Gender: Female Location: Some where in the Poison Ivy
finding myself - gain or loss?
frantic for the surface I struggle to reach.
no one ever told me this life was a peach.
down through the darkness my thoughts drag me.
deeper and deeper I cannot see.
questions spinning around and around
questions and questions the answers I cant find.
searching and searching I'm going out of my mind.
over and over I cry and scream.
I dont know myself I'm far too deep.
how can I find my identity the answers I seek?
the more I look and cannot find.
the worse I feel lost in my mind.
should I entirely stop my search?
knowing the fact that I am lost.
but I keen to find out.
at what ever cost.
Gender: Female Location: Some where in the Poison Ivy
standing in the background
fading away
so much torment
eating me away.
I sat and admired you
from afar,
for over a year
now look where we are.
just one smile
I'm blown away
cant believe how long it took me
now I'm happy
now your happy
now I'm happy
waking with you beside me
I smile just to see you
cant believe now after so long
I'm settled with you.
this is the strongest i have ever felt
the happiest I've ever been
you chase away all my fears
make me feel safe
in your arms I'm free of all ties and anxieties.
an equal on all levels
for this I'm amazed and greatful.
thank you
love you.
love me
love us.
Gender: Female Location: Some where in the Poison Ivy
a turrent of wind in pages
a whirling mass of paper
I'm slowly lossing my temper.
I cant find the pieces I'm looking for
the deadline's today
the examiner just walked in the door!
canvas every where
paint on the floor
I though I;d finished every thing last week
but theres just more and more and more.
If I dont get this grade its two years gone
and I've been wasting my time all along!
I'm flustered and agitated hairs all in a mess
The examiner walks up to me and says
"why the stress?"
I'm steaming through the ears and he just smiles
"I cant organise things when they're not in a pile!"
he says to me with a jesting laugh
"out of all in the class, you've just about passed!"
Gender: Female Location: Some where in the Poison Ivy
thanks to the gift,
that brightened my eyes,
lifted my heart,
altered my skys,
thanks to the one,
that sparks my desire,
knows what i need,
what i want,
the one that stokes the fire,
thanks for you,
whom i love witout question,
who i think about every day, night and second,
to you who is the sole object of my obsession.
i love u forever,
always ill be yours,
please never turn me away,
or shut me in the cold outdoors.
Gender: Male Location: Holding on tight, never lettin go!
now as I cry, I laugh too
because I know now, I'm better than you!
I smile and thankyou though you dont know why,
you made this girl stronger when you made her cry!.
awesome. just f@#@kin awesome........ you put me in awe.......
__________________
Sent from heaven to raise some hell.
Gender: Female Location: Some where in the Poison Ivy
the make up and clothes I wear
the way that I braid my hair.
all this to keep you people away
dont ask your questions I have nothing to say.
day gives way to night and night to day
but for longer and longer now I stay feeling this way.
the numbing effects of the prozac
the constant icy tingling that runs the length of my back
the doctor said it would help!
I scream, slumped on the floor pulling my hair free from my scalp.
my good days, few and far between
but all these feelings I keep hidden within
are often felt but rarely seen.
the sickening night mares
the violent activities of my sleep scare my sister,
these things so deep in my mind!
the paracite continues to feed
constantly urging me to make myself bleed.
to see the crimson river flow,
to feel the sincere release it gives to me,
so for all of you that stare at me like I'm a special exhibition at the tate
or some treasured rare sight at a freakish fair
think before you open your mouths instead open your minds.
as we are all human we all feel the same and express.
but the way we do should not be ridiculed or under duress.
you scorn and make fun, have you no compassion?
have you no respect?
have you no empathy?
have you no soul?
even if you do not desert me I'll still be here alone
becuase no one can see through my eyes but me
and no one can hear the thoughts I do, my thoughts.
and no one can have the same reasons to feel the way I feel.
you are who you are and I am who I am
so what if I choose to cover myself with a facade?
do you care or do you not?
the difference is for all my faults and feelings and strange strange ways
I'd still do more for you than you'd ever think of doing for me.
I'll never be free.
not of you but of me!
Gender: Female Location: Some where in the Poison Ivy
more and more you drained from me.
you made me ill
why couldnt you see?
you crippled me!
emotionally
mentally
physically
on and on you still wanted more
you drained every thing I had stored!
everything I had to keep myself going
but you didnt care
just as long as you had me there.
your little toy
your china doll
you thought I was unbreakable
you were wrong
and you wronged me time after time.
you always wanted me to say I was yours
you treated me like a posession.
your the sick one.
your the one at fault
your the one with the issues
your the one thats broke
you used me
abused me
isolated me
stripped me
gripped me
held me captive
blinged me
muted me
deafend me
turned me to stone.
you killed me
made me cold and bitter
you hurt me considerably
theres only one thing you did to help and support me
with all your torture I grew stronger day by day
and now we can see just who is the weak one
who's the paracite
whos the sickness
who brings death to every thing they touch
and becuase of this I chose to bring life and love to my environment
and to use the resentment I hold for you as a tool to not do to others what you did to me
I am FREE!
Gender: Female Location: Some where in the Poison Ivy
how can I free myself of the many voices in my mind?
am I really seeing these things?
am i hallucinating or am I blind?
they all talk over one another struggling and dying to be heard.
like so many knots in a ball of wool.
confusion rules in chaos
I cant stay here a minute longer the walls are closing in.
the stale air is chocking me.
dusky light pours in through a crack in the blind
I watch the dust and particles dance in the beam
before turning my head back to the ceiling
before thinking about bleeding.
the comments they make weigh me down with a thousand loads
if my heart sinks any lower it'll be in the ground
these last few nights I havent slept
I've been waiting for him to return
he's the only one that drives it and keeps it away
where is he now?
I long for him which make the load heavier
I hope it wont be too late when he arrives
I'm watching the blood dipping on the slate
this is only a scratch but I could make it worse
the longing I have for him is deep rooted
I know he longs for me
but how can I escape
when my destiny is calling for me?
the angels are waiting
the wind screams for more tears
but this earthen ground I walk upon is saturated
with all my tears and all my fears
please I implore you
save me before its too late
save me kris before my lungs deflate
before my veins run dry
your all I live for
you I would and am dying for
hold me close say you'll never leave
for when your gone the loss I feel is like a debilitating disease
no medic can cure me
only you.
KMC Community Forums
May 24th, 2005 11:17 AM
And I can relate to that feeling 
Skillful imagery. 
thankyou *rubs foot into sand*
