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"The Long Walk" or "Unfamilar Deja Vu"
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Cory Chaos
AmStar 14 Manager

Gender: Male
Location: Mooresville, NC

"The Long Walk" or "Unfamilar Deja Vu"

Pardon the format, like last time, it's just easier to read and follow this way. Gets across what I'm really feeling. When you do read this, approach it like a first person or narrative.


It's dually titled; "The Long Walk" or "Unfamilar Deja Vu"




I've been here before, nothing ever changes, just the circumstances, the catalyst

This time around, it's a little colder, the wait longer, the path darker, the hall more desolate

Dead man walking, this, the black mile I was teased with times before

A cruel trick, or an even crueler reality, the answer will come soon enough

Criminal of my own flaws, robbed myself of opportunity, mugged by greed

Naive, sure, but did I violate the statutes, or is the Judge just out of patience?

The stroll is the hard part, fear of the unknown, fate undecided, just hanging

Just like last time, only the scales are calibrated, ready to weigh, decide, seal

I'm not surprised, frankly, living on borrowed time, never learning, apparently

Weathered, numbed, calloused, prepared, anxious, what's the verdict, you?

Legs are tired, let me rest, yeah, I deserve to ache as well, and trust me, I do

What's the word? I'm ready. I've hurt enough, myself, and everyone else..

Guilty.

The evidence?

****ing look at her..

Last edited by Cory Chaos on Jun 10th, 2005 at 04:17 AM

Old Post Jun 10th, 2005 04:10 AM
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calvinNhobbes
Senior Member

Gender: Male
Location: United States

I like the imagery and the way you play with the words in a self depricating manner. I am curious to know if this is drawn from your actions or just how you feel. I am also curious to see this made a bit longer but perhaps the mystery of the narrative itself is part of the draw. In general I like it. It could fit in well, especially as an aside in a avante noir type of novel. Made me reflect and think. Thanks for sharing.


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Old Post Jun 12th, 2005 01:19 AM
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Coldfire
<3 <3 <3

Gender: Female
Location: Vancouver, Canada

I liked it too; though I don't have a bunch of big words to describe it lol stick out tongue But yeah the imagery was great. It almost feels like... I lived through that or witnessed that..


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Old Post Jun 12th, 2005 08:54 AM
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DreamingWarrior
Knight Errant

Gender: Male
Location: Holding on tight, never lettin go!

cool work, but try to keep em all in one place, or else the good mods will tell you to. haha keep writing dude.


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Sent from heaven to raise some hell.

Old Post Jun 12th, 2005 03:51 PM
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Coldfire
<3 <3 <3

Gender: Female
Location: Vancouver, Canada

Lol ya the mods just might do that. But your work is awesome happy


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Old Post Jun 14th, 2005 03:54 AM
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