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Last minute Haiku's
Started by: brandino

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brandino
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Location: United States

Last minute Haiku's

i came up these in my head in like 5 seconds do the same and put em down!

Old dog sitting and loving
Its face growing white its eyes dim
Old dog sleeping and dieing...

In time we shall tell
will you be there at my bridge
Lets cross together as one

there are just two i came up with in a snap of my fingers crit all you want it wont do you a bit of good rolling on floor laughing

Old Post Jan 20th, 2005 02:02 AM
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Syren
dreaming

Gender: Female
Location: every which way but loose

Ok, first of all, well done..... Haiku's are short but stubborn laughing out loud Depending on the structure you decided to use I can't really give a fair comment.... and also, no need to get so defensive straight away, the point of criticism is that it's constructive.


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ThorinWoofer

Old Post Jan 20th, 2005 09:56 AM
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Telpy
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Location: Sector ZZ plural Z alpha

There's another thread like this alreadY!

Old Post Jan 20th, 2005 10:09 AM
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Syren
dreaming

Gender: Female
Location: every which way but loose

Where? Can we have the link please Telpz? happy


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ThorinWoofer

Old Post Jan 20th, 2005 11:32 AM
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Philosophicus
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Location: South Africa

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OK, here are my Haiku (note: the plural of Haiku is also Haiku, not Haiku's)


Over Coffee

Over two coffees
Remarks cast shadows over
The talk of the teas




The fresco of The Last Judgment – Sistine Chapel

Shining sacredly
Onto time’s arrow – a roof
Of human judgment




The destruction of the Tribe of Ahab – Sistine Chapel

Some musing came to
Muster beneath the cyclic
Mark of human might




Notes

He publish the notes
In order to free his tone
But to capture ears




The Shy Painter

It’s southerly spaced.
As clouds gather, the painting
Dries up and departs




Light at the end of the tunnel

The end of the world:
The sun has parted – earth a
Decadent snowball…


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Old Post Jan 20th, 2005 01:11 PM
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