canadian_girl45
Willow's b*tch
Gender: Female Location: Ontario, Canada
My new poem....(opinions please)
With You
You are the only person
The one that I hold true
The one who's always by my side
To whom I say "I love you"
Every time we share
Seems endless, swept away
Yet it goes on forever, love
In every single day
Whenever I have left you
You're the one I truely miss
But when I have returned to you
We share loves sweet kiss
You are the one and only
The one that I hold true
For love is ever with us both
Because I am with you
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Jun 22nd, 2005 01:51 AM
Fëanor
Senior Member
Gender: Male Location: Winterfell
no offense, but when i read this it reminds me for some reason of a hallmark card - i gather that was not your intention
otherwise, your poems are a work in progress...but on the right track
Jun 22nd, 2005 05:22 AM
canadian_girl45
Willow's b*tch
Gender: Female Location: Ontario, Canada
quote: (post ) Originally posted by Fëanor
no offense, but when i read this it reminds me for some reason of a hallmark card - i gather that was not your intention
otherwise, your poems are a work in progress...but on the right track
No it wasn't but critisism is always appreciated
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Jun 22nd, 2005 10:50 AM
DreamingWarrior
Knight Errant
Gender: Male Location: Holding on tight, never lettin go!
hahhaha mebbe a card, but a better one than most i have seen. which brings up a great topic, send it to hallmark and profit from your talent! haha! nice work overall.
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Sent from heaven to raise some hell.
Jun 22nd, 2005 05:02 PM
Fëanor
Senior Member
Gender: Male Location: Winterfell
too true.....if i weren't so prosaic i may just do that as well
Jun 22nd, 2005 08:49 PM
Coldfire
<3 <3 <3
Gender: Female Location: Vancouver, Canada
quote: (post ) Originally posted by Fëanor
no offense, but when i read this it reminds me for some reason of a hallmark card - i gather that was not your intention
otherwise, your poems are a work in progress...but on the right track
I kinda thought it did too, though it is good
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Jun 23rd, 2005 04:05 AM
canadian_girl45
Willow's b*tch
Gender: Female Location: Ontario, Canada
quote: (post ) Originally posted by DreamingWarrior
hahhaha mebbe a card, but a better one than most i have seen. which brings up a great topic, send it to hallmark and profit from your talent! haha! nice work overall.
Interesting suggestion. I might just be crazy enough to do it lol.
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Jun 23rd, 2005 11:50 AM
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