Hello everyone I wanted share some of my poetry. I have written when at points of extreme emotion. This first poem was written while I was in China for foreign study in college. I was feeling a little depressed at the time. Don't get me wrong, being in China was a great experience but I felt myself not taking it all in as I should have.
There is no title. I would like to know your opinions.
Here it goes.
As the slowness of the day covers me like a coffe stain
I wrestle with my thoughts
Repeating the same scenes
I am stuck in a play
Written out by myself
With no ending or change
Each climax followed by an anticlimax
This cycle I want to break
This script I want to rewrite
This stage I want to leave
It seems I may be too late
For my lines are on cue
My rehearsals complete
Comfort lies in what I repeat.
I will share some more later. Thank you for reading and for any constructive criticism you may have.
Thank you. I know the idea isn't original but the concept helped to relate the depression I was feeling. the following poem is somewhat dark as well but I think it has a bit of hope laced into it. Plus it may sound more original to you.
Caught up in the exquisite pain of dying
I light a cagarrette in the moons glow
A brisk breeze cuts through my shirt
Reminding me that I can feel the chill
I stand on the corner waiting for my ride
After five short hours it arrives
Black interior with white exterior
This is my kind of car
Jumping inside we speed away
Leaving behind the smell of babies
With the sound of colors
I sit inside with the numbing black
Protected by the bright white
I am comfortable and hope it never stops
when the ride stopsl I stop.
I stop being and become distraught
My face changes and no one can see me
Everyone is a stranger but I am stranger.
I am stranger than you and to you
Do you want to take a ride with me?
the reason I chose to share this poem is because I had wanted to do something that was Abstract and contradictory. I thought that with these images come more questions about the poem thus invoking more thought into the poem. Perhaps you extrapolate from it your own questions and answers. Eventually a poem that builds on itself through others. thanks for reading
Here is a romantic poem that I never sent to the girl I was seeing.
I had a dream about you the other day.
You were smiling by the shore
With the wind playing with your hair.
We came to see the sun rise beneath palm trees
On a white sandy beach.
I can still feel the sand tickle my feet
As you tickled my lips and my heart.
With the smell of salt water
And the rhythmic sound of the ocean
I was in heaven, as we lay in each others arms.
My dream yearns to become reality
As I yearn to become one with you.
I probably never gave it to her because I thought it was cheesy in a Hallmark kind of way but something about it made me keep it all this time. Perhaps I will change it someday to make it different.
Here is a poem about salvation, deciding to live, or hope. I guess it depends on the reader. Enjoy . By the way this is all one poem not two.
want someone to see?
Give me a reason
Ask if you would
Say no to cascading sea
That strikes rocks hard.
Grey skies loom up above
Droplets fall from the sky
Surrounding me in a sheet of water
I raise my head to greet each one
They land on my eyes and lips
Rolling off my chin
To splash down to the ground.
One alone is unheard
But millions create a constant clap.
The lightning strikes
its beauty breathtaking
While its power can kill
Thunder follows with a loud crash.
The day is dark, yet
To me it shines brighter than ever.
An older poem trying to cut a straight path for myself.
the ink is my drug
The pen, my needle
Sink it into my skin
I feel no evil.
For the warmth covers my head
Like a thinking cap
I no longer desire
The winter's nap.
My lines sting and burn
Long loops and cursives
And passionate scriptives
Like tatoos on my back
always remembered but
blurring my vision no more.
Now I look forward for the door.
To escape this room and all of its gloom.
My back may burn but I won't turn.
Because I know I can learn.
One foot forward no more double steppin
I am ready to make things happen.
the original was only the first two parts but I wanted it to go on a little longer. I wouldn't mind if you good people would let me know if the rhythm is off or if the length is. It is a work in progress. Like my life. You know what? After reading it , I don't like it, the timing is off and it rhymes too much it seems like the words are trying too hard to convey the real emotion I feel but are falling short of the task. Any suggestions?