My persistant foot steps lead me towards the epicenter of a now bustling metropolis filled with blinding lights that shone like the sun from my distant memories of my mortal days. The once neglected and peaceful streets of New Orleans was now occupied by many life forms filled with joy and lust for the harmonious, yet pitchy tones, of the local town's musicians and for the buzz of the celebration that made their living soul's dance and sway about the obstacles of other party goers. I could never recall my quiet, old hometown being this full of life and yet, grind against my nerves like so when the waves of song bounced off the earthened toned walls to my delicate ears. Then again, it has been over three hundred years since I had last set foot upon this land of the free called America.
Author's Commentary (to Jenni)
Well, that's my story bit for now, too. Let me know what you think and also what could happen right after this bit. As for my idea of what could happen next, is that Louis walks further into town, exploring and feeding his inner curiosity to learn more. Also, since it's crowded, he would briefly meet Cassandra, if you please. Maybe, Louis would accidentally bump into her or see some rude drunk bump into her, causing her to drop her belongings of whatever she was carrying. So, then, he goes over and lends a helping hand. Cassandra grabs things up in a rush, thanks him, and then hurries off to wherever she may be going.
Remember, this first encounter is brief, so Louis won't fall for her right away, after all, Claudia had passed away recently. She's just some stranger he happens to see and help. Since Cassandra has a unique hair color, that would catch Louis' eyes. As a minor detail, he would take in her beauty and scent, but nothing beyond that. Building respect, trust, and a bond will come later. For now, this is just a brief encounter. So, what do you make of this, do you agree?
thanks boppy.......whoops.....sorry about that....you can change it if you want.......or, maybe we can have the story from different peoples point of views
understood..
__________________
Madness, as you know, is like gravity...all it takes is a little push.
love after dark and crimson rose sound lovely to me for a title. can't wait to hear your next bit!
switching pov's...maybe...i don't know. i think we'll just stick to louis for now. is that okay? unless that conflicts with your story bit that you mentioned...
i would love to call our story "crimson rose". more vampire sounding like and dark love like. am i right? it has a nice ring is what i'm saying. i know the other title does to, but i had it pegged for the van helsing fic that i was going to work on for a prequel to the movie and all... btw, how are you coming along on your story bit? remember, it's not that hard and doesn't take that much time and don't overexert/kill yourself, trying to come up and type up a story bit. you don't have to make it as long as mine was.
Through a thick crowd of unknown people, my eyes found focus on a small noisy tavern. Dim lights gave the tavern a lively, welcoming look. Laughter echoed around, and the smiling faces of people sent a small smile to my heart, as I realized I was glad to be back in my beloved New Orleans. Abruptly, my gaze was interrupted as someone bumped into me. I looked down and found a woman picking up her dropped belongings. I bent down and picked up a black bag of hers. She looked up at me suddenly, “Oh, I’m so sorry, I was rushing, I did not see you.” Her midnight blue eyes looked at me deeply, waiting for a response. I looked at her carefully. I noticed her hair was unique indeed: long and jet black in color, with dark blue streaks framing her beautiful face. “You are forgiven,” I said, smiling gently. She returned the smile, taking her bag as I offered it to her. “Thankyou, but I must be going now.” She got up slowly and turned around, her lengthy violet dress twirling smoothly around her as she hastily walked away.
btw: that 'you are forgiven' bit by louis, was only meant to be a small joke of his,......just saying, incase he came off too snobbish.
__________________
Madness, as you know, is like gravity...all it takes is a little push.
Last edited by Roulette on Sep 25th, 2004 at 09:13 AM
sounds fine to me. alright, i would like to run an idea by you first. before i post the story thread, we'll post our story bits here for now until we like what we got going and all for a time or just post our story bits here, approve and agree on them then i'll post them in the story thread. how does that sound?
RagingSilent: That's quite alright, Jenni! I knew right away that he wasn't being a snob and acting more like the immortal he is. / Anyways, I hope you enjoy what I wrote here, for I got quite detailed into this scene and just had fun with my bit!
I watched the young woman go, gracefully making her way around the lively people occupying the bustling tavern towards the entrance to a street filled with party goers. My gaze was trained upon the ebony locks that complimented the wild streaks of midnight blue framing her face, soon becoming bewildered by such a unique sight. It puzzled me as to how her hair came to be like that. I knew that people could use special dyes to tint sheets of cloth and the like...but hair as well? Seems a little absurd to me...
As my subconscious continued to ponder this mystery, I finally got my feet to have the sense to move once more. I made my way through the crowd until I approached the wooden counter and found a place to sit upon one of the tall legged chairs. The lamps dangling from the low ceiling casted fire light down upon the shiney counter and reflecting it about, illuminating the counter area. Taverns were never this decent up until a century ago, depending on the location. I remembered them used to having rough wooden surfaces that have faded to a depressing shade of a greyish brown from being exposed to too much sunlight, no ceramic tiles covering the floors, and lamp lights were of few in supply, making the taverns of old, dim and grim in appearance.
I sat here patiently, as the bar tender made his way down the line of drunken customers requesting for something more or stronger than what they had just drained, talking in a slurred tone, jumbling their words here and there. As the man did so, every so often, he would shake his head in shame, probably at the sight of seeing how drunk some of these people were getting to wash their pain away or trying to out do someone in a fool's compeitition. Mentally, I sympathized with his empathy.
A moment passed, and the bar tender finally came round to me and asked me what I would like in a fake cheery tone which I could tell was underlined with exhaustion from the days work and that he didn't care much what I ordered as long as it provided him income for the night. Since he seemed tired, I decided not to bother looking at the menu posted on the wooden collum dividing the shelves behind him of mild and strong alcohol based beverages. I requested a mildly strong whiskey that would somewhat burn as it went down my throat. Although I haven't needed any liquids to sustain me other than blood for nearly two hundred years, I thought it would be nice to have a small celebration upon my grand, low profiled return to my beloved hometown of New Orleans.
The bar tender soon came back with my order and placed it before me, without much ceremony, so I paid him quickly as possible, to get him out of my sight and vice versa. I took the glass in one hand and took a small sip, for I wasn't used to dining on anything alcoholic nor a whiskey since I was mortal and wasting away my family's fortune and reputation by betting it all away and spending my evening's with local prostitudes. The golden brown liquid hardly stung at all as it poured down my esphophogus. I hardly had to concern myself with the after effects of a drink such as this, for I can no longer get drunk off of this like I used to. Soon, I was able to drain the mug with ease and in peace, for no one would disturb me. No prosititudes to select upon a whim and no vampire would follow me out of the bar as I made my way home.
I sighed lightly, in relief that I would not be bothered by anyone. There was a comfort in that thought, as I felt that at this time in my endless life, I did want to be alone. Alone with my pain. I tapped my glass twice on the counter to signal to the bar keeper that I desired another drink. He slowly made his way to me, a false smile planted on his face as he asked me, “The same?” I nodded my head in reply. I watched him in the distance, pouring my drink carefully, the sweet liquor seeming tempting from the time I had to wait. He came back with my drink, placing it on the counter. I paid him as he slid the glass infront of me, a bitter look on his face as he grimly made his way to another demanding customer. I stared at the glass before me, then lifted it to my mouth to consume completely. I closed my eyes and placed my head on the counter, a familiar voice echoing through my mind. Two luminous sapphire eyes sparkled in my memory. ‘Such a beautiful face,’ I thought to myself. I instantly opened my eyes, blinking repeatedly as though I had awoken from a dream.
‘Just another face, another soul to forget.’ I sighed heavily at that thought, gradually getting up and shaking away the memory of the unknown woman. I looked at my surroundings. So many cheerful people, enjoying this moment of their lives when they can be one more face in a crowd of happiness. I grew somewhat envious at this sight, a harsh frown making its way to my face. I yearned for bliss, the bliss that these mortals were all too familiar with. I roughly pushed my way through the crowd, eager to escape these people that seemed to be taunting me. I reached the doorway, swiftly making my way through the cold night I knew all too well.
-well, that’s my bit, hope it’s ok.
I just wanted to explain that bit by Louis: ‘Just another face, another soul to forget’ – this is to show that Louis was hurt by love, (several times) of course referring to Claudia, whom he loved dearly, yet lost so tragically, and also the same with his wife and infant. So, because he has lost so many loves in his life, he thinks the same will happen with Cassandra, he thinks that he will love her, then lose her, so he will have to forget her. Although, yes, you did explain to me that he doesn’t fall for her right away, but he does appear to have a strong attraction to her uniqueness, so, he does not want to fall for her, because he thinks he’ll get hurt.
- Hopefully, that made sense…lol……
- However, if you do not like that bit in the story by Louis, then you can change it or, you can tell me if you don’t like it, and I can change it….either way, tiz all good
I’ve also thought of some titles, just as suggestions, you don’t have to use one.
- Smile for a new tomorrow
- Happiness of a forgotten past
- Torn Angel
- Silence of the night
- Silent dreams
- Broken hearts mended
- The torn prince
- Dreams of tomorrow
- Dreams of the night
Boppy, I also wanted to ask you what would happen in the plot…..just a brief outline of what your plans were for the story. I know that he will fall in love with Cassandra, but, what will happen in between?….just asking, because I might get a mental block when it’s my turn to write next, lol……your ideas would help tremendously
__________________
Madness, as you know, is like gravity...all it takes is a little push.
Last edited by Roulette on Sep 28th, 2004 at 05:21 AM
glad we got that cleared up also, check out the story thread that i posted earlier. hope you like and are happy with it. i'll answer your questions in your new story bit and come up with mine later tonight or tomorrow. sound cool with you, jenni?
right now, savage garden's "i knew i loved you" song is playing on the fm 101.3, my boom box right now. not a bad song. depending on how many times i've heard it in a certain day. i was about to reread all of our story bits to date, and thought the song added a nice touch, background music to the story. cheesy sounding i know. i'm just being strange. as always. anyways...i'll post more content and so forth soon!
I understand completely and I loved that you made that point in the story and commentary. Also, enjoyed reading your story bit. If I had done that scene, probably won't sound half as good as yours does. The intensity and pains of lost love and pains of getting hurt again. I'm not good at doing romance type of stories, but I'm doing my best. Although I love romance/drama fics/stories, it's hard to get the emotions, mentality, and love across just perfectly, smoothly. You know what I mean? By the way, your story bits are always perfectly fine, so I haven't any objections as of yet. So no need to worry your pretty little head off. lol
Although you mentioned some wonderful titles that could fit the story, I had my heart set with Crimson Rose. It makes so much, metaphorically. It's probably not necessary for me to explain the title for I know you would get it and all, besides we both write poems with tons of metaphors to spare! Since Crimson implies our story is a vampire story and Rose can symbolize love, I was thinking of making the rose seem symbolic. The rose bud is closed at first, symbolizing Louis and Cassandra's guardedness at attempting to love again. Then, the thorns could stand for their emotional defenses and stuff. Over time, as they get to know each other and fall in love, the flower will slowly blossom as their love does.
I was thinking that we could have roses in the story, in the sense that maybe Cassandra grows them in her garden and over the course of the story, the flower's condition will coordinate with their relationship. It will blossom when they are deeply in love and wilt to a degree when their relationship becomes rocky. A few weeks ago, when Mrs. Wong's Brit/Lit class, whom I T.A. for, was still reading Agatha Christie's And Then There Were None, she explained the concepts in the story. How the whether can coordinate and foreshadow certain events in the story. I'm so glad that I remember that concept and for the fact that I'm taing for a brit/lit class. That class, I can do hw, chill and pick up tips for my stories and how to structure without actually have to take the class and do the assignments. When I had originally signed up for that t.a. class, I didn't realize the benefits at the time! What a glorious conceidence! How grand ^.^
As for your question about the remainder of the plot, I will unfold that to you, all in good time. Also, I need to provide you with more information about Cassandra, like a bit of her background, social class, her powers and how that effects her life, plus what she wears because of her powers. Earlier, when I had read your story bit where you introduced her, I forgot to reiterate to you that she is dressed from head to toe so that her skin is covered. [SPOILER - highlight to read]: Alot like Rogue from the X-Men movies, she needs to cover up so that she won't harm anyone. Cassie's powers are very similar to Rogue's, which her's was based from, but a different in some ways. For I didn't want to make her powers too similar to Marie's/Rogue's. Although she has deadly skin and could hurt people if they touch her bare skin, it won't hurt the undead. Like vampires for example, Louis would later learn this. *wink wink lol* Like Rogue, unable to have human contact hurts her emotionally and causes her to distant herself from others and careful who she falls for and for others around her, their safety. You with me so far, getting this all down? lol
I haven't completely worked out all of events in the story and mystery that surround her powers to coordinate with that time period and all. As in, I haven't gotten to the total significance of what her powers bring other than she founds out that she can find love with a vampire like Louis. Being able to touch him, would bring her such warmth to her heart and bring her closer to Louis. Since both of them are in such pains in their life, they are able to coop by supporting each other and providing comfort when they need it.
For the most part, the story will start out with Louis pining over lost loved ones and Cassandra pining over loss of touch and unable to get close to people. She's depressed at times, although she has a pretty cheerful, wonderful, strong spirit. But, even she has her breaking point. Louis happens to meet her again one night and provide comfort. So, their bond would start out like that. Louis comforting her and become friends, companions by night. In time, shortly, she would be able to return that compassion and support him. Aide him to heal a broken spirit and heart.
Also, they would learn more about her powers and somehow find a way for her to control it somewhat, I guess. Their relationship continues to deepen to the point that Louis falls for her, not quite true love yet, but very close. At one point, he touches her and she's elated that dream granted. So, like I said, the relationship is official from there. Becomes passionate. But their path in life and love is not all a smooth road, there will be some bumps to overcome, obstacles. Although, I'm not all sure what those obstacles are going to be yet. Sorry. Their relationship goes through some rough times towards the end. I already have ideas for how the story can end, but I don't want to spoil you just yet with it! Save that good ending for later. Let me know if you have any further questions on what I have just explained to you! ^.^
Note: I titled this post "Author's Commentary", so that you won't confuse this post with a story bit post!
no, no...lol....actually, i think the idea of a song to match our story is a great idea....*claps* for you Boppy....it just depends on what song...lol, because,some songs can be corny..heh but others can suit quite well.....we'll just have to come up with a suitable song
__________________
Madness, as you know, is like gravity...all it takes is a little push.
really?......thanks a bunch for that Boppy..........that's nice of you to say.....
Boppy, you're a great writer, no matter what genre its about!
lol....*won't worry head off*...
hey, thas cool.....and now that you explain your reasons behind the title "crimson rose" i completely agree with that as our choice for a title....it fits so well.....especially because you explain, in full, the representation of their relationship as a rose, and the 'crimson' bit, referring to vampires....
the 'weather' idea is fantastic!....how the weather will match the moods of the characters....tiz a schweet schweet idea....one i will have to keep in mind for my next story bit, i'll also have to keep in mind the rose bit too..excellent ideas!!...
I'm so glad you explained that to me!..no more confusion...lol...now I won't have any trouble writing my bits.....i understand cassandras background now, and the reason behind her unique hair and as such....
thanks for your help Boppy!...much appreciated....
__________________
Madness, as you know, is like gravity...all it takes is a little push.
no no no! ack! don't take me seriously on that one! gah! imagine if that were our theme song! hmm...cool idea though. try to think of one. just as a fundamental thing to think about. but not add to the story. i'll try to think of some themes, for fun. savvy?
*sorry that i had to delete some of your smilies. darn kmc policies limit amount of smilies in post.*
KMC Community Forums
Story Entry (Bit) II
Sep 15th, 2004 03:46 AM
.......
whoops.....sorry about that....you can change it if you want
.......or, maybe we can have the story from different peoples point of views
.........and as for titles....i like 'love afer dark' 
lithium! i love that song by nirvana 
....the second option
