I haven't really thought that deeply about it before. When you're young you think they'll be around forever. Psychological maturity doesn't increase till around mid twenties.
My baby.
She may just have been a dog to anyone else but she wasnt to me, she was my baby. The one who understood me, who was at my side 24/7, never left me and was my protector.
This is my babies grave in the backyard.
Re: How does it feel to lose someone you care about??
I can understand your question.
My grandmother was the greatest person I have ever known. She understood me in ways that no one else did. I spent a lot of time with her. When she died, I felt like I should have done more. She used to come and pick me up from school (I went to private school, and we had no bus sytem to rely on) I used to fall asleep on the ride home, almost religiously. When she died, I hated myself for not staying awake and talking to her. But, after she died, I realized she and I had spoken on levels that I had never really understood until that point. I fell asleep on the way home, because that was what I was meant to do. It was her job to enjoy that aspect of our relationship. Just as I did.
I have wished for one more chance to fall asleep in her presence more times that I can remember. We didn't need to talk. Love was understood.
__________________ "If I were you"
"If you were me, you'd know the safest place to hide...is in sanity!
My best friend in the world was my dog, Pugsley. I loved him, almost as much as he loved me. I found him on the front porch when my family and I came home from my fathers funneral. He didn't leave me alone once until I left for college. And even then, when I came home, he was waiting for me. I needed him when my father died and he was always there. He was there when the rest of the world wasn't. When I couldn't make sense of it all.
When he died, I was the one that found him. And he was waiting for me. He died next to the gate (to his dog pen. Where he spent his days (with Sable, his much younger wife) when no one was at home) staring out at the world, waiting for me. In some aspects, I feel like I knew he was going to be dead when I went out there. That's why I was there at all.
It's funny how much dogs affect you. (or pets in general) Pugsley was my best friend when I was a child. He was the one that went on all those adventures with me. And while I was lucky that I had him for so long, I wish there had been more time.
__________________ "If I were you"
"If you were me, you'd know the safest place to hide...is in sanity!
Me and my girlfriend worked through a trans-atlantic relationship for a very long time. I did everything I could to keep her and to make things work. She flew home from her final visit yesterday and just 3 hours ago, broke up with me.
Alpha! - sorry - I knew it wasnt going to work out when you made an entire thread about the whole situation the first time...
but I know that horrible heart breaking feeling
ok... I lost my mom when I was 14 - in a car wreck - thanks to a horrible semi (truck) driver...
but I look at it like.. there is always something good that comes out of something bad ... and there are a lot of people I have met and I have been all over the USA & ENgland -- things and people I would have never known.. if...but I still miss her
"Alpha! - sorry - I knew it wasnt going to work out when you made an entire thread about the whole situation the first time...
but I know that horrible heart breaking feeling "
Thank you. It really goes beyond heartbreak though. People tell me to confide in friends and family but everytime I see pictures of her, of us and I cry, it feels like there is no forward. Like a steel wall, cold and unforgiving right infront of my face. It's as if my soul and my very being is seeping out through the tear ducts in my eyes and drying upon my face as a reminder of what was and will never be again. My pillows and bedroom still smell of her and I still see the little sticky mark where she spilt her soda and we laughed about it. I go to the places where we visited on her final visit and I stand there alone, I close my eyes and I tell myself "When I open them, she'll be right there won't she? She will right? When I open my arms, my eyes and my heart she'll be there right?" She never is.
Better to have loved and lost than to never have loved? Well you may not be able to lose love and endure that pain and heartache if you've never had it, but I realise in sadness that love isn't something to gain. It's something to experience and I've had the most amazing experience of my life in conjunction with the most saddening of all time.
Haven't lost to many people I'm close to myself, lost my two grandfathers tho. I catch myself asking a lot of questions about them from time to time. Would be nice to have known them better. But somehow I feel I will have that chance at some point in time
__________________ Be smart, be cool, be sexy = be LIBERAL!
It's difficult to say exactly what it feels like, I think. I was quite young when my grandfather died, so I don't remember much. I didn't cry at the funeral home or during the funeral, but I recall sobbing and sobbing after the family ate lunch.
I think it probably feels like someone has gutted you, tearing out what composes the person you are with a rusty shank. And it doesn't grow back easily. Well, that's probably inaccurate, but that is my best guess at how AC feels.
__________________ Ask me about my "obvious and unpleasant agenda of hatred."
I lost my Dad, a couple years ago. One of the worst things, I had to go through with...is to see him laying in that casket....it was so hard to get over the fact that he was gone...and there is just so many memories of him...it sucks...
__________________ We are on this planet for two reasons. Kicking some ass and drinking some beer. Looks like we are almost out of beer.
I know exactly what you experienced. And I was the one that took her to the vet to be put to sleep. To start a very long story, and try to make it short, here it goes.:
I got her as a present from my mamaw when I was around 4 or 5, and the terrible thing is is that she came from a home <BEFORE She went to my mamaw> Where she was abused, meaning, There was an old man that had many many pomeranians locked up, he was getting too old to feed them and care for them and nurture them. So my mamaw saw her "Casey", is her name, in the back of all the other pomeranians that needed to be sold and she looked the saddest so my mamaw bought her and took her home. She gave her to our family a few short weeks later.
At first she was really really shy, and then when months went on she was all I would follow, if anyone tried to touch me she'd always protect me, It was as if she was a veil around me that blocked any harm from coming.
Years went on and we were always best friends, Two years ago in October, my family and I decided to take a vacation to another state and it was around that time (My dog must have been 12 or 13 or so) my dog started showing signs of sickness, and I debated really hard on if I should leave her, but I went, while I was gone I bought her a collar. When we got back she wasnt any better so a week later on a Friday, my mother decided to make the phoen call to get her put to sleep. I cried and cried, and when they put her to sleep I wrapped her up in my baby blanket and put the new collar I got her on, and buried her in the backyard, even with a gravestone.
my grandma was on holiday in spain visiting my cousins and she had a stroke. when i found out about it i was so scared that she was going to die. what made it worse was that i hadn't seen her since she went on holiday, so basically, if she died, and i hadn't said goodbye, it would have made it worse.
__________________
I hate to break this to you, but being a coward is not a legitimate career
KMC Community Forums
Nov 28th, 2004 10:39 PM
Attachment: 
- I knew it wasnt going to work out when you made an entire thread about the whole situation the first time...
