Obi-Wan: So how's it going with Padmé?
Anakin: No joy yet.
Obi-Wan: How long is it?
Anakin: Six weeks.
Obi-Wan: Six weeks!
Anakin: It's a nightmare. She told me she didn't want our relationship to start on a physical basis as that is how it would be principally defined from then on in.
Obi-Wan: Where did she come up with that?
Anakin: She read it on the HoloNet.
Obi-Wan: Six weeks and no sex?
Anakin: I've got balls the size of small moons, I'm telling you.
Obi-Wan: Those aren't small moons, those are space stations.
Anakin: Eh?
__________________ They stole me lucky charms... you know what to do laddie...
Burn them down!! The lot of them!!
Obi-Wan (voice-over): Yoda was right. The galaxy is changing, the senate is changing, the Jedi are changing, even men and women are changing. One thousand years from now there'll be no guys and no girls, just wankers. Sounds great to me. It's just a pity nobody told Anakin.
Anakin (reaching under Padmé skirt): F**kin' hell!
Anakin (putting on Vader helmet): Nooooooooooooo!!!
Later...
Anakin: I'm no a f**king buftie and that's the end of it!
Obi-Wan: Let's face it, it could have been wonderful.
Anakin flicks his cigarette at Obi-Wan and pins him to the wall. He produces his lightsaber.
Anakin: Now, listen to me, you piece of junky shit. A joke's a f**king joke, but you mention her again and I'll cut you up. Understand?
__________________ They stole me lucky charms... you know what to do laddie...
Burn them down!! The lot of them!!
anakin: picture the scene wednesday morning, me n obi wan are in the mos eisley canteena playin a game o holo chess...playing like gary kasparov by the way and im given the master here the tannin o a lifetime...well its come doon tae the final few pieces...i'm moving my pieces intae postition...he's sittin there lookin aw biscuit arsed when in walk this rodian...or so called rodian...obviously fancies himself like...starts putin me off ma game...just for kicks like...starts starin at me RIGHT FU*CIN AT ME as if tae say "come ahead...square go"...well ye ken me guys...im no one for going lookin for a fight...but im the one wi a lightsabre in ma hand and he can hae the hot end in the pus any time he wanted like....so what do i dae...i squares up..aw casual like....and what does the so called rodian dae...SHITES IT...puts doon his java juice...turns aroond...and gets the f*ck oot o there...after that...the game wis mine"
On Mustafar:
Anakin: That wee lassie got strangled, and no c*nt leaves till I find oot what c*nt did it.
Obi-Wan: What the f**k are you talkin' aboot? We're the only ones here... and ye ken it was you!
Anakin: YEESSS! (Kicks him in the crotch)
__________________ They stole me lucky charms... you know what to do laddie...
Burn them down!! The lot of them!!
(please log in to view the image)
Obi-Wan: What the f**k is that?
Obi-Wan (Narrating): In the normal run of things, I would have nothing to do with the c*nt. But this was not the normal run of things.
Qui-Gon: A lightsaber. Ideal for your purposes. Slow release. Bring you down gradual. Custom f**king designed for your needs.
Obi-Wan: I want a f*cking hit! I want f*cking death sticks!
Qui-Gon: It's all I've got matey, take it or leave it.
(Obi-Wan considers this and eventually takes the lightsaber and inserts it rectally)
Qui-Gon: Aye, you feel better the now right?
Obi-Wan: Oh yeah, for all the good it's done me, I might as well have stuck it up me arse!
__________________ They stole me lucky charms... you know what to do laddie...
Burn them down!! The lot of them!!
Quigon: I swear Obiwan if i catch you having unprotected sex with the wildlife again ill smack you fool. I know they might feel uncomfortable and heavy, but this will save you from AIDS, herpes or the dreaded Gungan rash.
1st Interviewer: Mr. Palpatine, do you mean to tell us that you MANIPULATED us for your election as Emperor?
Palps: No! Uh. Yes. Only to get my foot in the door. Showing initiative and that like.
1st Interviewer: But you were elected as Chancellor by the Galactic Senate of the Republic, there was no need for you to get your "foot in the door," as you put it.
Palps: Ehhh... cool. Whatever you say, I'm sorry. You're the man. The dude in the chair.
2nd Interviewer: Mr. Palpatine, what exactly attracts you to politics?
Palps: In a word... pleasure. It's like, my pleasure in other people's oppression.
__________________ They stole me lucky charms... you know what to do laddie...
Burn them down!! The lot of them!!
(please log in to view the image)
(Padmé just moved for a vote of no confidence in Chancellor Valorum's leadership, under thunderous applause by the senate. She's leaves the Senate and walks on the landing platform.)
Anakin: Excuse me, excuse me. I don't mean to harass you, but I was very impressed with the capable and stylish manner in which you dealt with that situation. And I was thinking to myself, now this girl's special.
Padmé: Thanks.
Anakin: What's your name?
Padmé: Padmé.
Anakin: And where are you going, Padmé?
Padmé: I'm going to Naboo.
Anakin: Well, where's that?
Padmé: It's where I live.
Anakin: Great.
Padmé: What?
Anakin: Well, I'll come back with you if you like, but like, I'm not promising anything, you know.
Padmé: Do you find that this approach usually works? Or let me guess, you've never tried it before. In fact, you don't normally approach girls - am I right? You think I'm an angel - right? The truth is that you're a quiet sensitive type but, if I'm prepared to take a chance, I might just get to know the inner you: whiny, adventurous, passionate, loving, loyal. Airtaxi! A little bit crazy, a little bit bad. Like there's a dark side to ya. But hey - don't us girls just love that?
Anakin: Eh? (please log in to view the image)
Padmé (gets in airtaxi): Well, what's wrong boy - wookiee got your tongue? (please log in to view the image)
__________________ They stole me lucky charms... you know what to do laddie...
Burn them down!! The lot of them!!
Last edited by Obi-OneManShow on Jun 7th, 2005 at 01:57 PM
ok ...you want a bigger challenge...have you seen 25th hour with edward norton...the scene in the bathroom...the speech
F.U.C.K me? F.U.C.K you! F.U.C.K you and this whole city and everyone in it. F.U.C.K the panhandlers, grubbing for money, and smiling at me behind my back. F.U.C.K the squeegee men dirtying up the clean windshield of my car. Get a ****ing job! **** the Sikhs and the Pakistanis bombing down the avenues in decrepit cabs, curry steaming out their pores, stinking up my day. Terrorists in ****ing training. SLOW THE **** DOWN! F.U.C.K the Chelsea boys with their waxed chests and pumped up biceps. Going down on each other in my parks and on my piers, jingling their dicks on my Channel 35. F.U.C.K the Korean grocers with their pyramids of overpriced fruit and their tulips and roses wrapped in plastic. Ten years in the country, still no speaky English? F.U.C.K the Russians in Brighton Beach. Mobster thugs sitting in cafés, sipping tea in little glasses, sugar cubes between their teeth. Wheelin' and dealin' and schemin'. Go back where you ****ing came from! F.U.C.K the black-hatted Hasidim, strolling up and down 47th street in their dirty gabardine with their dandruff. Selling South African apartheid diamonds! F.U.C.K the Wall Street brokers. Self-styled masters of the universe. Michael Douglas, Gordon Gecko wannabe mother ****ers, figuring out new ways to rob hard working people blind. Send those Enron assholes to jail for ****ING LIFE! You think Bush and Cheney didn't know about that shit? Give me a ****ing break! Tyco! Worldcom! F.U.C.K the Puerto Ricans. 20 to a car, swelling up the welfare rolls, worst ****in' parade in the city. And don't even get me started on the Dominicans, because they make the Puerto Ricans look good. F.U.C.K the Bensonhurst Italians with their pomaded hair, their nylon warm-up suits, their St. Anthony medallions, swinging their, Jason Giambi, Louisville slugger, baseball bats, trying to audition for the Sopranos. F.U.C.K the Upper East Side wives with their Hermes scarves and their fifty-dollar Balducci artichokes. Overfed faces getting pulled and lifted and stretched, all taut and shiny. You're not fooling anybody, sweetheart! F.U.C.K the uptown brothers. They never pass the ball, they don't want to play defense, they take fives steps on every lay-up to the hoop. And then they want to turn around and blame everything on the white man. Slavery ended one hundred and thirty seven years ago. Move the **** on! F.U.C.K the corrupt cops with their anus violating plungers and their 41 shots, standing behind a blue wall of silence. You betray our trust! F.U.C.K the priests who put their hands down some innocent child's pants. F.U.C.K the church that protects them, delivering us into evil. And while you're at it, F.U.C.K JC! He got off easy! A day on the cross, a weekend in hell, and all the hallelujahs of the legioned angels for eternity! Try seven years in ****in' Otisville, J! F.U.C.K Osama Bin Laden, Al Qaeda, and backward-ass, cave-dwelling, fundamentalist assholes everywhere. On the names of innocent thousands murdered, I pray you spend the rest of eternity with your seventy-two whores roasting in a jet-fueled fire in hell. You towel headed camel jockeys can kiss my royal Irish ass!
My last Trainspotting one... better quit while I'm ahead: (please log in to view the image)
Anakin (about going to the Dark Side): People think it's all about misery and desperation and death and all that shit which is not to be ignored, but what they forget is the pleasure of it. Otherwise we wouldn't do it. After all, we're not f**king stupid. At least, we're not that f**king stupid.
__________________ They stole me lucky charms... you know what to do laddie...
Burn them down!! The lot of them!!
KMC Community Forums
They stole me lucky charms... you know what to do laddie...
Jun 7th, 2005 09:37 AM
I better not... I haven't seen the film and I've a big exam in 2 days 
