No. 25 a.k.a. Damn You
Haven't been to sleep all night,
I cant keep my eyes open,
immense pain running through my head,
please leave the casket broken,
eyes of bloodshot, teary red,
not wanting to surprise,
the owner of this ready bed,
with her own slow demise,
Please smile at me and tell me that,
the pain will be okay,
cease my eternal solitude,
please help me hide away,
from Evil eyes, Angelic lies,
and words which should not be,
I need you here, come with me now,
come hide away with me.
No. 27
Destruction is my middle name,
there is now nothing sacred,
I spin out lies,
confuse thine eyes,
and say it doesn't mean a thing,
and say it doesn't matter,
I wish for you to understand,
the causes for my reasons,
but I am weak,
deprived of sleep,
and the torture never ceases,
and my pain will never stop.
No. 28
I can be talking,
then they turn around
and talk to someone else,
like I'm not there,
it makes me mad,
'cos they know I'm wrong somewhere,
inside my head,
that's why I cry and hurt inside,
when no one else is there,
I'd like to see you try,
and make me better,
make me.... me,
before I let the blood run free.
No.29
Leave me alone,
'till I have grown,
and I have no more to say,
show me how,
to kill you only,
without causing any pain,
I sleep alone with the lights on,
and think of you with me,
opened eyes unveil the lies,
of which you told to me.
No. 30
My scars are itchy,
don't scratch them,
it hurts too much,
to think about,
what I did and how I let you down,
as you cried to me,
on the telephone,
and all I did was put you down,
I don't know why I made you cry,
or why I told you "no"
I couldn't see you anymore,
because you were alone with him,
you thought of me the whole time through,
and even then I said no to you,
I cant think why I said goodbye,
to you,
the only one who stayed,
I must be mad to let you go,
without your goodnight kiss,
lay me down,
put me to rest,
just let me know,
I didn't break your heart too badly,
collect up all the fractured pieces,
and I'll make them whole for you.
No. 31
Leave me alone,
I want to play by myself,
on this cold stairwell,
I dont want you to see me,
even though,
I'm sitting in plain view,
I like it here,
though I'm hungry and sick,
dont make me move,
from this quiet solitude,
of this cold stairwell,
it's my favourite place in the world,
and I found it today,
it was hidden from me,
as I wanted to be,
but they made me go,
they made me move,
to a park,
on a wall,
by the church,
away from my most favourite place in the world,
with ladybirds,
and daffodils,
and everything I hate,
I'm walking through the graveyard,
and there is no mistake,
that it was my favourite place,
now I'm sitting on a bench,
under shadows,
trying to replicate the stairwell,
that I sat on and was happy,
'till that demon harlot came,
and I had to move my body,
she took away my solitude,
my only place to be alone,
she made me sit with mortal souls,
and I hate them all quite rightly,
those goddamn birds up in the trees,
leave no silence,
but the breeze,
broken glass and broken loneliness,
lay trodden underfoot,
't is cold in the shadows,
but coldness still was warmer on the stairwell,
on my stairwell,
where I was moved,
where no humans dare to tread.
No. 32
Have you ever felt so sad,
that all you want to do is cry,
and cry so hard,
you only stop to bleed inside,
as the pain you feel inside you burns.
And It Hurts.
It hurts so bad you wish you'd die,
to stop the crying in your mind,
your eyes can stand no more,
acid substituted tears,
your guts begin to lurch,
and you do nothing more but wonder,
how you came to be like this,
what heinous crime your body did,
to make your head behave this way.
Well have you?
Tell me,
tell me all I need to hear about,
your pain,
your tiredness and suffering,
the sadness felt,
because you were unable to feel anything else,
remember it and ask me, Why?
No. 33
Tears are stained,
all down my face,
for I have cried,
the day you died,
I held you there,
on the table,
morphine injection,
to make you retire,
to the back of your box,
where you lie,
and slowly die,
as I'm crying,
in the corner,
such a loner,
I wish you'd never go,
my cat,
I love you too much,
to let you leave,
please stay,
don't go away,
or leave me crying,
watching you dying,
in your box,
on the table,
I am not able,
I know,
your not coming home with us,
anymore,
you'll go to sleep,
and be the quietest,
I've ever seen you be,
you will not move,
again forever,
will not purr,
if I touch your fur,
but I'll hug you till the end.
This can only mean one thing.... New poems!
Don't all jump up at once.
Hmm, what number was I on? Oh yeah...
No. 34
26 November 2006, 12:59:42
If you kiss me I won’t tell,
unless it really matters.
If I found out that you’d die,
from the shame of virginity,
I’d spread it all around,
about our escapades behind the shed,
that ended in grins and secrecy,
even if they just were fictitious daydreams,
fabricated by hormonal children.
My writers block has returned,
and I can’t finish the end of this lie,
I’ll just let it sit,
let it write itself whole.
Let’s play Chinese whispers,
and let it snowball,
out of all control.
Soon we’ll be living together,
and having a child,
when really were still sitting side by side,
only just daring to hold hands,
and ask how we both are.
We could jump on the band wagon,
believe it ourselves,
believe neither of us would have to leave,
until tomorrow.
Let’s play Chinese whispers,
and let it snowball,
out of all control.
This poem/lyric is completely shite. I’m not quite sure why I wrote it, but I did and now I have to live with it. Like so many of my other attempts at poetry, this one failed. Therefore I have come to the conclusion that I am, no matter what anybody else says, a poetaster. An individual who, without a doubt, writes terribly nonsensical poetry. However writes with near perfect grammatical accuracy, even if I do say so myself. Which I do. =]
You make me feel like dying,
if only to block out the pain I feel when I think I’ve let you down,
made you sad.
It makes my cry because you sound so disappointed on the phone,
I’m sorry if I ever made you feel this way,
as if you were second best.
I just feel that I’m not good enough,
and that you’d be happier with someone else,
someone who can give you their undivided attention and be with you every day.
I know I don’t deserve you,
and you deserve much better,
better than me,
better than I could ever be.
I don’t understand why it’s me you choose to be with.
People wonder why I hate Christmas,
yet here I lie in my bed,
feeling half dead,
and bleeding.
Being blamed for being me and succumbing to depression.
I once said I couldn't cry,
yet here I am,
I've proved myself wrong,
contradicted my claims of solidarity,
screaming ‘till my voice gave in.
My hands are bruised and bleeding.
Slowly breathing to calm my rising anger,
there has been no other time where I thought my sanity had left me,
than this unparalleled Friday,
where I wished I’d gone out and that I never would return,
for fear of scorn and impatience,
for without conscience messing up the kitchen floor,
with clothing and chairs.
I threw them around as if they weren't there.
And I had all but forgotten what I had done,
how my mind was overcome by the annoyance in my voice,
that no one seems to understand.
Even when,
without flinching I wield that razor in my hand,
and proceed to drain away the pain.
The insurmountable anger.
Yet no one understands why I hurt myself,
that’s the only way of letting go the fury tainted blood,
coursing unstoppable through my veins.
I lay here now and write these words and thus,
explain my manic sensibility,
if not to others then at least to myself,
why I act the way I do.
I don’t know how I’m going to manage the rest of the day,
with the prospect of what’s to come,
the tedium of what I have done being discovered.
I lean upon my heart and empty stomach,
and consider sleeping the rest of the nightmare away,
until the apathy decides to leave.
I only hope that when I wake that this would have been delusion,
even though I know this is not so,
KMC Community Forums
Jan 19th, 2006 10:12 PM
