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Help, please.
Started by: poohyougoat

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poohyougoat
*manic depresent*

Gender: Female
Location: Canada, B.C. Vancouver

Question Help, please.

Hello everyone, I'm kind of new here, so I'm a little confused, but beyond that, I have quite alot of material, and i dont know what to do with it, does anyone have and ideas on how i get do something constructive with my poems and writen pieces.

Heres a sample of some of my stuff, please, tell me what you really think of it.

CURSE
Iíve been cut, blood smeared all over me,
All of these little cuts have gotten to me.
Iím going fcuking crazy,
Without his touch, Iím so fcuking lazy.
I want him here right next to me,
But the next time this happens,
I can not see.
While Ö.
My demons are growing bigger
And my soul is growing darker,
Iím running back to my faithful dagger,
And cutting myself harder.
The pain and anguish strengthens,
As the hurting inside stops.
But now my temporary solution,
Has become my constant curse.
And as I feel the pain subside,
The anger returns, it does not hide.
And for a time the darkness has been fed,
Although is still feel like I should be fcuking dead.







SKITS
Pain, pain, double pain,
Kill, kill, kill!
These constant voices in my head,
Make me betray my will.
They tell me thing, that I should do,
They want me to be mean and cruel,
To stab the one I love to death,
To kill my family, Iím out of breath.
So when I happen to look down,
Upon my blood smeared gown.
And Iíve betrayed myself to the voices,
My many personalities donít give me choices.
Theyíve just shattered me to pieces.
Pained, grief stricken I lay on the ground.
When I realize that my loveís been found,
Dead, among the rotting corpses or my family.

Thank you for reading this, please if you have any ideas, let me know, and tell me what you think of these poems.

Old Post Jan 22nd, 2005 05:37 PM
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Syren
dreaming

Gender: Female
Location: every which way but loose

Fantastic, and welcome to the forums big grin First of all I think I should say that your poems are extremely well written and it would be excellent if you could post more, and also feel free to make your own thread to put them in. I'm thinking if you were to continue to post your work in this, that would be great. Plus, here are some sites where you can actually enter for contests and also subscribe in order to have your work professionally reviewed; poetry.com is where the contests are held, I myself have submitted here, fanstory.com is a site where you have to pay a small amount per month but you can actually have your work reviewed and perhaps published if it is of a high standard. I hope you enjoy it here happy


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ThorinWoofer

Old Post Jan 22nd, 2005 05:59 PM
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poohyougoat
*manic depresent*

Gender: Female
Location: Canada, B.C. Vancouver

thank you for taking the time to review this, and i think i will keep posting things here.


__________________
If death is a release, then why are we affraid to die, is it becasue we would rather be depressed and living, than happy and dead?

Old Post Jan 22nd, 2005 11:28 PM
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Syren
dreaming

Gender: Female
Location: every which way but loose

No problem, thanks for joining and I hope you enjoy it here happy


__________________


ThorinWoofer

Old Post Jan 23rd, 2005 12:22 AM
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[email protected]
Confront the darkness

Gender: Unspecified
Location:

Nice! big grin

Old Post Jan 23rd, 2005 11:20 AM
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Trickster
True KMC Jester

Gender: Male
Location: United Kingdom

They are both amazing and emotional, but I really, really liked Curse.


__________________
"If clowns warred on monkeys, and the monkeys had guns, and were trained to use them, who would win?"

Death only gives another set of choices.

He who dies with the most toys. Still dies.

Old Post Jan 24th, 2005 07:16 PM
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poohyougoat
*manic depresent*

Gender: Female
Location: Canada, B.C. Vancouver

Thanks, im going to keep posting stuff, but in a new thread, come see it, if anyone is interested.
thanks for taking the time to read my stuff.


__________________
If death is a release, then why are we affraid to die, is it becasue we would rather be depressed and living, than happy and dead?

Old Post Jan 25th, 2005 12:06 AM
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Corran
Lucifer

Gender: Male
Location: Look out of your Window

quite dark really, you OK?


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Old Post Jan 25th, 2005 12:10 AM
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poohyougoat
*manic depresent*

Gender: Female
Location: Canada, B.C. Vancouver

i guess, at times. thanks for asking, ill share when im ready.


__________________
If death is a release, then why are we affraid to die, is it becasue we would rather be depressed and living, than happy and dead?

Old Post Jan 25th, 2005 12:31 AM
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poohyougoat
*manic depresent*

Gender: Female
Location: Canada, B.C. Vancouver

I broke down, I flushed it out,
The tears started to flow.
And then I started to realize,
How I missed you so.
I feel so very stupid,
For feeling just like this,
For being just like the others,
Just like a little ditz.
And then my oh so gallant wheels,
Inside my head that turn.
Told me something that I,
Really didnít want to learn.
Was all of my loving you,
A blind and childish game.
Or was it much, much more then that,
And am I really to blame?
Did I just need to feel the love?
And why did I really cry,
Was it because Iím sad inside,
Or because I thought Iíd try.
Was it because I was truly sad,
Or was it just because I felt so very bad.
Bad about the things Iíve done,
And all the things Iíve said.
Because I truly thought,
That I could act it out instead.
But myself I cannot fool,
I am a little to clever.
So I cried because I feel,
Nothing once so ever.

kk, people, this isnt as well developed as the others, so be warned if it sux, thanks again for reading, ill keep ya posted with new stuff.


__________________
If death is a release, then why are we affraid to die, is it becasue we would rather be depressed and living, than happy and dead?

Old Post Jan 25th, 2005 12:49 AM
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Syren
dreaming

Gender: Female
Location: every which way but loose

Please post any more in here, I don't want the forum getting too cluttered and everyone knows this is your thread already happy


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ThorinWoofer

Old Post Jan 25th, 2005 08:42 AM
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poohyougoat
*manic depresent*

Gender: Female
Location: Canada, B.C. Vancouver

kk, i guess ill just stay in here then, thnx for the reminder.


__________________
If death is a release, then why are we affraid to die, is it becasue we would rather be depressed and living, than happy and dead?

Old Post Jan 26th, 2005 12:02 AM
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poohyougoat
*manic depresent*

Gender: Female
Location: Canada, B.C. Vancouver

In the end, all of our history,
The long nights, and hard fights,
And all of the conformity.
At the end of this road,
And beginning of this song.
I doubt it mattered all along.
I see the future, the path to come,
And it might be a long and lonely one,
But until I try, I will never know.
So letís just jump into the unknown.
Blind folded and held back,
My soul, my essence has been hacked.
But now I see things, they are quite clear,
The sadness now will disappear.
We are young, and strange and crazy,
But with our youth, we are quite lazy,
To see the truth, for it is hazy.


this is what im feeling right now. after going through quite a bit
and messing up, i see, everything will be ok in the end. so no worries.
lol.


__________________
If death is a release, then why are we affraid to die, is it becasue we would rather be depressed and living, than happy and dead?

Old Post Jan 30th, 2005 11:22 PM
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Tassie
Senior Member

Gender: Female
Location:

Quite Nice big grin First is best, imo happy

Old Post Mar 23rd, 2005 12:26 AM
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