

Old Post May 21st, 2005 09:28 PM
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Coldfire
<3 <3 <3

Gender: Female
Location: Vancouver, Canada

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Trickster
That's why I do it too - sometimes it's difficult to write happy when you're not. It's easy to write depressed stuff.



Yes, exactly right. It is easier sometimes, even though I'm not a depressed person. Got into happier poems lately though smile


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Old Post May 23rd, 2005 02:13 AM
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Captive
yourz truly

Gender: Female
Location: A location

She calls for help
And nobody listens
She gives up hope
Because nobody cares

They think they know
Why shes feeling this way
But noone understands her
Because shes hiding

Hiding behind a mask
That she wears 24/7
She tries to hide it
The pain she feels

She thinks shes a failure
And its becoming clearer
That she has no hope, no future
And lastly...nobody.


__________________

Join the Darkside!

"You can not love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself."

[[myspace.com/dlshs1]]

Old Post Jun 3rd, 2005 03:56 AM
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DaX-Man
FutureSatan

Gender: Male
Location: Canada

Freedom

7 months has passed us by
Many days I've made you cry
But those days are done
Even the days that were fun

Now you are free
This is the end
There is no you and me
I'm just a friend

It's great to be single
More time for me
I'm all alone
But so glad I'm free


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FEAR ME

Old Post Jun 3rd, 2005 06:13 AM
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DaX-Man
FutureSatan

Gender: Male
Location: Canada

Hide N' Seek

Let's play a game
I'll hide, you seek
It may sound lame
But dare not peek

If you look
The game will end
Play by the brook
And the riverbend

Hide wherever you want
Wherever you go
I will find you
You run too slow

Tag you're it
Now count to ten
No? You quit?
That means I WIN!


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FEAR ME

Old Post Jun 3rd, 2005 06:15 AM
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DaX-Man
FutureSatan

Gender: Male
Location: Canada

Love Is Just A Word

It has no meaning
It has no feelings
It has no pain
It's just a word

I've said it before
I'll say it again
But not to you
Because we're through

This word I say
Won't be repeated
Not tommorow or today
I just don't feel it

It has no meaning
It has no hurt
It has no feelings
It's just a word

Love is gone
Love is hurt
Love is dead
Love is just a word!


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FEAR ME

Old Post Jun 3rd, 2005 06:19 AM
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