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Home » Misc » Artwork Forum » Poetry Corner » well it took me long enough to find this place!

well it took me long enough to find this place!
Started by: Lara

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Lara
Belladonna

Gender: Female
Location: Some where in the Poison Ivy

whys that? *curious*


__________________


be who you are not what they want you to be!

blessed be x

Old Post Aug 4th, 2005 05:47 PM
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DreamingWarrior
Knight Errant

Gender: Male
Location: Holding on tight, never lettin go!

Lara.

You hurt and cry, the demon chews your heart to bits,
Your soul feels broken, and cast to the pits,
Eyeliner and mascara trail with those tears
And you face again your darkest fears,
Remember, love, you are a special one,
When this pain hits you with a stun,
Think of us, those who care deeply for you.
My words may be old, but tried and true.
If I had the power I'd protect you day and night,
From any evil near, or hidden out of sight.
Cry if you must, ma chere, cry hard,
Don't fear the light revealing the scars,
Just please keep yourself here and safe too.
Remember... If nothing else, a knight cares for you.


__________________

Sent from heaven to raise some hell.

Old Post Aug 6th, 2005 04:55 PM
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Coldfire
<3 <3 <3

Gender: Female
Location: Vancouver, Canada

quote: (post)
Originally posted by DreamingWarrior
Lara.

You hurt and cry, the demon chews your heart to bits,
Your soul feels broken, and cast to the pits,
Eyeliner and mascara trail with those tears
And you face again your darkest fears,
Remember, love, you are a special one,
When this pain hits you with a stun,
Think of us, those who care deeply for you.
My words may be old, but tried and true.
If I had the power I'd protect you day and night,
From any evil near, or hidden out of sight.
Cry if you must, ma chere, cry hard,
Don't fear the light revealing the scars,
Just please keep yourself here and safe too.
Remember... If nothing else, a knight cares for you.

We all care for ya smile


__________________

Old Post Aug 7th, 2005 04:21 AM
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Lara
Belladonna

Gender: Female
Location: Some where in the Poison Ivy

thank you guys embarrasment

and now for that early stuff I promised. baring in mind this stuff is really early I was still at school when I wrote this stuff so was between the ages of 11 and 15.

A simple question with an unknown answer
Bleeding and wounded without a plaster
An aching heart without resolve
Unexplained riddles are not so easily solved

Pain speaking but not English
A currency thatís not gold
Too many thoughts and tales remain untold
Too many wishes that are far too bold

You know that I know things have changed
You know that I know that you are chained
You know that I donít know how you feel
You know that I donít know what light to see you in
You know that Iím uncomfortable in my own skin

Uneasy glances and lost words
Missed chances, tongue tied and hurt
Tearful eyes, depressive anger
A nervous itch and insecure laughter

Curiosity getting the better of me
A voice inside telling me what I should see
My conscience making a mockery
Why cant you see what youíve done to me?


__________________


be who you are not what they want you to be!

blessed be x

Old Post Aug 7th, 2005 12:01 PM
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Lara
Belladonna

Gender: Female
Location: Some where in the Poison Ivy

this is a song I wrote. bad one at that.

This pain I cannot bare

Finding whatís already there is all thatís left to you
Is a gory nightmare
The only difference is that you know you cant wake up

I live I die sleep and cry
This pain I cannot bare
I drink and smoke I long to toke something other than fresh air
This pain I cannot bare

Everything thatís left to me, is nothing much to really see
In a bubble, I live
Its like a sieve when all thatís passing through it is fluid

I live I die, sleep and cry
This pain I cannot bare
To cut my skin is a sin, but itís the only thing that makes me not care
This pain I cannot bare

To realise this is just a dream, If only I could scream and scream
I want to wake but thereís no way out
All I have is nerves and doubt

Finding whats already there is all thatís left to you
A gory nightmare
The only difference is that you know you cant wake up
Everything Iíve ever done is never good enough
The things Iíve seen have made me scream myself hoarse
But its still not enough
Relieve me from my torment, wake me yp
I cant take anymore, Iíve seen enough

I live I die, sleep and cry
This pain I cannot bare
I drink and smoke, I long to toke something other than fresh air
I live I die, sleep and cry
This pain I cannot bare
To cut my skin is a sin
But itís the only thing that makes me not care
This pain I cannot bare
This pain I cannot bare.


__________________


be who you are not what they want you to be!

blessed be x

Old Post Aug 7th, 2005 12:02 PM
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Lara
Belladonna

Gender: Female
Location: Some where in the Poison Ivy

Some times I donít know what to say to people
I just want to walk away
Some times I look at people and think
Itís your fault Iím this way

Iím looking for my better day
Iím looking for that better way
Iím looking for some thing to catch my attention
Iím looking for some one to snatch me away

Its not always possible to please every body
Its not always possible to have faith in god

Iím looking for my peace of mind
Iím always looking but donít think Iíll find
Thereís some thing else I know there is
I know itís not mine so it must be his

Adverse and provoked reactions
Consequences follow after actions
Make of this what you will
I cant explain how I feel.
(02/12/03)


__________________


be who you are not what they want you to be!

blessed be x

Old Post Aug 7th, 2005 12:02 PM
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Lara
Belladonna

Gender: Female
Location: Some where in the Poison Ivy

theres something picking holes in my mind
I cant find what it is, although Iím not blind
This vacancy takes hold from time to time
When people ask if Iím ok, I cant help but say, ďIím fine, reallyĒ
I forget what Iím doing and where I should be
I try to ignore it but it returns with vengeance
Even though I ware a protective pendant
I want to be happy I want to be ok
But it doesnít matter what people do or say
It cant remove the things that have made me this way
The barriers are intact but completely demolished
The plush exterior you see isnít so finely polished
The cassums are there, some wider than others
The more I learn about myself the less I like
I look in the mirror and see a frightful sight
Thereís nothing here but a vacant, empty capsule.


__________________


be who you are not what they want you to be!

blessed be x

Old Post Aug 7th, 2005 12:03 PM
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Lara
Belladonna

Gender: Female
Location: Some where in the Poison Ivy

Locked in a prison of my own creation
Lost in a maze of incoherence
Desolate, there nothing left in me that is capable of caring
Paranoid of being caught in a trap, coming out worse for wear
Explosives waiting for the trigger
The tears that have been cried over the last few years could fill the Pacific Ocean
Intolerance for disobedience
Disorder ranker in the mind
Rotten and disintegrating to the very core
Thereís nothing left to beat warmth anymore
Disregard for everything
Regret for nothing
Pain and suffering for every one
Guilt beyond comprehension
Treason underlying disillusion
Rivers run dry
Earth cracks through deprivation
Sky splits asunder
Its too late Iíve already gone under
Itís too late to right what is wrong
My planets too long dead for redemption and resuscitation
This is my 1 person nation.
(10/12/03)


__________________


be who you are not what they want you to be!

blessed be x

Old Post Aug 7th, 2005 12:03 PM
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Lara
Belladonna

Gender: Female
Location: Some where in the Poison Ivy

Omen
A black dove is an omen just like a blue rose
For ones mind and eyes cannot compose
From natures cruelty you will not survive
The natural disaster that lives in my mind
My imagination is far too cruel
For you to create and compose a rule
You will not hide, you will not survive
That natural disaster that lives in my mind.


__________________


be who you are not what they want you to be!

blessed be x

Old Post Aug 7th, 2005 12:04 PM
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Lara
Belladonna

Gender: Female
Location: Some where in the Poison Ivy

Dark heart
A womanís heart is a cold dark thing
Itís hard to see what she holds within
She holds secrets too dark
For the eyes of a man to withstand
A woman can be too cruel to bare
With a heart full of grief and despair


__________________


be who you are not what they want you to be!

blessed be x

Old Post Aug 7th, 2005 12:04 PM
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Lara
Belladonna

Gender: Female
Location: Some where in the Poison Ivy

Pills!
What would happen if I took all those pills?
ALL of those God damned pills!
Would they heal the pain?
Would they stitch up and hide the wound
Which has been revealed?
What would happen if I took al those pills?
ALL those damn pills!
Would people think any less of me?
Probably.
Would people think Iím a coward?
Probably.
Would people think Iím stupid?
Probably.
Would people understand why?
Never.
What would happen if I took all those pills?
ALL those God damned pills!
Would they drain this life of misery form me?
Would they take me to a better place?
Anywhere is better than here!
It has to be, what else can I believe when I feel like this?
What would happen if I took all those pills?
ALL THOSE DAMN PILLS?
(07/08/04)


__________________


be who you are not what they want you to be!

blessed be x

Old Post Aug 7th, 2005 12:04 PM
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Lara
Belladonna

Gender: Female
Location: Some where in the Poison Ivy

I found another 35 or 36 poems from the same time period that I want to put up for you but you'll have to make do with these few untill I can be bothered to sit in front of the 'puter and type them up. probably do a few at a time. big grin enjoy. to the christians here I mean no offence in the poem "pills!" thats was just how I felt at the time I wrote it. so please take my apologies if I have offended any one.


__________________


be who you are not what they want you to be!

blessed be x

Old Post Aug 7th, 2005 12:09 PM
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DreamingWarrior
Knight Errant

Gender: Male
Location: Holding on tight, never lettin go!

wow... nice work, yo. You are so not empty. You have fullness too many lack. Be confidant and know it. goes for all of you out there. i mean it.


__________________

Sent from heaven to raise some hell.

Old Post Aug 9th, 2005 12:51 AM
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Coldfire
<3 <3 <3

Gender: Female
Location: Vancouver, Canada

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Lara
I found another 35 or 36 poems from the same time period that I want to put up for you but you'll have to make do with these few untill I can be bothered to sit in front of the 'puter and type them up. probably do a few at a time. big grin enjoy. to the christians here I mean no offence in the poem "pills!" thats was just how I felt at the time I wrote it. so please take my apologies if I have offended any one.

As long as we get to read em eventually happy

Good stuff


__________________

Old Post Aug 9th, 2005 07:04 PM
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Lara
Belladonna

Gender: Female
Location: Some where in the Poison Ivy

finally typed up some more. took me an hour to type this lot! enjoy.


Numb of mind
Lost at heart
Isolated alone
Stabbing in the dark
Unable to think
Inability to function
Is this better than the depression?
The answer to this question I implore
Before, I screamed for resolve
But now I scream for nothing
Because I feel nothing
Lost in this puzzle
Numbness takes over when I need to cry
Which is frustrating just like when I wished id die
Waking up every day hoping Iíll feel better than I did before
But going to bed every night hoping
That come morning Iíll be no more
Running on auto pilot now
Some one created by a chemical
But after 8 years of pain and on one week of drugs
Can I be so sceptical?
Given the effects are they right fore me?
Or will it be trial after trial?
Just so I can feel happy again.
But again that reoccurring question calls
Who am I?
And am I me at all?
Only time will tell who I am and am I well.
(14/07/04)


__________________


be who you are not what they want you to be!

blessed be x

Old Post Aug 14th, 2005 11:09 AM
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Lara
Belladonna

Gender: Female
Location: Some where in the Poison Ivy

Agony be gone
Beneath the surface
Lies a black lake
The surface, smooth like obsidon
Underneath a whirlpool of snakes

The biting pain thatís only there when you disturb them,
Overwhelming, draining it saps the very life out of you
The eternal pain of the soul
Never slain, ever present

You canít remove it
Thereís no form of relief
The only way to resolve it
To exist no longer, forever rest in peace

The torment, relentless
If thereís a God, I beg you
Undo this pain you put me through
Free me from this vacant incoherence!

I beg of you, the ones I live among,
Find compassion; let this death wish be spun
Let me find my peace
I mean harm to none.
(23/02/04)


__________________


be who you are not what they want you to be!

blessed be x

Old Post Aug 14th, 2005 11:09 AM
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Lara
Belladonna

Gender: Female
Location: Some where in the Poison Ivy

Too much time have I spent
Sitting on the floor with my knees bent
Seeing only through eyes distraught by pain and tears
Underlying the surface, a fast flowing river of fears
Slumped on the floor, a decrepit mess
Sobbing, begging for release, begging for rest
Praying for consolidation, someone who will understand and resolve me
Needing some one who will love me, accompany me,
Release my tortured and withering heart
To remover the pain, the stress, the fear
To have a companion, who with me,
Could share compassion with experience
Each on our own part
Some one special
Then without warning before me stands,
A generous proposition, a gentleman, a friend
With a serious meaning I cant comprehend
Then, Iím left alone to think,
Once again, down to the floor I sink.


__________________


be who you are not what they want you to be!

blessed be x

Old Post Aug 14th, 2005 11:10 AM
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Lara
Belladonna

Gender: Female
Location: Some where in the Poison Ivy

Guardian Angel
Angel, guardian! My guardian

Angel, guardian of my heart
Once over protective
Now step aside, let him pass

Angel, guardian of the lock
He holds the key
Give him the chance

Angel, guardian, protector of mine
Your job description now changed
Be my guide

Angle, guardian, lead the way
Light the lamp
Show me the warm glow of day

Angel free me but nurture me still
Help me recognise the way I feel.
(18/12/03)


__________________


be who you are not what they want you to be!

blessed be x

Old Post Aug 14th, 2005 11:10 AM
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Lara
Belladonna

Gender: Female
Location: Some where in the Poison Ivy

Trying to amend what has past
My sore and battered heart
Trying to expel the fear and pain
So that I can revive myself and live again

Faded and dull but always there
I keep moving forwards sometimes too fast
And then it catches me up with me when I stop
Like an unexpected flood the past pain washes over me

Exasperated and reclused, I need peace
The only way to achieve this I can see
Is to find a way out,
Free the pain to free me

Trapped at the heart of a growing emotional storm
The otter destruction reflects whatís within
The fear, the pain, the anger, the hunger!
Every thing I hate everything I donít want to be

An all-consuming hate for myself and what I have grown into
Fitting a shell, pre-made by others
And the final result is
Something they knew I would be

Living this down could take the rest of my life
An eternal battle of pain and strife
All this because it has to be done
To tame the raw emotions running rife

Many previous battles have been lost but the war will be won!


__________________


be who you are not what they want you to be!

blessed be x

Old Post Aug 14th, 2005 11:11 AM
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Lara
Belladonna

Gender: Female
Location: Some where in the Poison Ivy

Lines on a page, filled with invisible ink
To read you have to know what you are looking for
Not stare at it and blink
Once you know yourself
The words will show whatís in your heart
The good, the bad and the ugly parts
All the pain, the hurt, the suffering, damage to the soul
But turn the page and itís a new story
Of the love, the joy, the contentment, completion,
The growth of the soul
To continually be knocked down by life is tough
But get up and carry on
Brining with you a smile
Pretending nothing is wrong is a great task in itself
But a greater achievement to say you survived
Through the lowest of the lows
To experience the highest of the highs.
So look a bit deeper
Search with you heart and not with your eyes.


__________________


be who you are not what they want you to be!

blessed be x

Old Post Aug 14th, 2005 11:12 AM
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